Anyone Have a Nanny or Housekeeper ????

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by abcanada, Oct 24, 2006.

  1. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    I'm at the point where things are getting way too overwhelming, and have put off getting some kind of help in our home. I did it during last pregnancy, and hated having someone else in my space. I'm affraid if I don't, it might be the end of me. I've been on a serious health bender for soo long now, I'm not sure whats worse the mess or the help! My doc said yesterday that she would do anything to help me get CPP benefits. Thanks, Laura
  2. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    I love your picture of your children.

    I am thinking of getting a maid to come in at least twice a month to help with the cleaning that I can't do ( which is pretty much all of my home)

    I can't even get my older kids to clean up after themselves and I have tried everything to get them to help around the house, I know that if I do the cleaning I will be bedridding
    for the next 5 days. I hope that you are able to get onto CPP, I was just denied it about a month ago. apparently CPP is alot harder to get then O.D.S.P.

    Have you thought about applying for that as well?

    Love to you, Ann
  3. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    Can you elaborate on what that is. Every time I ask someone about what help is availiable, no one seems to know... Thanks, Hugs to you Laura
  4. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    it's Ontario Disability Support program,
    it's just like CPP ( although CPP does not have a health benefit program). you get a monthly allowance and helth benefits. Does this help in anyway? what else can I answer for you?

    Love, Ann




  5. mindbender

    mindbender New Member

    Laura, I'm seriously querying this. I couldn't stand house cleaning before this DD, and I hate it worse since I've had to actually do it.

    I know this is not what you are talking about. I am considering a maid once a week when I get disability because it would take an extra load off my wife over the weekend.

    I don't like anyone in my house either. I would however, like to use the little time I have on something more important to me.

    Dan
  6. wish_to_be_healthy

    wish_to_be_healthy New Member

    I just wrot e this nice note and it dissapeared!!!

    What I wrote was while I was in CA, I had a housekeeper who was like a friend, so I wasn't uncomfortable with her.

    Since moving into my house here in MN in Jan, it is total chaos...I really need some help also.

    I did have a respite care worker come in to help with Aidan, who has the Autism spectrum...but it was never enough time.

    I'm like you Anne, if i do have good energy, and work on it, I will pay with days in bed...That has happened with this costume I'm making (fun to do, but tiring, and take the limitted energy fo other things...like cleaning the house)

    I need some help...hard to find someone you feel comfortable with in your space, especially if you are feel ill also,

    Suz

    Is CCP benefits for Canadian Disability?
  7. Aeronsmom

    Aeronsmom New Member

    CCP? or CPP

    Cpp is Canadain Pension Plan. hope this helps.

    I think that we can always advertise for a housekeeper until we find the right one that we feel comfortable with.

    Love to all, Ann
  8. spacee

    spacee Member

    I had to have someone for a number of years. And I know even with that my hubby did the grocery shopping for 4 years and I did the laundry. (I didn't want anyone to do the kids clothes because they would put them in the wrong drawers and I didn't have energy to straighten them out).

    Then the laundry became unmanageble for me with the kids in sports and hubby and I switched. I grocery shopped and he did the laundry.

    I was concerned that the boys (3) would grow up and think housework was beneath them :) but the oldest's wife got him into shape (snicker). The 2nd was never adverse to cleaning when he got his own place. And....get this...the 3rd cleans the bathroom at the Fraternity house until they get a new pledge class (then the pledges have to do it). He can't stand the bathroom being filthy. lol

    With those precious ones, you would have more engery to spend with them.

    Spacee
  9. wish_to_be_healthy

    wish_to_be_healthy New Member

    Especially about your youngest and the bathroom at the frat house...

    Made me giggle : )

    Suz

  10. mezombie

    mezombie Member

    I live alone and my health goes into a tail spin everytime I try to do housecleaning. Even cooking is really hard for me because it involves movement and multitasking and sets of really bad dizziness and nausea.

    I do have a pair of young women who come in to clean every two weeks. They're quite good and very fast, so it's not too disruptive. I know what you mean about hating having someone in your space! I found them through friends or neighbors, don't remember which, but those really are the best sources IMHO.

    I also found someone who helps an elderly woman in my building. She lives nearby, and I've hired her to do some of the laundry (sheets and towels) and to cook some meals. She does all this at her home, so it's not disruptive.

    Again, I found her through someone I knew, so I had a good feel for what I was getting.

    As to a nanny, would it be possible to get a high school girl to help out after school on a regular basis? Would that help you?

    Or maybe there is a day camp or after school program that your children could go to. That would at least give you a respite.

    Please remember that your health really should be your number one priority. I know it's hard to have someone in your space, but getting sicker is harder! If you do end up having someone come in regularly, maybe you could retreat to one room and rest, meditate, listen to soothing CDs, or do whatever helps you?

    I hope at least some of this is helpful.[This Message was Edited on 10/25/2006]
  11. rockymtnmom

    rockymtnmom New Member

    Dear abcanada,
    I have 4 kids, too (3 are triplets)and had difficult pregnancies both times. I have had help on and off since the first 3 were born (I was very sick after they were born and couldn't take care of myself let alone 3 babies!). I know that it is really annoying sometimes to have people in your house, have things put away wrong, plus feel guilty that you aren't doing it all yourself - but really, with these illnesses plus young kids, it is the best gift you can give yourself and your family. I am in a serious flare right now that I can't shake becuase my nanny of 3 years went back to school. I can be a way better mom in the most important ways even with this DD when someone else is taking care of the mundane stuff like laundry, cooking, the housework - your kids won't remember you doing those things as fondly as they will the time you spend with them NOT flaring as badly and irritible and in pain, fatigued and all the other joys that come with these DDs. Also, it puts a lot of pressure and fatigue on your hubby to expect him to do all that on top of a job, worrying about your health and being a good daddy. This doesn't mean he shouldn't help out, only that it is hard to take on too much and the whole family suffers. Get whatever help you can afford, and try to find friends or relatives who can help out every once in a while with grocery shopping or errands. Never turn down any offers of help!! I promise, while it puts things out of your control, and others may not do it quite "your" way, it WILL be worth it.
    Kim
  12. abcanada

    abcanada New Member

    Thank You all soo much for the support. Yes, you're all right! My kids deserve as much of me as they can get. In a strang way I feel very blessed with this illness, as it has helped put things into perspective for me(actually began when I had blood clots to deal with, that scared the pants off of me!) I had a near death experience after the birth of this last one. I just about bled to death alone, at 3:00am, as I somehow was left in the hands of two nurses who didn't have a clue what deadly blood loss meant. I found myself begging for my life and threatening to call 911 if they didn't get me help....now. All this in far worse pain than any of my 4 drugless births. I was frozen in pain. According to my blood work , I had lost approx 2 1/2 litres of blood.... Yes, I do find it hard to trust anyone!!! That turned into somewhat of a rant....regardless, those experiences along with what is affecting me now have really changed the way I view different aspects of life, as well as other people. For that I am greatful!!!!
    Yup, I'm going to get right on it......My mother has offered to pay for this many times. My mom and my sister have been my saviors. They have and continue to help me in any way possible, and too have been frustrated with my health. They have both been there, calling me after each and every appoint, helping me make 'smart drug decisions', taking my kids for sleep overs & other outings. They are both Emerg nurses in a local hospital(Calgary).
    I'm going out to a diner theatre tonight with them to celebrate our birthdays(mine & sister). It has literally been the first time out since last Dec, completely due to my health. Much of the time I don't feel well enough to get groceries, let alone do something like this, but today I felt better than I have in weeks......Here's praying that it lasts. Wishing Everyone Great Health, Laura
  13. boltchik

    boltchik New Member

    Your children are adorable!! Well, I have 3 of my own and I am basically echoing what most have said. Your children are a lot of work (and such a blessing!) at the ages you have now. Some extra help would be so good for you. Plus, when some of the pressure is taken off, you will feel less irritable about being sick and the kids can enjoy mommy more! I know when I am overwhelmed I tend to feel cranky. Right now, I only hire someone to come in once a month for cleaning, to help me catch up. But, if I keep staying sick for long periods of time, I will have them come in more often. Take good care of yourself and those cutie pies! Kim :)