Assertive Behavior How to say NO

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by rockgor, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Just read "The Book of NO" by Susan Newman. Good book to encourage setting limits; stop being a people pleaser.

    An older, similar book that I found helpful is "When I Say NO I Feel Guilty" by Manual Smith.

  2. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    [This Message was Edited on 04/02/2007]
  3. Rafiki

    Rafiki New Member

    I haven't read these books but I do think that we, as a community, have real need of advice as to how to set boundaries!

    Trust clever Rock to come up with this. Thank you!

    And, no. Well now, I feel fine!

    Peace and good health to you,
  4. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Some Years ago I read a Book called "Codependent no More" And that opened my eyes to alot of stuff!!,,,,But Yes there was a chapter in the book called "what part of" No" don't you understand?",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I Thought that was really Clever! Anyway it's an eye opener when you finally do learn how to say NO! It's Hard sometimes but after awhile people Know where they stand with you!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,S
    [This Message was Edited on 04/03/2007]
  5. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    and getting toxic people out of my life were two of the best things I ever did for myself.

    Unlike meds and therapy, they don't cost a lot either. And after you do it a couple times, it's so rewarding that it becomes easy.

  6. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i have so many more books i have been told to is called the power of now...

  7. morningsonshine

    morningsonshine New Member

    Stress is a biggy! I think that's what's set me back so hard this month.
    The last day of Feb. with my Grandmother's death, and then a couple very stressful confrontations with my husband, all at the same time.
    And the weekly drive to another town for eye therapy for my son.
  8. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    I'm afraid I'm guilty of saying No too much, I'm quite assertive already.

    However, my daughter is a complete yes-aholic, so I'm going to go out and buy this book for her. She's already read codependent no more, and it helped quite a bit.

    Thanks for the tip.
  9. sisland

    sisland New Member

    Thanks for reminding me of the right title of that Book! i thought i might have it wrong,,, but couldn't Remember for sure!,,,,,,,,,,,S
    [This Message was Edited on 04/03/2007]
  10. Fmandy

    Fmandy New Member

    I was never good at saying NO to friends or family. Recently I did. We made new friends who have many birds (a business). The lady showed me a pic of an "outside" bird house she had built, but was stolen from her back yard.

    My wife said "oh Andy can do this easily". I said yes, if I ever felt like it. The nest visit the husband of this bird lady handed me a $140 gift certificate from Lowes to buy the material for the bird house.

    I felt screwed just a tad. So in a few minutes I approached this man in front of his wife and told him that if and when I felt like building the house I would let them know. I gave him the gift card back. After they left, I felt good because I knew it was a setup lol.

    I also turn away door to door solicitors for whatever causes. If you give, they will return in 3 months. Once a year is ok, but not every 3 months.

    No, No I can't do that :}