Bad melt down today Help

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hermitlady, Sep 23, 2006.

  1. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Well I just lost it today. My mental state is declining back to the dark pit of depression. I am so discouraged and tired of this DD! Sick to death of it!!!

    I told my hub and sister that I don't even know why I wake up every morning. I am just a waste of space. I'm so weak physically and mentally right now.

    Any suggestions on how to survive this rough patch? I'm having terrible thoughts of not being able to make it thru another day. I know I have to tho for my kids' sake, although right now I'm pretty much worthless in the mothering dept.

    Everything hurts and I don't think I have any energy left to fight back. Sorry for the negativity, I just really need to get some feedback. You people here are my support system now, I hope I'm not scaring you away. Just in a really bad stretch here....HELP!
  2. wildwoodlane

    wildwoodlane Member

    I just tuned into the board tonight to see what is going on and see your message pleading for help. Stormyskye promotes a "shake" that she says helps with mood and depression. It is not a quick fix but gives a person hope that something could help. It is basically flaxseed, denatured whey, molasses, almonds, and apples. You can get the recipe and details by searching the posts for "the shake." Stormy has posted this numerous times. Please don't give up on yourself. Take a nice, warm bath. Buy some herbal, sleep-promoting lotion like the zzzz Therapy by Healing Garden (I guess it is O.K. to mention the brand) and rub it on your shoulders, back, and wherever it hurts before you go to bed. Drink lots of water; use headphones and listen to music you like. Are you eating foods you enjoy? Can you have someone give you a massage? These are all helps for me, but I know sometimes it seems like there is nothing under the sun that will make a difference. Does Advil or Tylenol help you at all?

    Hang on, H-Lady, the sun will shine for you again.

    Been there -- wildwoodlane
  3. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    because we all have been there . I know it's hard specially if your kids are still at home.

    I know the pain can be unbearable but tomorrow is another day and things change with this DD as you know as much as the weather. LOL

    You need to take a warm bath and just relax. Do something nice for you .Put on some special music and just meditate.
    Drink some herbal tea .If you can sit outside and breath in fresh air.

    What help me most is really counting my blessings.For all that's wrong with this DD ,I fight to find good things to get even with it.Like I may be in the house a lot but hey I get new PJ and do not have to buy expensive work cloths.LOL

    Its also taught me a lot about myself and what is important about my life. And to not sweat the little things.
    I try even when I have terrible pain days (Ive been having those a lot lately)to do something different everyday.It may be as simple as opening a different window and getting a new view of something outside. Or Trying a new herbal tea.

    You see when I take the time to find something different it gets my mind off of my pain a little while.

    Surf the net go plan a vacation its fun planning even if you do not go.You can see a lot on the net.

    I hope this helps you decide to change something you can that positive thinking it does work sometimes.
    I hope you feel better soon
  4. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    You need to do something for YOU! Something soft, cuddly, and warm. AND, my option is always to go shopping, if I'm feeling up to it!

    That usually breaks me out of a mood, even though I can't stay more than a few minutes-hour. But just getting out of the house, smeeling fresh air, watching the birds, looking at the colors changing. Just enjoying God's creatiions and realizing that there really IS a place for you in this world!! He said not even a sparrow goes unnoticed. How much more does he love YOU??

    Just think about that. And how much you mean to your family. Another thing I do-sounds very egotistical, but it helps-is go through all of my accomplishments. Ok, so I can't do 99% of them now-who cares?? I was able to get through all that then and do more than most people!

    So, now is our time to rest, and take care of US! So, just do it-take care, and things will eventually fall into place. God bless you!! PG
  5. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I just came back cuz I feel like an idiot for posting this. I was going to delete my message, but here you all are willing to help me. I thank you so much...I am a mess and cannot stop crying. Haven't been this down in a loooong time and it scares me.

    I'm gonna go put on my new soft pj's that I bought today and watch a movie with my kids.....and there's a Hershey bar in the frig with my name on it!!

    xxxooo Hermit
  6. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    already looking up CHOCOLATE does it every time LOL

    Glad you already got those PJ's :)

    Tears are a good thing they cleanze the soul ((((HUGS)))))
  7. sfrazier

    sfrazier New Member

    Hermitlady. I can't tell you how much I can relate to you right now. Not even a month ago I was at my councelor telling him that if it weren't for my kids I would not be on this earth anymore. I feel so useless sometimes with them. Three years ago I was a single working mom who would come home from work cook dinner and clean up and then read stories to my kids at bed time. Now I'm home all day long and still can't make a home cooked meal to save my life.

    My kids are my life. I think of all the stuff they went through with me and my ex husband when we were married and then we were divorced and everything after. I may not be the mom that I would like to be but I am a mom that is there for them and if anything were to ever happen to me it would devistate them and that is what keeps me going. Love is a very strong motive to get out of bed and do what you can......SueF


    get together and make a set. I know exactly how you feel, I feel like such a waste of skin. All I ever seem to say to my children lately is calm down, not soo loud, dont jump one me and the best sorry mommy is too tired or not feeling well. I am so sick of it.

    This morning I went to our local flea market for vegetables and I walked around to look at all the stuff and I guess I went to far I thought that I wasn't going to be able to make it to the car.

    My sciatic hurts and It feels like my legs are made of steel. I am so depressed. And the real kick in the head was my husband got tickets to the football game tomorrow and he just said something to the affect of "he thinks we should stay home and clean this nasty house."

    Gee the nasty house didn't interrupt the golf game today? Oh, well I probaly wouldn't be able to get to my seat anyway in all the pain I am in, and I am 3 pills away from being out of pain meds.

    Sorry, I dont have any good answers but at least it's nice to know sometimes that we all are going thry the same feelings I am so glad I found this board.


  9. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I have a cupboardful of meds.....been to every dr in the book over the last 9 yrs. I still have bad days regardless of what drugs I take. I think we all do.

    Thanks for your reply, Hermit
  10. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Oh, and what a lovely set we'd make! LOL

    I finally got a housekeeper cuz my hub used to get so mad at me over the messy house. She comes once a week, it helps so much.

    I took my daughter on a quick shopping trip for jeans this afternoon, thought it might make me feel better, HA. I had to keep sitting down in the store for fear I would pass out. I know the feeling of wondering if you can make it back to the car or not. Thank goodness there was a seat in the dressing room where I could rest while she tried everything on!

    Keep in touch.....xxxooo hermit
  11. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    My kids love me, but don't understand my sickness. They are "special needs" kids and have simple ways of thinking. I try to explain it to them, but I think they believe I just have a cold or something and will get better in a couple of days.

    My daughter is 14 and has the mentality of a 5 yr old in many ways. She's the one who uses up what little energy I have, she's a challenge 24/7! My son mainly has learning disabilities and speech disorders, he's alot easier to deal with. This mom jog is hard work!!

    Good luck to you.....xxxooo Hermit
  12. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I would like to reply to all of you individually, but I am exhausted and have to get to bed. I hope you understand:)

    I'll see you all tomorrow I hope.....xxxooo Hermit
  13. Redwillow

    Redwillow New Member

    Hugs ((((Hermit))))

    Thanks for the nice comments yesterday when I was having a bad day. Sorry you are feeling so rotten.

    I wanted to say hi and that I am thinking of you. Sending lots of hugs.

    I hope you have a good sleep in your new flannel pj's. I sent the good fairies over to clean you house while you are sleeping. Let me know if they did a good job. Don't wear them out completely though as I will need them back soon. LOL

    hugs Marion (Redwillow)
    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2006]
  14. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I felt low yesterday because I had no blood going to my head. I couldn't stand up without getting really weak, I could feel my braincells begging for oxygen. It was saturday, nice weather outside, and I couldnt even bring my kids out for funtime!

    I tried to sit on a chair outside the house with my daughter,and my blood just wasn't pumping thru my system, and I had to keep my head between my palms leaning forwards, or I would faint.

    No encouragement, but sometimes it helps to know we're not alone in our struggles to pull thru a day.

    Many hugs
  15. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    It's another day and I'm still so down. My dh said for me to use my anger to fight my way back to health....I'm just too tired. Just want to sleep my life away.
    Wish me luck, maybe i'll feel better after a nap....I'm still in my new jammies, so I might as well get my money's worth out of them!
    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2006]
  16. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    I was so hoping you were doing better.

    You haven't, to my recollection, said what meds you're taking but I wonder if it's not past time to review them with your doctor. Obviously you need a helping hand here. I remember my old doctor telling me that if I had a broken leg, I wouldn't hesitate to use a crutch and to think of the anti-anxiety med as a crutch. I did that and quit taking it as I felt able.

    Maybe you're already taking something but, honey, it ain't workin. Call your doctor tomorrow. You've struggled with this long enough.

    And here's a (((((hug)))),

    So I post, THEN I read and here you are saying drugs and doctors don't help you. I say don't give up! And here's another (((((hug))))).

    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2006]
  17. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    Thanks for the visit....I am going to call my alt. med doc tomorrow. He at least is very good for me to talk to when I get discouraged. Maybe he'll have some new ideas. Just so discouraged and the depression is really getting bad again; scary.

    xxxooo hermit
  18. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i just wigged out on my son and said some things i regret...well one thing...

    i hate him...i apologized...but he hadn't done his chores for nearly 7 hours...but he could do the video games on the internet...

    i hurt and i am getting depressed as to what i should major in at college...

    i am on ssdi..but read my bio...i am a walking mess at nearly the age of 42 years.

    i would say seek some psychological help if you can..afford it...

  19. hermitlady

    hermitlady Member

    I am on Prozac among other things. I have had terrible bouts of depression over the years, it's just sneaking back in again. I felt a little better today, just rested a lot and tried not to obsess over how lousy I feel.

    I know all about blowing up at the kids and feeling terrible about it afterwards. I just always make a point to explain to them that I'm sick and am sorry I get so grouchy.

    Thanks for the reply...

    xxxooo Hermit
    [This Message was Edited on 09/24/2006]
  20. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    i was glad you posted tonight...i was feeling pretty s--y about what i said...and the huge amount of guilt..depression..and try to reason w/myself...

    i apologized again to him and he said that is ok...he is used to it..he has said it to me...i said i don't think i have ever said that before to him...he said no...but he has to me...a few times..

    the dd makes me angry at times...
    then i have the son's father...80miles away..he is of no help..

    not even to himself...he told me a couple nights ago he likes himself and everything he does...and he hasn't acted on any of the voices he hears...well..sometimes he said..

    bipolar and borderline personality disorder...

    oh my..

    thanks for listening to my reply

    and i hope you are feeling a bit more

    we all go through this some more than others..


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