Bad Day!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by sassykat, Oct 4, 2005.

  1. sassykat

    sassykat New Member

    Does anyone else suffer from guilt when you can't participate in an activity? My husband and I went to a flea market yesterday, and it was one of those days when everything hurt. It was so beautiful outside, just a perfect fall day. Well I made it for a total of about ten minutes before I had to find a picnic table and sit. I sent my husband off looking by himself. I feel so useless and unproductive. And no matter how much he says it's okay, I know he can't possibly understand the discomfort. I'm 51 and he's 47, and I feel so guilty for being so inactive. Sorry for venting.
  2. suzetal

    suzetal New Member

    thats what were here for.

    y DH and I had made plains to go up north for the day.I was in so much pain in the morning I just started to cry.y DH sat by my side and said your in pain we do not need to go.

    We have been no were for 1 yr.together .I was crying not due to pain but he does everything for me and I do nothing for him.

    I told him what was wrong and he said you are still my sunshine and will always be.I worry about you and we need to do what makes you feel better.Theres nothing wrong with me .I'm here for you no matter what .You will get better and then we will be able to do things.

    Do not cry for me my Sunshine I am fine.

    Sue
  3. ellie5320

    ellie5320 New Member

    oh sassy do I ever understand how u feel I have the best husband BUT when he is vaccuming the floors or doing things I feel I should do I have a fit of the guilts and also feel very lazy , as for flea markets no way to exhausting for me so we hardly do anything together now. I guess it goes with the territory.
    linda
  4. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Of course, if you are already having a bad day pain wise, it's not going to help. But if you are having a better day, you would be less likely to overdue riding a scooter than walking for long periods of time. I especially cannot walk on hard surfaces like concrete.

    Before I got my scooter, we went to Greenfield Village (a lot of walking on concrete). I started out fine, but later I was in so much pain I could barely make it back to the car. That was the last time I did that. Live and learn I guess.

    Last year we bought a used scooter that is like new and it has enabled me to go places again with the husband. Of course, I still don't last as long as he does, but at least we can go places. You might think about it. The scooter I have comes apart and fits in our trunk.

    Ellen
  5. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    That is what we are here for! We understand. I know how you feel. I have had to put more and more on my husband now that I can't DO IT ALL!

    But, you know what? I try not to feel too guilty because for many years I did it all and worked full-time too! So I figure it is time for him to step up to the plate and do more, and he is doing it and not complaining at all!

    I am lucky to have him and he has been a big support to me. When I was in my worst pain ever after my hysterectomy that triggered this DD, he actually broke down in tears (I'd never seen him cry before) and said, I don't know what to do to get you out of this pain! At that moment, I knew I had made a wise decision in marrying him years ago!

    My husband has a lot of friends and I encourage him to do stuff that I can't do with his friends. That leaves me with ME time to take care of myself. The stuff we do together is easy on me, like go out to dinner, or visit with my family. It has worked for us in that he doesn't feel deprived, he can still do what he wants, just not with me all the time.

    Anyway sassykat, it sounds like you found a good 'un and if he tells you it's okay, just believe him and don't ever feel like you are useless and unproductive! You aren't, you are a lovely person!

    Take care, Sally
  6. sassykat

    sassykat New Member

    I just wanted to thank everyone for their most welcome responses. I truely wish none of us had to experience this, but I am so grateful to have found this site.
  7. fivesue

    fivesue New Member

    I feel guilty all the time because I'm not who I used to be. However, I know in my head I can't be and never will be what I was before. My husband is so accepting, but that doesn't matter. I feel like I'm a loser...an anchor around his foot.

    But, you know, in my head I know I'm not, and I have to tell myself that feelings aren't necessarily the truth. I am what I am and do what I can do now. Still doesn't stop the guilt, but it does help. Hope you can gain some perspective; it is so hard to live with this DD.

    Take care!
    Rest.
    Sue