Anyone had a negative reaction from a friend???

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by goingslowlycrazy, Apr 7, 2003.

  1. goingslowlycrazy

    goingslowlycrazy New Member

    I had the this experience last week with a (so I thought)dear friend.

    Her marriage has been falling apart for years and she recently met a new man who she is now totally in love with, and for whom she has now ended her marriage and is selling the family home to go live with him.
    Can you imagine the hours and hours I have sat with her and listened to her about all this - not to mention all the precious energy I have expended when I could ill afford it?

    I went to see her last week and listened to her for another hour about her 'problems' and when she finally asked what had been happening with me, I told her I had finally got a diagnosis of CFS.
    She looked at me as if I was the biggest hypochondriac out there - sighed, and then changed the subject. Just like that.
    I was so shocked, hurt and she made me feel stupid somehow.
    Then when I got home I felt really angry and disappointed in her.
    Does she think I 'do' this for attention? I had plenty of things in my life prior to this DD that got me much nicer attention, thank you very much!
    Has anyone else had a similar experience and how did you deal with it?
    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    hugs
    Mary x
  2. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    If it is someone who is a dear friend you should be able to talk about these things to her. We all have lost normals do to many reasons. A good friend IMHO should provide empathy and a good ear. This DD really helps sort out a true friend. A casual friend I agree with Madwolf, that is what I say unless they probe. Atleast you know where you stand now, unfortunately we have lost the support from many we have loved and cared about, it hurts non the less. It is back to our ME generation. I know it is hard for others to "get it". Atleast if they try it really helps. This and chronic illnesses are a very lonely place. Hang in there,decide what you need to do about this relationship. Hugssss

    Remember Madwolf is a guy, female relationships are diff. Sorry Madwolf nothing against men,they just relate diff. You know that Mars Venus thing.
    [This Message was Edited on 04/08/2003]
  3. goingslowlycrazy

    goingslowlycrazy New Member

    I am sitting here feeling awful now. The very same friend rang me about half an hour after I had posted this and asked if she could come round for coffee.
    She brought me three carrier bags full of beauty goodies (she is an Avon rep) so that I can pamper myself...and she has obviously been reading up on CFS.
    We had a really long conversation about it and she even asked me if I thought my son has it too. I do - but I havn't told anyone else that apart from you lot - so she had obviously done her homework as well as thinking a lot about it all!!!!!
    So I feel very humbled that I got so cross and feel valued that she had gone to so much trouble for me.
    Maybe her reaction was due to not knowing anything about it at the time?
    Anyway - I'm slinking off to eat humble pie.............
    hugs
    Mary x
  4. bejo

    bejo New Member

    I get that reaction from people sometimes.If it is someone that doesn't always have that attitude,then I think that maybe they are having a bad day too.But if that is always that persons attitude then I usually just try to stay away from them.But yes it does hurt to have friends act like that.((((((just for you))))))) bejo
  5. vsmith1210

    vsmith1210 New Member

    I am so sorry to here tha tyou lost a dear friend, I too know how you feel, i went threw a similar thing . except i an allergic to smoke and my frien smokes, and I asked her to step outside to smoke and she never put foot back inside my house since , some frien huh! well if they were they would be more understanding, I have a true friend now and she stands by me unconditoinaly no matter what, are how i feel, why dont u email me maybe we could talk.vsmith1210@hotmail.com,OH but by the way now that her daughter has MS she has been coming around again,
  6. sunnysideliving

    sunnysideliving New Member

    Hello,

    Do not be ashamed, but be happy. People need time to process information and express feelings, even those are close friends.
    I think you should not be ashamed, but keep up the friendship!
    Good to hear that she cares about you!

    Cheers ;)
    Andras