backslide

Discussion in 'Spirituality/Worship' started by Suzy37, Oct 20, 2006.

  1. Suzy37

    Suzy37 New Member


    I had a pretty good week, enjoy the new job, got my first paycheck and tried to keep my mind on more positive things.
    Today has been tough, my thoughts are dark again and I'm just tired.
    I've been trying to pray, but can't seem to stay focused and my mind wanders around. It makes me feel worse that I can't even stay focused long enough to talk and pray to God.
    I don't want to fall into the dispair I was in a few months ago but not sure if I can stop it if things come to pass.
  2. Asatrump

    Asatrump New Member

    This disease is a constant see -saw of going up and down. I pray you do not feel the way you did a couple months ago, I ask God to lead you and offer you strength for all you must do and face dear.
  3. bandwoman

    bandwoman New Member

    I am lifting you up right now to the Lord that he will be your comforter and your peace and your joy. I pray that He allows you to feel some joy today even if it is in seeing a little bird land on a tree limb. I know this is going to be very very difficult but try stopping when you feel this way and try thanking God for all the things in your life that you can think of. I am lifting you up dear sister.

    Love,
    Nancy
  4. Suzy37

    Suzy37 New Member


    Thank you asatrump and Nancy. I'm trying to keep on the positive end, but at times it's so hard. My husband is having a hard time at work, along with all the other stuff going on there and he doesn't want to tell me about it because he knows I worry and doesn't want me to fall back into my heavy depression. I feel bad that he has to worry about me, so I keep my feelings to myself now.
    For the most part I just want it to be over, I don't care how, I just want something to give and to have some relief. For myself and for my husband. He works so hard and it just seems unfair that he has to go through this and then have to deal with me. (he's wonderful to me by the way)
    I just can't seem to let it go, my worries are always there in my head screaming at me that this will all go wrong. UGH!!!!
    Sorry for rambling on.
  5. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I am so sorry that your week had to end like this. These illnesses of ours is so hard on us. We fight to do what we used to do and when we can't we get frustrated. I know that feeling. All of it can get us so down.

    I ask God to strengthen you. Remember when you can't focus to pray like you want to...that is when we need to lift you up. You do that for us!


    Praying that the depression lifts!

    Love....Mari
  6. Suzy37

    Suzy37 New Member


    Thanks so much, you are so sweet to everyone. I'm trying to keep busy today, but all I really want to do is sleep and that is not good either. In about 10 min I'll get the kids some lunch then get some more laundry done.
    I just want it to stop, I'm tired of worrying about this one issue and wish it was over.
  7. Suzy37

    Suzy37 New Member


    Yesterday was a rough day, one of the worst I've had since I started the meds. I did take time to sit down and read from the bible and pray for a while last night. It felt good to do.
    I so want things to calm down for me and my husband. I just don't know how soon that will happen. I know until it does I will be this way and that gets scary. Some of the thoughts get pretty dark and hard to deal with, so it's a day by day thing.
  8. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    Suzy,God hears you even though you may not know the words.He knows your feeling and good intentions so don't worry so much about that O.K.

    WE are here for you,day or night.All you have to do is call on us like you are now.I will pray forthings to turn out right for you.Linda












  9. Suzy37

    Suzy37 New Member


    Thanks, it helps to know others out there are praying for me. Today was an ok day, hopefully I can get back on track.
  10. Suzy37

    Suzy37 New Member


    I have actually been sleeping better since I started my job. Lots of physical work, so that helps. I wasn't really sleeping at all before I went to the doc and started this job, now I'm doing much better on that end. Thankgoodness!!!