After all this suffering my internist calls today and says "you know you should just try some antidepressants." I am fighting back tears. Can't decide what to feel more sadness or anger. He said "you are a picture of health--perfect labs, no clinical signs for trouble, you are just a good kid and everything will be ok." I was stunned. I haven't seen him since November (been seeing the rheumatologist and infectious disease specialist). Our conversation today was a basic "touch base" type but I can say that it will definitely be our last. Here I am at age 22 hoping to begin my graduate studies after serving as Student Body President at a major university and he thinks I enjoy this? I have willed this? I feel like I have now experienced the rite of passage for those who have a "make believe" illness/virus/bacteria. And it feels horrible.