Argh! So angry, and on my first anniversary!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lisadot, Oct 2, 2005.

  1. lisadot

    lisadot New Member

    This is so frustrating, and I can't believe I am posting it! About a month ago, my jerky brother had me watch my niece and nephew, all while my SIL had gastric bypass surgery. Anyhow, my niece had a bad rash on her neck, and I asked my brother about it. He said, oh, we don't know, the doc said to watch it.

    Turns out, she had head lice. Did my brother bother to tell me?! NO! Of course not. I doubt he ever even asked the doctor what the problem was!I went for a while, because it was on the tail end of my own urinary tract infection, followed by a yeast infection, thinking I'd developed yet another allergy to an antibiotic. The doc didn't see anything, and prescribed a dermatitis cream, and said he was sorry this happened, because now my antibiotics choices were further lessened. The jerky rheumy I'd seen during this time was going to give me another shot of steroids, because he said my doc was mistreating me with a crummy cream! Thank goodness I didn't let him do that! And after the first treatment, I treated a second time, and felt uncomfortable. I went to a dermatologist. He saw nothing, but gave me an expensive mousse for my scalp, just to calm to sensitivity.

    If it weren't for my mother, I'd have gone even further in terms of discomfort, because she was the one who told me about my niece - way after the fact. I looked myself, after both my dear husband checked, followed my my teenage daughter. Nobody but me found anything, and nobody else in the house seems to be affected. What a mess it was to deal with AND I awakened this morning STILL with the same problem! I cried and cried. All while my everpatient husband searched. I hate this! And I hate my brother's behavior. Sure he said, oh yeah, sorry, I meant to call you. [ ] I can't believe he did that to me! So rude!

    This morning I awakened, and my neck was so irritated, and my head itched. I saw a few redish swelling on my neck. Damn, I'd just washed and dried my hair last night, as we went out to celebrate - it takes over an hour! I looked in a mirror this morning, and thought OMG, not again! My husband checked, and saw what I feared! They were still there! So, I've just treated myself a THIRD time, but I'm afraid. Afraid they will come back. I don't care if my brother was taking care of his recuperating wife. He still had an obligation to tell me. His kids slept on my furniture, and I took them to dinner and a movie. I had my niece in my lap! The damn bugs just crawled into my hair lickety split!

    If you knew me, you'd know I have enough hair for 3 people. I am not exaggerating. I am so tired. Tired of cleaning sheets, clothes, my car interior, furniture, vaccuuming, all of it. My body aches, but I have no choice but to clean. Spray poison on my furniture, etc.

    I worry my husband, albeit trying SOOOO hard, will miss the damn nits. And I am so tired anyhow. This damn fibro wears me out, just on it's own. I'm tired of crying, and tired of feeling like crap.

    Tonight is supposed to be a holiday dinner at my mother's place. I don't even want to go. My brother and his family will be there. I can't bear to see him without screaming at him. Maybe that sounds immature, but he's always been a thorn in my side. He stole from me when he was a teenager, constantly. He may love his kids, but he sure as hell doesn't have a clue how to take care of them. They have no health insurance, and my niece has tissue stuffed in her shoes so they fit. But, wouldn't you know when he dropped off the kids at my house weeks ago, he wanted to leave them with their own personal DVD players. Huh?! No basics, but we have personal portable DVD players. My niece must have had those bugs in her hair for a good month, given the horrible rash she had.

    I am so depressed!I never experienced this when my kids were little.

    Thanks all for listening, and providing a shoulder to cry on :'(

  2. cjcookie

    cjcookie New Member

    That was unbelievably awful of him!

  3. deelite127

    deelite127 New Member

    10 years ago my sister brought her daughter over for me to watch. My neice was just a baby at the time & my children were 4,6, & 9. I noticed a rash on my neice & my sister said the doctor said it was nothing. Well that 1 night turned into a week of babysitting & soon enough we all started scratching.

    Well it turns out my sister never took the baby to the doctor. I wound up taking her to my kids pediatrician & what did she have? SCABIES!!. I could have strangled her. The only one that didn't get infected was DH. I spent weeks disenfecting my house & treating my family.

    So i know how you feel. I didn't talk to her for quite awhile afterwards because if i did i would have definetly lost my cool & kickeed her [ ]

    So sorry you had to go thru that

  4. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I would like to give your brother a big kick in the hind end!!!!!

    First of all, not treating his children for head lice that they have had for a month is child neglect!!!!!

    He should have reported it to their school teacher (you should now, since he won't), notified all their friends' parents, and should have told YOU when he asked you to care for them.

    When my kids were in elementary school, we were always on the looked out for head lice--because they only had hooks to put their coats and hats on in the winter and there were 2 or 3 coats on each hook. We had a "head check" each night before their baths!!

    My children were always no neat and clean and perfectly dressed for school. When my middle daughter, who also had a thick head of hair and it was really long but we made her wear it in a pony tail so it wouldn't be hanging down to catch lice from anyone else, came home with lice, I was absolutely MORTIFIED!!! This was when she was in the 4th grade. I almost cut all of her hair off, but didn't because she cried and begged me no to.

    I know exactly what you have to go through to clean everything in the whole house and car!! I had to take 2 days of vacation from work to stay home to get rid of them!

    I was so angry at all those little kids in her school classroom, even though they couldn't help it!

    Your brother was so IRRESPONSIBLE by no telling you!! And, all the doctors you went to and meds you bought!! Then the thoughts of having lice in my hair just makes me nauseated!!

    OMG, at your family get-together, I think I would take him outside and beat him with a broom or something worse!!!!! There was absolutely no excuse for him not telling you about it and exposing you and your house to lice.

    There is no excuse for him to not treat his children!!!! Think of the poor misery they were in!!! This is just awful!!! If he could afford personal DVD players for them, he can afford a bottle of RID lice shampoo!!! If not, he could have taken them to the local city or county health department where they pass out treatment FREE!!!!!

    Also, shame on his wife!!!! She should have taken care of it BEFORE her surgery--especially if the little girl's scalp and neck were in that bad of shape!!

    It makes me so angry that I would almost recommend that you call Social Services on them for child neglect!!!

    You should call the local health department and advise them that your niece and nephew have them really bad; therefore, they will notify their school of the problem and send a couple nurses out to that school for "head checks" on all grades in that school.

    The is the was it is done in our state. I know because my husband is the Administrator of our local health department!!

    I feel so badly for what he put you through! I hope you have gotten straightened up by now.

    Here's another swift kick in the rear for your brother (and his wife, even if she did just have surgery)!


    P.S. Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    [This Message was Edited on 10/02/2005]
  5. lisadot

    lisadot New Member

    Thanks all for your support. I will keep the Ivory as a back up idea, because I'm sick of putting poison on my head. I was told animals can't catch lice. Hmmm...

    My brother ended up being informed by the school of the "problem" - according to my mother. So the kids lost out on days of education. Here my brother is with an IQ of over 145, but common sense of 0! Donchta think he could have put two and two together??? Don't you think he might have looked through her hair??? I sure as hell would have! Yeah, I'm a nurse, but I still think I'd have looked.

    And, yes, the fact that my SIL had to notice her child was scratching long BEFORE her ELECTIVE surgery, really ticks me off! Ugh, did I have to write TICK?!

    My brother has very little character, and same with his wife. His wife is covered with jewelry, and those kids (5 in two weeks and just 7) have more STUFF in their 2 bedroom apt than I can believe. My niece has lots of gold pierced earrings! ZERO priorities. They still sleep on their crib mattresses. Outrageous!

    It's not so much that they caught lice from someone in my niece's preschool class, it's the NOT TELLING me (I know lice aren't predujice, and affect all whether poor, affluent, or in between). Just leaving her in my care, when they KNEW something was wrong. Hell, they should have cancelled the ELECTIVE surgery. But that's typical of them. Lots of times they have asked for me or my teenage daughter to watch the kids when one kids is sick. Why? Well, last time my SIL just HAD to go to Fry's for a new electronic must have. B*tch!

    In the winter they leave to her homeland - Australia. I'm sorry Australia, you can have them. I'm sick of being used. I've had it. My niece has given my nephew several concussions, because of her temper, and hitting him with things. And for awhile she was biting others and then herself - I think that's stopped. My nephew cries at the drop of a hat (hell, so do I now!)and he's extremely smart. So is my niece, I can tell. I've suggested counseling repeatedly. Funny how my brother tells me there's no money for it,yet all these fancy gadgets are at their place.

    I painted the kids' nursery, and handmade them clothes. My SIL chose to keep me away from them when they were young - as a control thing. At that time stating "the doctor" didn't want anyone else around them until they were 1. No wonder I could never seem to want to step into my niece's and nephew's lives. I was always slammed for trying. They are users. Ungrateful, materialistic, immature adolescent adults! They were never there for me when I was going through hell with my mentally ill exhusband.

    Anyhow, now I have to decide whether or not to attend the family dinner tonight. I don't want to let down my daughter, who has worked so hard to help her grandma cook. Wouldn't be right. I think I may take my plate to the patio outside, and ask my own family and mother to join us out there. My brother can sit with his own family wherever the hell her wants, as long as it's not near me.

    Lord knows I'd love to call Child Protective Services. It's a Catch-22. I know they love their kids, even if they are crappy parents, but would it make it worse for the kids - they're already messed up children. I can't tolerate the stress level. They are fed, clothes, bathed (HA!), and not beaten. If anything, they aren't disciplined at all - and I don't mean physically. Ugh!

    Well, I better go. I want my husband to comb through my head yet again. I hate this!!!! It's so creeepy crawly icky. If you've never experienced it, be thankful!It does a real head trip on you - litterally, and figuratively.


  6. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    cheerleader for your brother, but you did say a couple of doctors missed them on you. Maybe he or his wife didn't see them or suspect that. I'm sorry it caused YOU and your kids so much unnecessary trouble though!! My daughter had hair to her waist in Kindergarten when there was an outbreak at school. They sent home a letter and I drove her crazy checking her for weeks. She never did get them but it was just luck because lots of kids did. I hope you get it cleared up soon. Sounds like your brother has a lot of life issues, this probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but maybe pray for him if you do that or
    just try to be forgiving as you can in spite of things. Sounds like he needs it. Hugs, Bambi
  7. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    to hear about your trials. I would definitely not report them to the authorities because those kids would land at your house again and who knows what little gifts they might show up with next time.

    It is so hard to just wash my hair. I'm exhausted and need to rest for hours afterward. How awful to have to go to all that extra trouble.

    I just hope they're gone. I've been doing some sympathy scratching at my head while reading your post!

    Let go of your anger. Your brother won't change and you need to have peace around you. Take care, Lisadot.

    Happy Anniversary! I'm thinking you might want to redo this anniversary in a week or two without the nit combing!

    Take care!

  8. elliespad

    elliespad Member

    the two common lice treatments use a combination of malathione, pyrethrins, perpethrins, lindane and other insecticides which can dammage the nervous system and immune systems. (Sound familiar?)

    There are MANY non-toxic options such as Lice R Gone (available at safesolutionsinc) or rememdies listed on Dr. Mercolas website, such as Essential Oil of Lippa multiflora.

    Please take a few minutes to read by bio.
  9. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    Sorry to hear about all the problems with those dreaded bugs. I had never heard of them till I moved back to Iowa. First year back my two girls got them from school. We had a horendance time getting rid of them. I hate the chemicals that you have to spray all over your house and put in your hair. Anyways, I was doing some reachsearch on the computer about treament for them and found out that one of the best treatments is Tea Tree Oil. You can find it in any vitiamn place and I have even found it in a couple of grocery stores. Add it to your shampoo and conditioner (if you use conditioner) and wash your hair like that. Just leave it in your hair while you shower and rinse after everything else. You can also add some to a spray bottle of water and spray you house with it. Apperently it is good for dandruff and other head irrations. Hope this helped a little.....Sue
  10. Bailey-smom

    Bailey-smom New Member

    Last year my 3rd grader came home from school with them. We would get rid of them & she would get them again – we dealt with them 3-4 times as well. The only thing that worked for us, she has got thick hair as well, was to get the rid combs. It is a set of 2 combs – one is short, one is long – we shampooed and then used the combs every other day for 6 days (3X total).

    Good luck!


  11. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    old and never have had lice, nor has my son or exhusband. but i have ahd some friends in the past get lice or thier children. i was told told to use vaseline on your hair. and leave it on over night. that was so supposed to work the best and save you monye. just a tip a tip to try.

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