Anyone here with FM who is also a guardian to a relative?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by EllenComstock, Mar 10, 2003.

  1. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Everyone:

    Just wondered if there was anyone here in a similar situation like I am in. I was diagnosed with endometriosis nearly three years ago and with fibromyalgia in July 2002, but I think I have had both of these diseases most of my life. My father passed away five years ago and my mother finally passed away in October 2002 after five years of illness.

    I have two brothers and a sister. Both brothers have mental illness. The oldest is bi-polar, but is married and has two kids. He is in denial about his illness and won't take his medication so he often is not doing well. But that's another story. My sister is very self-centered and has never shown any interest in the brother I am guardian of. She is also dishonest and I caught her in the past stealing my mother's money. We rarely speak to eachother, which is fine with me. I don't want to be around someone who is so negative and dishonest. Fortunately I am the executor of the estate and this will be over soon.

    I have another brother who is two years older than me who has autism and obsessive compulsive disorder. I have become his guardian now, but actually have been for several years since my mother was so ill. When my mother had to go to a nursing home, my husband and I found a good group home not too far away and Jim is doing pretty well there. My brother is very childlike, but is so polite and nice and really enjoys spending time with my husband and I. My other brother takes him places sometimes, too, which is a great help. My sister does nothing. I feel bad that I can't spend more time with him due to my own health problems and working full-time.

    I really love my brother and want to do the best I can for him. I know my parents have counted on me to do this. Of course they never knew how sick I was myself. I just wondered if there was someone else here who is dealing with the same challenges that I am? I got married later in life (at 40-I am 44 now), and have had to make my marriage a priority (as I should) in my life. I am married to a wonderful man who has been very supportive to me in dealing with my illnesses and my family.

    Anyway, I would love to hear from anyone here who is in a similar situation. Thanks.

    Ellen
  2. LeLeHpr

    LeLeHpr New Member

    I have been taking care of my mother n law for over three years. She has dementia. My father n law was diagnosed with a brain tumor unexpectantly, had the surgery to remove it and never woke up. Passes away three months later. BIG SHOCK!! My husbadn is the only child, so we decided to move his mom in with us. SO, we build a handicap accessaible house for her. Then, we sold her house, cars, boat in IN. Her family never calls, or visits. They are worthless. My family is very supportive and at times a lifesaver! My mother in law has now been with us almost three years..I am her mother for lack of a better word..She depends on me for everything. Another bit, my husband and I have only been married for three years...Makes things hard. We have had no freedom, or alone time in four years...But, I love him in spite of it all and my own personal pain. I believe God looks after us all and gives me the strenght and patience to get through each day..And let me tell you...Some days I wish he would just go ahead and rapture us all..LOL I thank God I am willing and still able to care for her...But, when she becomes a danger to herself or us she will have to be put into a skilled nursing facility.

    Hang in there..Our rewards are not in this life but the next :)