I am new here. I finally had a name put to what is wrong with me. Fibromyalgia. I also think some other things are going on simultaneously, things with objective symptoms the docs can see for themselves. If it weren't for hurting my family I would end my life. Lately I've been trying to think of ways I could do it without hurting anyone or at least a way to lessen the damage it would cause (guilt,stigma,sorrow) to my loved ones. But there just isn't a way to do it without harming others. So, suicide is not an option, I could never do that to my kids especially. I have no support period. My family is tired of me and I'm tired of myself. I was just diagnosed last week after years of trying to find what was wrong with me. I'm 38 years old and I believe my symptoms first started as a teenager. They say Fibromyalgia is not "progressive", but I have gotten progressively worse through the years. I have had mental and emotional problems all my life. My mother was sent to state prison for child neglect when I was 6 yrs old so you know it had to be pretty bad. I'm one of the ones who had depression anxiety, and PTSD before fibromyalgia. My first husband dies of an astrocytoma (brain tumor) after an 8 yr battle. He was an abusive alcoholic but "what kind of wife would leave a husbabd with brain cancer. My middle child was born sick with group B strep and was given a 50% chance of living. He is A-OK now thank god. My second oldest child was diagnosed with leukemia at age 11 in 1998. Thank God she also recovered. over 6 years in remission now. These are just a few of the horrors I've lived through. Right now i'm on state assistance in Ohio in one of the poorest counties and I'm lucky to have a roof over my head. I guess I'm starved for validation and I'm one of the few who actually WANT sympathy. Poor me. I think another 5 days in the psych ward could help. But I doubt it. I could make a mile long list of all the problems I've got going on but this would soon resemble a novel.