Anyone get tired of being alone!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by nleer, Apr 25, 2013.

  1. nleer

    nleer Member

    I spend most of my days by myself. I can't drive now and don't really have anyone I can talk to so I sleep or try to get interested in the things I used to do.

    Any suggestions as to how to stay around people! I am homebound but love to be around people!
  2. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    and I can play video games with my grandson! Our new library is opening up soon and it's just a block away. I want to be a story time reader or maybe tutor high school kids. I also got a little camera that takes videos and if you have a special talent for ANYTHING at all, make a video of it! Doesn't have to be perfect. I'm learning how to get my houseplants to grow better, beading, bird care and cooking Italian food! So many things to do and they don't cost a lot either!

    Soft hugs,
  3. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Right, not everyone is a loner and some are less hampered by their illness than others. And please don't someone tell me it's all a matter of attitude because it's not. I know I was very involved with work and the community before CFS and would love to be now.

    Do you read? I have the same problem as you with being alone so much, but I found a book that's helped give me ideas of how to cope. It's by Martha Beck and it's called (ready?) Finding Your Way In A Wild New World - Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want. Whew. FYI, Martha Beck has Fibro which seems to get more aid and is not always as debilitating as CFS is for many folks.

    Coming here is also helpful, but I decided a few years ago that keeping my mind focused on my illness wasn't working for me. So I drop in now and then and think of everyone often.

    Good luck!

  4. RENA0808

    RENA0808 Member

    I feel lonely loads of times but have learned how to cope.It is hard but do you have family and friends nearby?

    I have one daughter and one g/daughter but dont see them much because of her working and school stuff.

    Do you have old friends that you can get in contact with???I email people!
    I ring old pals for company and laughs ..............sister too!

    Do you have a dog that you could walk?I adore my little dog....if no-one in the world loves me..........MY DOG DOES LOL.
    I tend to watch food programmes and borings stuff on TV but it makes my days shorter by watching .AND makes me hungry lol!!!

    The weather here in UK has been really bad last year and also this year.We are still having frosty nights and it is hard to feel the need to socialise with anyone.
    But hopefully things will pick up.Even if I just walk my dog it gets me out and saying hello to others.

    Hope you feel better soon and find something in your life to enrich it.
  5. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    That "normal" people can choose to socialize or not. People with debilitating illnesses do not have that choice. It is imposed on us. For people who do not enjoy being alone, this can be so hard.

    I was single, working hard at a good job and going out with friends often before CFIDS/ME and FMS had me bedridden most of the time and on Morphine. I had to get grief counseling for the life I had to leave. Fortunately for me, I'm an only child of a single parent so grew up alone a lot of the time, even though I had lots of friends.

    Also, fortunately for me, I have healed to the point that I think I'll be able to do more things now. I have a lot of other retired friends where I live and I can choose to be as busy as I want. I still don't have a lot of energy and I like my alone time so I balance my social and alone time better now.

    My heart goes out to those who are feeling so isolated and lonely due to illness. Your feelings are valid. Grief counseling helped me and I highly recommend it. It helps one get to acceptance. Acceptance is not giving in or giving up. It just allows us to get past the denial, anger or depression of life's cruel surprises. With acceptance comes less stress, which is our worst enemy. My prayers and best wishes go out to everyone who feels alone in life. One of my greatest gifts has been the kind, loving members here who have been so generous in sharing. Almost every treatment which has helped me is something I first learned of here.

    Love, Mikie
  6. artyreader

    artyreader Member

    I love Martha Beck--she is refreshing and real and funny and I feel I have a cheerleader urging me on when I read her.

    I'm going to look for the book you mentioned ( Because of finances, I will first look to see if the library has a copy--yay libraries!!!)

    I had not heard of that particular book, and thank you for mentioning it.

    Reading her is like taking nutritious, strengthening vitamins--and because of her great sense of humor, I'm talking about brightly colored, yummy vitamins that both challenge, inform, encourage and delight!
    All the best,
  7. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Can you believe I'm still working my way through this book?? Yes, I love Martha Beck for all the reasons you gave but this one's a challenge. It's her newest book, I believe. And yes, they do have it in the library. Except for "You Don't Look Sick" which I bought, I get all my books there. This is NOT a book you can skim through and your brain MUST be working which is often a challenge for me.

    Mikie, you're absolutely right about choice. It's one thing to choose to be a loner, but a whole other can of worms if it's forced upon you and if like many of us, we were previously very social. (I hope you're doing better.)

    What's more, forced isolation causes depression which causes more fatigue. As the commercial says, depression hurts. As well as CFS/ME and FM.

    Gentle hugs,

  8. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Thanks for the shout out. You are right; it's a downward spiral--depression, fatigue, more depression, more fatigue, not to mention feelings of isolation and pain.

    I'm doing pretty well now that I've stopped eating wheat. I have shoulder surgery on the 14th but it's laproscopic surgery in an outpatient facility. Should be a piece of cake with fast rehab and healing (famous last words :)

    I keep us all in my prayers, not only for healing from our illnesses but also for all the ancillary problems our conditions cause. Our finances and relationships suffer too.

    Love, Mikie
  9. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Sometimes I wonder if there is anything more wonderful than being understood!

    Thank you.

  10. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    And being understood are the best medicines.

    Love, Mikie