Asked For Psychic Readings. Two Got Very Close.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by joeb7th, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    I had asked anyone on this board if they could do a psychic reading of me to perhaps find out exactly what may be making me feel so sick. While I didn't expect anyone to hit that specific nail on the head, remarkably, I am taken back by two postings that hit on other things. One was by Cindy, the other by FMsoldier.

    Here is Cindy's reading.


    diagnose me... 10/26/06 09:40 PM


    First of all Joe I think you have the right idea of going down to the water and resting your body, mind and spirit. You instinctly know what you need. By doing this you are being still and listening to that quiet voice have those answers within you.... I believe there is so much a mind body connection with you...

    You are a very sensitve person that picks up much of the energy of things around you, that is why you go down to your special place by the water. This helps clean you, water is very soothing, water has to do with emotions like tears...this is how you let go...this is very good...

    "I am feeling sadness around you...such a heavy heart,"...." this is weird, I see faded jeans with holes in the knees, the jeans are almost white or bleached....this is what I saw when I read your post.. "

    I would suggest getting a book by Caroline Myss....The Creation of Health....

    We are all on this journey of self awareness and pain can make you sit up and take notice....listen to your body

    It sounds so beautiful where you live water, pines...ahhh that sounds so much like the place I go to in my mind, where my dream house is...two story all wood, big huge fireplace for the cold winter nights, and the view from the house in winter is just awsome with the pines covered with a dusting of snow...just a dream...but I can go there anytime I want.

    Well, I wrote a book..sorry...
    I hope you find your answers

    My response back to Cindy.

    Cindy, Your Post Remarkable. 10/28/06 12:41 PM

    Cindy, while I posted my original message and for the last 4 days, I have been wearing old, faded blue jeans.
    Not quite holes in the knees, but old jeans, very faded, white-blue. Not new or dark blue...just old faded jeans.

    I do not know what the odds are of you correctly saying this description of what I have been wearing ( and I wear these jeans almost all the time ) considering what else a 55 year old guy would wear...but this is exactly what I have been wearing.

    I am also very connected to the water having been raised next to it my entire life.

    And yes, there is a powerful and deep sadness all around me that I have carried for a long, long time. Beyond and before this illness.

    This has been with me since childhood. I had a childhood starting around 8 years old that was one of living in terror every day. My step father was one of the most violent alcoholics between L.A. and San Francisco. Every day and especially at night you feared for your life. Chased out of house so many times at midnight, no place to go ( that is a heart crushing experience ), mother beaten constantly, cops never did much but were called by neighbors hearing screams ( Mother unable to leave, older by then, more afraid of going back on welfare than dying at this guys hands ) years and years of this. Too young to leave until mid-teens.

    Only describing this because it explains the dark, deep sadness that I cannot shake. Even at my age. The feeling of helplessness and fear and sadness at that early age was so powerful. No one to turn to. No one would do anything to stop this. No one would offer to help us get away with funds or anything. Cryng in elementary school during day, exhausted with fear. Unable to relax, fear constant, still have dreams about this time. Incredibly, I learned to live with this and still marry , have a family, work and be sociable...One can act happy and be darn good at it. And at times, you still can be happy ( kids being born, being able to raise them, etc ) but often people say I have the saddest look in my eyes.

    Now that I have this torturous illness, it seems I am less able to contain all this.. So your description of my having feelings of sadness around me.... said to me that you saw more than just the feelings surrounding this illness. You are very very right about this. I used to go down to the waters edge as a child and it seemed to be the only place that would calm me somewhat. Sorry for seemingly so self-obsessed and talking about my very personal pain....but your post hit me. You are what I mentioned in my original post. An intuitive.

    Maybe the jeans thing and sadness things were luck...but the absense of any other descriptions gives me more reasons to believe you actually can mentally see and feel the truth about me more than guessing. I am very working class poor , but I was raised in an area "close" to a very wealthy one.

    Interesting childhood story; one day as maybe a 13, 14 year old I was wandering the streets here in town at dusk, overwhelmed with dispair at not being able to go back to this house of horrors but with no where else to go. At one point....please belive me here. I am not embellishing this story...
    I sat down on a curb next to an intersection. I was so overwhelmed with this dispair I began to have tears in my eyes. At this time a limosine pulled up next to me and had to stop for the red light a few cars ahead of it. In the porthole window of the back seat of this limo was a face of an older man who was staring at me as I cried. The man had a pipe in his mouth and hand. He has a hat on. It was Bing Crosby who lived in near by Pebble Beach.

    I stared back at him too as even I at that age recognized such a famous face. What I recall was that there was absolutely no emotion in his gaze. He looked at me for maybe 20-30 seconds? Not one bit of feeling. I didnt think of this at that time. But as I walked home later and for the rest of my life I was able to reflect on his cold stare. But it didn't make much difference to me. It seemed the entire world didn't care. They didn't have places back in the early to mid-sixties that I recall that said " here. here is a safe place for you to go to. "

    I know there are angels on earth...but sometimes you go a long time before you run into them. Who knows, maybe I have been watched over all my life and didn't know considering how much I have been given with a family and good wife and all. But, you aren't given this without still be allowed to feel so sad in your heart for so long that you feel like crying it is so heavy and continuous...and you are constantly exhausted by this weight. That part isn't lifed very much. But, so many people in this world have had it worse. I know this. I am luckier than they. But this does explain that aura you described I think.

  2. Kimba4318

    Kimba4318 New Member

    Just bumping for you and am amazed by this. I am also very saddened by your childhood experience. So sorry.

    You are a very good writer... DO you do something with writing?? I can picture every moment (good and bad) that you write about.

    Sending Hugs your way and hoping the clouds will lift and some sun will shine on your sadness.

  3. tlayne

    tlayne Member

    I have very little energy, but after reading your post I had to reply. Please forgive me if I don't make much sence, as I haven't lately.

    I am not phychic, only a christian that loves Jesus and all he stands for. As I read your story I hurt for the little boy in you, and if I could reach you I would give you a hug.

    I wish that I could change your story, and send someone that lonely and desparate day to reach out to you. I can't, but let me tell you what you have done for me.

    We recently moved to a new town. Myself and my husband have adopted our grandson, and we are giving him safety, love, security, and stability that he so deserves. With our new move we have also gained a little neighbor boy.

    This little boy has two parents and a few (not sure how many) much older siblings. He is on his own much of the time. As a matter of fact our grandson has gotten himself into trouble a few times, as the two of them have taken off without letting me know of their whereabouts.

    On one such day I scanned the neighborhood for at least an hour looking for them. I looked in canals, alleys, drove by houses while wondering if some crazy had them inside doing unspeakable things to them. As the minutes passed the more franic I became. When I did find them, safe and sound, I wasn't sure if I wanted to beat them or hug them!

    This little boy has been in our home more than his own. I have to send him home when it gets dusk so that he will be safe inside before dark. His parents have no idea where he is at. many times I will have him call home to let them know that he is here, and noone answers the phone.

    I have been very ill the last 7 months. Even to the point that myself and my husband had the talk about what would happen to our grandson if I should die. I am only going to be...shhh, don't tell anyone, 45 yrs old. Too young for this talk.

    If you can imagine, these two boys together get very rowdy. There are times when I think I don't have the energy for one let alone two.

    Last week it was my grandson's birthday. He went hunting with the hubby, so I took this little boy and my granddaughter shopping and out to lunch. While shopping we ran into a lady that used to be his neighbor. She stopped to talk with us, and relayed to me that he used to be at her house all the time until she moved. She also told me that when he was two he was found 'uptown' by himself. So apparently this lack of supervision and attention has been a longstanding issue.

    The reason for this long story is to tell you that your story touched me. I can't do anything to change your story, but in your honor I will do everything that I can to change this little boy's story. When we move from this neighborhood I will make sure that he is with us more than he is not. I am sure his parents will not mind. May you feel this gentle hug that I am sending you. Hugs, Tam

    P.S. Have you thought about being a writer? You told your story so vividly. I could vision your pain.

  4. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    hi you sure know how to write .You touch my heart with your story.

    I feel your loneliness as a young boy.You must have brown eyes?My younger brother has very sad eyes that are big beautiful brown eyes that will tell his story in a glance.
    You are a very caring person to share such personal stories .I to send you hugs.You are among friends .

    When you meditate try to relax in a quite place and see that little boy in your head. Now see a loving angel to the left side of you and the little boy on your right side .Think about what was and encourage the little boy to move into the arms of the angel and let all those bad memories go .You are safe now.The past is the past and you survived in the arms of an angel.

    It is very healing to let go of the past and move forward .
    When we remember ourselves alone with no one to help . now we know our Angels must have been there because we survived.((((((Hugs)))))) my friend .You will be able to wake into a new life you have control of. Your Angels are always there.Today I even send you one of mine.I saw her when I had my breakdown .I'll tell you my story one Day.God Bless and keep you today and forevermore.
    carebelle AKA ANN
  5. joeb7th

    joeb7th New Member

    Yes, brown eyes...very big as child, wrap arounds, wide set.
    Almost alien big, but they have gotten smaller with age. Still decent size though.

    When I share these stories. I am sharing them for all because so many children in this country and elsewhwere have suffered incredibly frightening lonely pain like this.

    Imagine these children in Africa in war torn dear be orphaned in that way and to maybe have to fend and then just die by yourself in a wild land like that. Makes so many other stories pale.
    I do not forget stories like that...just almost can't handle carrying that much shared pain trying to feel for them. But still, child abuse in this country can be as bad. Children beaten to death by their own parents or their parents boyfriends...dear God.

    But this relativity thing doesn't work with a child. To tell a young child they shouldn't cry or be fearful and sad because there are worse cases going on...doesn't work. A frightened, traumatized, abused child hasn't the capacity to understand anything more than his or her own pain at that age.

    To decide to care about a neighbors child as much as your actually being an angel on earth.

    I had several friends whose parents would let me stay the night mnay times and I think they knew why I would hang around too long at their houses. Maybe 10 % of the parents that I knew did this.

    AND TO THIS DAY, I THANK THEM. I HAVE SENT CHRISTMAS CARDS THANKING THEM, I have thanked them dozens of times...they did not know how I felt like I was in heaven being able to sleep over in their safe homes and to be able to be around people just doing normal things other than drunk, cussing, threatening and wild eyed crazy things.

    I really have done this. Maybe 3 parents, now in their 70's and even 80's. I have done favors for them over the years, sent them mothers day cards. Kids do remember your kindness. They really do.

    This compassion and understanding flow right into this often scary and always exhausting and spirit draining illness thing we all have here. As adults, we are sharing what we can, trying to say the kindest words and words of encouragement and hope and even advice. This is a warm. loving, Godly place...a sanctuary. After being rejected and talked down to by an unbelieving physician I find myself clicking on this site to balance out that heart wrenching experience. Fpr this I thank you all, I commend you all.

  6. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    Its been a long time since I have felt a person with so much compassion Joeb You are a good man and I am sure those people who you have continued to remember on holidays have and will keep a special place in their hearts for you.

    I was wondering do you ever try your hand at any type of Art for expression? You feel so deeply your writings are so good . Maybe trying a project with some type of Art ,painting ,sculpture or even scrap booking .I bet you could do some wonderful things. This could give you a way to deal with pain both physical and emotional. Other people may also feel your emotions threw your work.others can find healing threw your creations.

    I just feel you have sooooo much to offer others that also have your experiences.

    you are always in my prayers my new found friend.I hope you have a creative day today.
    [This Message was Edited on 10/30/2006]
  7. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

  8. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Did you get diagnosed with PTSD? As time passes and it is not dealth with (counseling, therapy, etc)it often mainfests with physical symptoms like cognitive fog, muscle weakness, adrenal fatigue, sleep problems (no deep sleep, etc). many with longstanding PTSD are found to develop CFS and/or FM.

  9. lptopcat

    lptopcat New Member

    I am soooo sorry you had to go thru this as a child. I, too, am the child of an alchoholic, mean drunk. I spent as much time out of the house as possible, too.

    Your experience was much worse than mine though.

    Your writing is incredible. As others have said, I could literaly feel your fear and got goose bumps.

    I wish you happiness and fear free days from here on out. You surely deserve it.

    Please, take care of yourself and your family.

    Think about what you have now...a wonderful wife and chilren of your own, you are already BLESSED!!!


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