Are you lonely beyond description?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by 600, Jun 13, 2003.

  1. 600

    600 New Member

    This life of mine,and all the correspondence with psuedo doctors, therapists,family, friends,and loved ones has left me for the past 20 years or so feeling like I am an ALIEN that is not of this planet at all! I don't fit in anywhere at all. Where do you go-who do you see-who do you confide in? Thank god I'm a mechanic, and I can fix this! Paul
  2. billiegail

    billiegail New Member

    so lonely that I just want to die. Death crosses my mind everyday, but I know that is not an option. I know God a plan and I will be able to use this experience to help someone else someday.
    There is a support group in my area and I went to it once, but did not care for it much. You might be lucky to have a real good one in your area. Have you checked around to see if you might have one there. If not, why not start one?
    There are surely other men in your area that have fm and are in need of support.
    Alot of people just don't understand us and some never will. It does not take long for us to feel like outsiders looking in. I feel like an alien as well these days.
    I hope that you can find a good support group or, at least, a group of people that you can count on to be there for you that understand what your going through.
    God bless you
  3. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Paul~~I feel lonely because I don't feel good enough to get out and do things. I work 3 days a week, and after that 3rd day I am so exhausted and in pain that I'm bedridden for the next couple of days. I feel better then, but have no energy to do anything.

    I live in the Beautiful Rocky Mountains in an isolated area where the closest movie theatre, mall, or civilization is two hours across the Mountains. Finances are tight, and I don't have much money to splurge on recreation.

    And the things I used to love to do in this Magnificient Country such as hiking, rowing, mountain climbing, dancing the night away--I can no longer do due to advanced degenerative disc disease with nerve damage and multiple back problems along with FM/CFS, osteoarthritis, psoriatic arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis, and severe asthma.

    And the medications I take for the pain make me feel tired and lethargic. My family lives 1500 miles away as well as my bestfriend. My man of six years has developed a serious gambling habit over the past two years, and I can no longer take the stress & strain of that plus all the checks he bounces from gambling, collectors calling for his unpaid bills, and it has come down to the point that I am going to have to ask him to either get treatment or move out...and that is a heartache and very lonely feeling.

    My closest relationship is with my cats who keep me company as I lay on the bed watching TV and movies I've seen over & over. When I try to do physical things--my back hurts so bad I have to stop, take my meds, and go lay down again. It all gets so frustrating.

    And, I don't bore people I know in general or at work with all my aches & pains because they wouldn't understand anyway, and it is a subject that grows old fast.

    I am not the the woman I used to be who had a passion for life and living, was always doing something, had goals and the drive to go with them. Of all the things I am lonely for....I am most lonely for the person I used to be.

    Where does your loneliness come from?

    Sorry this is such a downer response to your post, but my mate has been gone for a week giving me some time to myself to think things over....and it was tonite over a glass of tears that I decided he and his gambling had to go.

    I wish you happier times. Best Wishes to you, Carol...
  4. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

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  5. kerrymygirl

    kerrymygirl New Member

    A guy I met at hospice who I hated to tell him I thought he had fm, but found out he doe`s. I said I beieve there is 2 formats if you are ill and have surg. etc,get better. People will rally. ( His family left him when he got ill except for wife, she is not dealing well with it.)

    If you are chronically ill, especially 1 that most people do not understand appears there is a whole other format. Right down to the doc`s. He worked in human resources and knows why alot of us are treated the way we are.

    Dr`s after follow what they call Relative Value Units, they actually want you to go away because we are too expensive and they have to prove getting people well. Can have only so many patients that are chronically ill.

    Also we live in a throw away society. That means the elederly, we hide them away, hide street people if a convention comes to town. Ignore chronically ill, we cost too much and just too everything, exhausting for family etc.

    Fair NO, reality yes, I never minded once I lived alone, but I find this a very lonely disorder. Just as you said. Even people who are married. For me that is 1 of the hardest parts because I do not drive much so I am stuck. I never was crazy about the phone, like people contact. Yet, it is my only source of human connection when I am ill.
    Family all far, Best friends far, and my closest people recently died. So right now the lonliness is almost killing me, I need human touch. I have just been so sick.

    So I do sympathize and know what you are saying. I volunteer to help others when I can but lately cannot even be counted on for that. I go day`s and realize I have not said 1 word. EXCEPT OUCH!!!!!

    Lots Of Hugggsssss