Back home, still suffering DETOX.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hermitlady, Feb 14, 2010.

  1. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Well, I went inpt to get off of my pain meds, WHAT A NIGHTMARE!!!

    *I posted this on both the FM and Depr boards for all my buddies to see.

    For the 3 wks before I checked in, I was down to taking 2-10/325 Norco and 5 mg Methadone. I had been on narcotics for 3 yrs without a break and they had just about quit working for me. Knew I had to get off of them. ....................................................................................................

    I was in for 7 days on Suboxone and a few other things to "lessen" the withdrawal symptoms. I had 1 full day of being deathly ill and the rest of the time I was shaking, twitching and weak. I was discharged on the day I took my last dose of Suboxone, thanks to my lousy insur. That med was NASTY, made my mouth raw cuz it's sublingual and tastes like battery acid! EWWWW.

    This is day 11 of being home, and I'm still in bed feeling awful. About 4 days after I came home, the pain increased even more, and I started feeling worse again. That's when the Suboxone started to wear off.

    Yesterday I almost went to the ER cuz I was sooo weak, but I stuck it out and tried to revive myself w extra fluids and food. Feeling a bit better today, but still worried I'll never feel human again.

    I have a Dr appt tomorrow, hope he can give me something to look forward to. I just can't see myself feeling better anytime soon, this has been so difficult and I STILL HAVE PAIN!! I don't know what I'm going to do.

    Also, my husband's father died the day after I came home...great timing huh? We had family here last wkend and next wkend is the funeral w about 40 people coming to our house after the burial. Ha, I'll be lucky if I'm not dead by then too.

    I'm just stuck in bed, I can't stay upright for very long. Scary sick!

    If anyone has any ideas for helping my recovery, I'm all ears. I'm taking a ton of supps, B12 shots, calcium, mag, MSM, D3, NADH, multiple vits, and a little herbal detox tea. Alternating acetominophen and ibuprofen throughout the day, but it's not helping the eternal aching much at all.

    You all have been so supportive in the past, and here I am needing you again! Thanks in advance.

    xoxo Hermit

  2. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I need all the encouragement I can get. How are you doing these days?

    I just managed to get myself in the tub for a soak and now I'm like a limp noodle. Back to bed for Hermit......
  3. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I know exactly what you mean, stress is lowered when the little monsters are away! I was in the same hospital for detox (different wing tho) as my daughter has been in for psych, it was weird. The last time she was in was when she was about 12, it was heartbreaking to say the least...

    I am so miserable right now, I can't tolerate many more days like this. I go to the dr in 2 hrs, I hope he can help me somehow. I just hurt inside and out, and so restless. I don't know if I'm going to be able to make it without those darned meds!
  4. DeborahLynn

    DeborahLynn Member

    So sorry you're having such a hard time with everything happening all at once! I don't think I could handle even 10 people coming over, much less 40, even when I'm not in a crash/flare!

    Some things that helped me when I was getting off Opiate pain meds are: (they seem simple, but they really, really helped)

    Deep breathing exercises, preferably fresh air, to get the toxins out: breathe in for four seconds, hold it for seven, and breathe out for nine.

    Drink plenty of water to flush out the toxins (i.e. the pain meds)

    Hydrotherapy (hot baths if you can tolerate them, with ice for your head, and drinking plenty of water throughout the treatment)

    Sunshine (if you can find any!)

    Good nutrition - lots of fruits and veggies

    And please make sure you get plenty of rest, if possible, with all that you have going on!

    And the most important thing is add your prayers with everything you do.

    If I think of anything else to add, I'll post back here...

    Hermitlady, you're in my prayers! God bless,


  5. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member


    Thx so much for the info. I am not eating much, but trying to force myself. I'm in bed 98% of the time, I just can't stay up long cuz I'm so weak. I know I need to get up and move, so I'm trying to get up more.

    Thankfully my SIL is coming into town Thurs to prepare for the funeral reception. She'll be cleaning and cooking, she's a bundle of energy. Nobody expects me to do anything, but to just take care of me. I'm lucky to have a supportive family, but I just wish someone lived closer to us. My mom and 1 sister are 4 hrs away and my other sisters are even further. But at least I have them to talk to everyday.

    My doctor is the best...he spent 45 minutes talking to my husband and I. He said it would probably be 30-60 days after quitting the meds before my pain receptors "settle down". That sounds like an eternity right now, these days are soooo long. It wouldn't be so bad if I could sleep, but I just can't nap during the day and I'm restless at night.

    Dr said I could increase my Trazodone a bit to help w sleep and he gave me another NSAID to try (Celebrex). He told me nutrition is #1 right now and to get Boost or Ensure drinks to have for an easy "meal". And like you said, fresh fruits and veggies...I need a personal chef! HA.HA.

    I just can't get up the energy to cook and my dh is at work 12 hrs a day. I may go up to my mom's and stay w her for a couple of wks after this funeral stuff is over. Mom will take care of me:)

    Do you mind sharing your experience w pain meds and detox? Just would like to hear from someone who has survived it, you know? I'm getting a referral to a new pain clinic in town that apparently does some alternative pain mgmt techniques. I just hope it's a good place cuz it's the only one on my ins.

    I have to order some new supps, d-ribose, NADH, riboflavin, which Dr suggested today. Wish me luck and thank you again.

    xoxo Hermit
  6. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    Hi Hermitlady. Yikes, you've been through the mill. I can't even imagine. I don't think I have any "medical" type advice to offer, but maybe this will help...

    .....even though you mentioned that your SIL is coming in to town and will help. What you might try is asking your doctor to write you a "prescription" excusing you from having to do anything when all of the relatives are in town. Sort of a "permission slip." That way you can make HIM the bad guy and, hopefully, no one will think less of you for not being able to play hostess.

    And I think spending time with your mom sounds nice. We're never to old to need our moms, are we?!
  7. JLH

    JLH New Member

    First of all, my condolences on the loss of your father-in-law. Yeah, things don't always happen at convenient times, do they?

    I'm sorry you're having such a rough time now. Hopefully, your doc will help you through this since he is a good guy. But it looks as if you might have to sweat it out for 30-60 days if he is correct.

    Can I ask you if you took your pain meds as prescribed, or did you double up on any, etc.

    I only ask this because any time that I have ever talked against taking narcotic pain meds here people have just blasted me -- that they need them and have to have them. They state they you may become "dependent" upon then, and not "addicted" to them. I think those two situations are the same. If you are dependent upon them, when you quit taking them, you are going to go into withdrawals just like you are. They swear to me that it will only happen if you did not take your meds as directed. I disagree, but usually bow out of the conversations to save an argument.

    I really hate to see you go to another pain clinic. There are soooo many pain "clinics" that do nothing but push pills. If that is what they want to do for you, I would decline and find somebody else. You will just end up in the same shape that you are now.

    However, if this new pain doc wants to try something like LESI's (lumbar epidural spinal injections), you might want to try them. They are injections of numbing meds into your lower spine that are supposed to help with your pain. They are in the low spine--beneath your actual spine--so you don't have to worry about any damage/injury to your back. They are given in a series of three injections, quite a few weeks apart. I had them but these did not work for me. I think that they did not work for me because I already had so much back damage and sciatic nerve pain.

    They can also do pain blocks, etc. Just don't agree to any more narcotic pain meds.

    What worries me about the pain clinic is that you said that it is new in town. There are so many that get run out of one town and they go open up shop in another town. I know because the county across the river from where I live is the #2 area in the country for prescribing narcotic pain pills. This area has had over 500 deaths due to overdoses on prescription paid meds in the last year. There have been numerous pain clinics come and go. These doctors are being charged with prescribing too many pills for the same patient--like narcotic pain meds, nerve pills, sleeping pills, etc., and patients mix them altogether and end up overdosing.

    We have a few major hospitals in the area who have pain units in them that perform different procedures, surgeries, etc., to eliminate a person's pain. I would look up a doctor affiliated with a hospital's unit like this first.

    When they are all out of your system, maybe you should try meds like Neurontin or Lyrica, Cymbalta, and a muscle relaxer like Zanaflex. That's what I'm on--all of these except for the Lyrica--I take Neurontin.

    I also use a lot of ice packs at the base of my neck and between my shoulder blades for pain. I will use a heating pad on my low back.

    Ask your doc about the pain med Ultram or Ultracet -- I think that this is a non-narcotic pain med. I am not sure if it has any addictive possibilities or not.

    I will you well on getting the meds out of your system. I'm sure you will feel better soon.

    Take care.
  8. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    HI again,
    Thanks again for being so supportive. To answer a couple of questions, I did take my pain meds as prescribed, never doctor hopped etc. The way the whole situation worked was I started on 5mg Vicodin ~3yrs ago. As my tolerance developed, I ended up at the max # of these per day. Then, was bumped up to 7.5 mg Vicodin (hydrocodone/acet), then to 10/325 Norco, then a yr ago methadone 10mg + 10/325 Norco 2-4 a day.

    After a year on the methadone/norco combo it wasn't working very well, and I didn't want to continue to increase my dosage. I got scared after hearing about all of the celebrity deaths related to ODs on this stuff lately. I was miserable and still taking my max amt. My dh and sisters were all very worried about me and so I decided I needed to clean out my system. I was also taking just 1 mg Ativan, which the hospital also took away from me. I've been treated for depr/anxiety for the last 12 yrs too. Not a fun combo, huh? But very common it seems.

    I agree that I don't want to get back on narcotics thru the pain clinic. Believe me, after all this detox torture, I plan on staying off of them. I'll be on guard and be sure to educate myself on their methods when the time comes to go in there.

    I asked my Dr about Ultracet because I had a few in my cupboard. He said NO, can't take them because they act on the same receptors that the narcotics work on. It would just defeat the purpose of the detox. So, we disposed of them!!

    I'm really not worried about anyone thinking any less of me for not being able to help this wkend. I won't let myself be guilted at all because I KNOW how rotten I feel. Can't fake feeling good when I'm this sick and weak, you know?

    I use heat a lot, heating pad, electric blanket, hot baths. Right now cold is like torture, so no ice packs for me. I also tried Cymbalta and Neurontin and didn't benefit from them. The Neurontin made me a zombie, couldn't function at all. Cymbalta did nothing. I've been on many many other meds other than the narcotics to try and help w pain and energy, too many side effects or they just didn't help at all. I take Prozac and Trazodone and that's all right now.

    We'll see how it goes. I'll keep checking in. Thnx again everyone.

    xoxo Herm

    Oh, I do feel that I was "dependent" on the narcotics. Of course my body grew to need them because it couldn't handle the pain due to the pain receptor chaos. I NEVER got meds illegally or OD'd on them to get high. It was just that I'd always end up at the max dosage eventually due to the tolerance issue. I was in detox at Loma Linda and they supposedly had a "great" Pain Track program in the detox dept. Unfortunately, it was a joke because I only was given one 10 minute massage over the 7 days I was in. It was misrepresented IMO, and the staff was very disorganized and spread too thin. Not very happy w the program for several reasons. My PCP dr was irritated that they had discharged me on the same day I took my last suboxone, no more support was given to me. But part was due to my ins coverage, idiots!!
    [This Message was Edited on 02/16/2010]
  9. pumkinhead

    pumkinhead New Member

    You are in my prayers. I can not even imagine how hard this must be. My pain is so strong. I would need a padded cell. You are a strong person.

  10. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Love your name....I used to call my kids that when they were babies!

    Well, no I am not a strong person. I am a mess, miserable inside and out. I have lost all self respect and confidence due to these dds and how my life has been changed for the worse.

    I feel like a bad mother and wife, a weakling, worthless, never thought I''d have a life like this. But none of us did, it's so unfair.... I have a hard time remembering to appreciate the positive things sometimes.

    I'm scared I'm never going to feel alive again. My dh and kids deserve better than me. I don't know what the future holds, I just try to prepare myself for the worst....but who knows what will happen. My dh has been very understanding, but we have some HUGE stressors in our family (check my profile, kid problems).
    Hopefully we'll make it thru the next year, there are lots of obstacles ahead. Our daughter turns 18 in March and we are going to have to place her in a group home. The violence is unimaginable when she flips out. Just last night I had to pull her off of my husband cuz she was insanely beating and kicking him, just another one of her daily temper tantrums...just a tad bit stressful, exactly what I don't need right now.

    Sorry to keep complaining, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself right now. I need to get my mind off of my misery somehow, it's all I can think of!

    [This Message was Edited on 02/16/2010]
  11. onset1990

    onset1990 Member

    "I'm scared I'm never going to feel alive again."

    You will feel alive again! You will! And you are not alone. You are not a bad person for needing substances to cope with this devastating illness. You are brave to go through detox (!!) and I understand why you would want to. You will survive it and you will feel normal again and you will probably need to find other substances to cope with pain, unless you are lucky enough to have alternate methods that work for you.

    I grew up in the 60s. I have personally witnessed several close friends (and my ex) detox from heroin. It is very, very hard to get to the part when you feel released from narcotics grip, but it will happen. And when it does, you will feel clear. They never went back either.

    I'm not saying this to compare you with drug abusers. I'm saying that unfortunately, there is great stigma associated with self-medication as well as prescribed medication with narcotics. All of the friends I knew that used narcotics were tortured by something emotional.

    We are tortured (or at least I am) by our CFS and we seek relief. But this culture sees this as a "weakness." It's not a weakness, and if we felt more empathy from our friends and family and even our Drs, we would feel such relief. It took me many years to agree to take the xanax I know take to help my panic disorder. I had anxiety well before I got CFS but to my surprise, it also helps my CFS pain and distress. But some Drs will still say to me, "It's addictive you know." No duh! I also take high blood pressure meds. Dependency is not addiction. If I stopped my BP meds, I could die, but I am not addicted to them.

    I also want to say that I have been through the mill emotionally with family members that have mental illness. It seems to have affected most of my family, and my ex's family and my children are not exempt. Somehow we made it through, my kids and I, with professional help and medication for one daughter. We are now stabilized with no big cliffs terrorizing our future just now. It was that professional advice (that I took) that saved us even more misery. I did what was recommended even when it felt horrible as a mother, and it worked for us all. Find a professional you can trust that knows this path. You cannot know until you've survived it.

    You have every right to feel sorry for yourself. CFS is unfair. Your daughter's unwellness is unfair. Your body is trying to cope with more than it can take, all at once. Let your mother help you feel safe. You are lucky to have her. Above all, trust yourself, not society's opinions.

    And if you figure out how to get your mind off the misery of CFS, for more than a few hours at a time, be sure to let me know! Because I am born again into its misery over and over with each relapse. I have decided to submit when it has me in its clenches, and relish the times when I feel better. That's all I can do for now.
    -Sudden onset 1990.
  12. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    You have me in tears, thanks for the great post. I am just so overwhelmed right now. Our daughter has been getting psych meds, special ed, behav mod, etc since she was 4. We are now in a program thru the county that supports the whole family, but she continues to terrorize us...

    I believe my symptoms began due to the extreme stress that came along with this poor child. It is a true love/hate relationship at times, she can be sooo difficult and cannot access any coping skills or processing techniques she has been taught.

    There is a history of mental illness on my fathers side, and unfortunately me and my kids inherited it. I have 3 sisters who never had any problems,, but one niece that has depression.

    I'll be sure and let you know if I have an epiphany in learning to deal with all of this. I just have to take it hour by hour right now.

    There were several young men and women in the hospital w me who were coming of heroin and anything else they could get their hands on. I was a bit shocked at some of their stories. My history paled in comparison! I'm thankful to have been only effected by rx meds and that I never went the illegal route to obtain them. I'm glad to hear your friends made out OK, brave people!

    You have helped me a lot, I will be rereading these posts when I need a lift. Tired now, just showered (so draining) and ate...I wish I could sleep!! See you later, feel better.....H