My appointment is at 3:30 this afternoon. I'm anxious about this. It's always so hard to start with a new doctor. I have my medical history printed out, my daily meds and my as-needed meds in their own zip top baggies, my supplements in another baggie, and my blood pressure history too, as I have a bad case of "white coat hypertension". I may need a suitcase to bring it all with me! I hate getting on the scale. I KNOW the doc may well look at me, say "lose weight", and blame it all on my 40 extra pounds. Well, 45 since I stressed out and stopped hormones the end of June. Losing weight is not the cure-all. If it were, why would thin people die of heart disease and other illnesses? I know I'm rambling, just so stressed and anxious about this appointment. I feel like I should be able to manage all this health stuff on my own, not depend on someone else. I can feel my pulse rate increasing and my blood pressure going up as I type this. I don't know when this resistance to doctors started for me, but it is a problem. Maybe because most of them don't know what to do with me and my fibro, and make me feel inadequate because I have an illness they can't treat? Maybe it'll go well, I hope so. This doc was recommended by an aquaintance, who told me that he is open to alternative medicine, and his wife studies herbal medicine. I can live and hope. Thank you all for listening. It helps not to keep all this inside. Peace, Beth.