Assisted Living vs Buying Small Home?!?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ILoveGreen, May 13, 2012.

  1. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    I was Dx'd w/CFS in 6/00 and FM in 7/06. I will be 52 in September. I sold my large home in CO to move back to WI to care for my parents who are now deceased, I want to move back to CO where I have more good days than bad rather than stay here in WI where I have almost forgotten what it feels like to wake up without pain.
    Here's where I need some input: I am wondering if I should consider looking at assisted living communities or a traditional single family home. Some of the newer "assisted living" housing communities are private homes with a common area, which is somewhat appealing to me from a community standpoint, although I think I might be a bit too young for that type of environment.
    Has anyone else had to make this choice or is anyone else comtemplating it?
    Is there anyone out there who might be willing to co-op a home in the Denver metro area or be a roommate?
  2. spacee

    spacee Member

    Is it possible to rent a small place as a "trial"?

    It is such a personal decision. I know that I cannot survive without assistance.
    Have known it since I became ill in 1986.

    But we are each different.

    So that was the reason for my question.

    Oh, I see you ask about co-oping a home or be a roommate. Sounds like you
    have thought it through very well.

  3. 3gs

    3gs New Member

    I live in a small condo. The biggest problem I have is stairs,even with a lift it's getting harder.

    If I was able to be social my vote would be assisted living. Like you said the newer ones are geared towards young thinking people.

    55 was the age to get into the ones I cked out. Look at the big picture and set yourself up for down the road. wish I had. With a home will you be able to do yard work etc?
  4. clementyne

    clementyne New Member

    I think an assisted living or an adult community makes a lot of sense. For one thing you don't have to worry about upkeep & things like that.

    I know a woman who has made that decision & she loves it. She has a nice two bedroom apartment with a kitchen so if she wants to cook she can but there is a dinning room as well as a cafe/coffee shop if she doesn't want to. She can also have meals delivered if she is unwell.

    They also have a lot of activities & trips to get involved with if she wants.

    You are young, I know but I think it could work.

    My husband & I are talking about an adult community at some point. You have a yard & can do what you want with it but they take care of the upkeep, mowing, snow removal etc.

    Good luck with whichever way you decide to go.

  5. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    and logical advice. During my good spells, I enjoy doing yardwork, home maintenance, and even housework. But like many of us, I fall behind during flares and wind up getting "behind the 8-ball" and feeling like I'm never quite able to catch up. That said, the assisted living environment might very well be the best long-term option for me. Plus with a house there is always the possibility of the unexpected expense (new furnace, roof, repairs, windows, etc.) to deal with. I think I'd rather know what my expenses are and be able to travel while I'm able with what I have set aside for "retirement".
    Although I'm not thrilled with the idea of shared walls and the noise that comes with them, I suppose there are trade offs, many of which are good and yet to be realized and appreciated like having a community of caring people around and such.
    Thank you again for your insights.
  6. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    I'm from Denver but now live in a condo in FL. It's the perfect inbetween for me from a large house to assisted living. I also love working outdoors but no longer can keep up a yard. We have gardeners but I am free to work on the flowers and other landscaping around our eight-unit bldg. I don't require assistance but that is always an option if I can no longer keep my condo up. There are times when it's hard to keep up with housework but it's only me so I just wait until I have the energy to work inside. When I have extra energy, I work outside. I don't cook much anymore but don't require meals fixed for me as in assisted living.

    Down here, we have life care facilities. One lives in one's own condo and when it's too much, one moves into assisted living. There is skilled nursing available when it comes to that. All these facilities have activities available for any level of ability. My condo village only offers a pool and tennis court but we do things as friends so there are always social opportunities. We look out for one another and there is always someone available to drive to doctor appts., the store, etc.

    If you value independence, a condo might be right for you. If you need more, assisted living may be the answer. Check out all your options. I'm sure you will find something just right. Good luck.

    Love, Mikie
  7. clementyne

    clementyne New Member

    The places my husband & I have driven by (we're not ready to sell our home quite yet!) are separated by the garages, which are the only parts of the homes that connect - so you have two garages between your home & your neighbors home.

    I understand the whole housework/yard work dilemma! Sometimes all i can really do is keep it presentable - but you better not open any closed doors! Of course my husband wouldn't notice if the house looked like it belonged on an episode of 'Hoarders'!

    I love to work out in the yard but it is getting harder & harder. I made a horrible mistake a couple of years ago, it was getting to much for me & I decided to plant ever green ivy - I have this in my front garden & it looks great all year round. So I go to the garden center & I saw this plant that said it had pretty purple flowers in the spring & green the rest of the time. It also said that it was invasive. I don't know why but @ the time that seemed like a good thing!

    Well, as you can imagine, it IS NOT a good thing! They look like trash plants & I have been fighting them for the last two years. This year, I pulled them all out, put down newspaper & then that black weed barrier stuff & then mulch. If it works out, next year I'm going to get rid of the mulch & put in river stones.

    Wow! I said all that just to say, I understand! Lol! Can you tell, I've only been with toddlers this past week!

    Good luck!
  8. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    I'm now reminded of an elderly friend in CO who lived nearby who had a ground-level condo with a nice little patio in close proximity to a shopping center where owning a car would be optional. That kind of arrangement would be ideal, since yes, I value my independence...and privacy. Looking at how little I drive now, I find it hard to justify the cost of owning a vehicle and am considering living downtown Denver to be closer to more activities and transportation options. It's easy enough to rent a car as needed.
    I really do appreciate all of your input through the fog of it all...
    [This Message was Edited on 05/19/2012]
  9. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Nice neighborhoods in the Denver Metro Area. There really is something for everyone. I remember when Lodo started, before the ballpark was built. You could get a loft for $65K. Would, shoulda, coulda!

    Love, Mikie
  10. ILoveGreen

    ILoveGreen New Member

    I'm having a little trouble getting used to the idea of moving into an environment called "assisted living" when I'm not even 52 yrs old! Even moreso because I sold my lakeside home in the foothills of CO with mountain views to move back to the midwest to care for my elderly parents so THEY would not have to spend the rest of THEIR lives in assisted living! My how the tables turn!
    I guess it's all in how one perceives "home". I think I'll build a spreadsheet to rate the attributes of various places as I look at them and consider what it might be like to live there. This will be a process. I was hoping to keep things simple and avoid moving more than once. At this point I'll be happy just to get back to an arid climate before the hot humid weather comes! I don't think I could bear another summer of migraines.
  11. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Isn't age; it's what you can still do for yourself and what you can't. If you can still cook and clean and get to the doc, why move into expensive assisted living? Or, if you can hire a cleaning service and take a cab, you may do better in a condo. Assisted living apartments are great for people who can't do these things. They usually have a lot of social activities going on too. Many units have small kitchens and a van which takes residents to the store and to doctor appts. Again, good luck to you.

    Love, Mikie