Bad neighbor, one on every block?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ansel, Oct 4, 2005.

  1. ansel

    ansel New Member

    I had to LOL with the post on help with a neighbor. It seems every where we've lived there has been one person on the block who is alittle "strange". Usually it was another woman who attached themselves to me since my husband worked all the time, well so did I but I usually answered the door (which I don't do anymore). I could give you horror stories on how these people made our lives miserable by being so demanding.

    Now we have a family next door who borrow all the time, food, tools or whatever they need at that exact moment and I mean sometimes this happens every day. It's not like we live out in the middle of nowhere, there are stores all around us. It drives me nuts. I finally told the kids to tell them we don't have whatever it is they want. They can go to the store easier than I can and this is a habit that needs to be broken. I can't afford to feed their family too. They don't go to any of the other neighbors!!

    Then there is this guy across the street who moved in with his ancient mother a couple of months ago. He doesn't work but goes to school a few days a week. He's about the same age as my husband and has decided to become our buddy. Just about everytime we do something outside, here he comes, but the thing is all he does is talk, talk and talk and you can't get a word in egdewise. We can't get anything done. At first my husband stopped whatever he was doing and talked to the guy. But after about 2 hours it got alittle old. Now if he comes over (as we cringe) we just keep on doing whatever or make up an excuse to do something in the house.

    How many of you have had simular problems with people like this and how did you handle it?

  2. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I've had too many 'friendly' neighbours in past who just sucked the life out of me.

    When we moved here I was determined to be as anonymous as possible and that's how I'll stay.

    I dont know what advice to give you, no-one wants to be rude, to hurt someone's feelings but you have to weigh up the affect its having on you and your husband.

    Good luck.

  3. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    Even if you move out to the country and have 4 acres separating you from the neighbors, they will still find a way to antagonize you. We have nutty neighbors from Hadys! Unfortunately, we have an easement across their property to access our property. This is a warning to all- don't EVER buy a piece of property where you have to go across another person's property. Recipe for disaster!

    They call the township for anything they can think of. They are planting all kinds of trees and shrubs on both sides of the driveway. They built a fountain and pool right next to the driveway and actually on the easement itself.

    We're hoping that we will outlive them! They are in their late 60's and unfortunately walk everyday so they are in good shape! The only way I get them back is the fact that I go to work early and drive past their house at 5:30- 6:00 in the morning. Sometimes, if they have bugged us too much my hand just happens to hit the horn when going by! Paybacks are tough! I need to take the muffler off of my car and then drive by!

    So, don't have any advice, but you are not alone in having problem neighbors!

    Take care, Sally
  4. LollieBoo

    LollieBoo New Member

    ... and one that I am just plain afraid of!

    Our house is the catch-all for all of the neighborhood kids- from ages 4-14 (well, and really some older!). Our neighbors are friendly, kind, considerate, watchful of our health and safety, while being respectful of our privacy- it's really nice.

    I was (and technically still am) on our local rescue squad. Our chief lived across the street, was a very busy man and fit in well (it seemed). One afternoon, he confided in me some health issues that were concerning him. As I was suggesting to him that he probably shouldn't drive, we were paged to an awful, awful, very tragic car accident caused by an inattentive driver. My neighbor was terribly struck by this particular accident. He is manic-depressive and decided that he needed to discontinue taking all of his meds... and quit seeing his doctor... and start calling me on a regular basis.

    I did end up very quickly asserting that I thought that those were all inappropriate decisions, which did cause him to quit calling. However- he can often be found hammering on the front of his house, yelling and throwing things out windows... and other assorted disturbing displays (he parked his van in a 4-way intersection in the middle of downtown, got out and sat in the street. Really).

    Now, unfortunately, he was fired from his job, lost his personal business, and was asked to "step down" from the rescue squad. I feel bad for him, because he is ill, suffered a severe traumatic experience (I believe he "put himself in the shoes" of the man who caused the accident we were called to that day.); BUT I am quite afraid of him at this point, because his reactions to these things have shown he has NO boundaries- not just a lack of social graces or personal boundaries... I imagine that potentially one day I may hear that he flipped out and took his own life- or his family's-- or his neighbor's... (!!)really. He is frightening. He has sought counseling and even inpatient psychiatric care (through which I supported him), but he decides that whichever dr he has at a given moment is incompetent and begins again refusing medications.

    I worry for his wife. She is quite meek and he has her working two jobs while he rides his motorcycle around town and hammers on his house.

  5. Empower

    Empower New Member

    Did you ever hear the expression "Good fences make good neighbors?"

    I had a psycho neighbor and finally moved and have been at such peace now, I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my life.

    I am friendly to people in my new neighbor, but I maintain my distance...I don't want any psycho's bothering me again.
  6. another_painful_day

    another_painful_day New Member

    Funny you should bring this up....

    I was happy that the trailer trash nextto us had finally moved. They were dirty people who let their kids run wild and had a dog on a ten foot leash that would cry and bark night and day...this went on for 8 yrs and poof they finally moved to Florida. Someone bought the house and is moving in (slowly because the other people were such slobs they left the house a mess and it need s major fixing up). We saw the people outside andthey introduced themselves. They seemed really nice. In fact the woman I found out actually worked with my siste in law and we were laughing about what a small word this is...after talking to my sister in law (feeling happy that someone decent moved in) she told my hubby and I that "OMG STAY AWAY FROM HER SHE IS PSYCHO AND SICK IN THE HEAD...MAKE SURE YOU DONT TELL HER ANY PERSONAL INFORMATION AND JST AVOIDHER LIKE THE PLAGUE...." well after that I was like OMG so much for getting rid of the other bad we have a psycho living next door to us LMAO. The neighrbors across the street are psycho as well. hey ahve a veyr unruly out of control 15 yr old daughter, mom is divorced and always out leaving the party animal daughter home alone with friends. Cops have been there a million times. and she recently had a confrontation with us because police came to MY house asking questions about her msising daughter and she claimed WE were being "F***ing nosey neighbors " and said that "we should mind our own F***ing business....." and stuck her middle finger up at our fours kids and me driving by us that day. (mind you the cops came prancing up my sidewalk asking my kids and us about her daughter...we didnt ask for it). ANywya, two weeks later a for sale sign went up...Im PRAYING TO GOD whoever buys the house is halfway decent. But as far as getting buddy buddy with anyone...we will continue minding our business here LOL...and aoid any wacko neighbors. I have had neighbors in the past who have sucked the life out of us as well LOL!
  7. libra55

    libra55 New Member

    We had a next door neighbor couple that we were originally quite friendly with, but our friendship went down a slippery slope over the 10 years they lived here.

    Although their house was much larger and more expensive than our tiny ranch, they had no garage. So my husband told them they were welcome to store their lawn equipment in our tool shed and come over and get it whenever they need. Of course they took us up on this offer.

    Several years later they had a garage built, for their two fancy vehicles. That was all they ever put in it. It remained pristine and clean. Meanwhile they continued to store their stuff in our shed.

    As the years rolled by, each of us families produced two children. Their little girl was positively obnoxious, she would only play in her own yard, and our kids had to go over there almost every day and do what SHE (the little princess) wanted. She would not play at our house. The boy was just as awful.

    More years go by and now this couple is storing the outgrown baby equipment and toys of these two children yep you guessed it, IN OUR TOOL SHED. And it's getting very tight on space in there.

    The kicker was when they stored grass seed in an open bag in there, and we had rodents crawling all over the place. That did it. We subsequently had a huge argument, over that and something that had happened with the kids as well, and my husband called and told them they had 24 hrs. to clean all their stuff out of our shed, or it would be thrown away.

    They finally moved, after a tense, nail-biting year of having their house on the market.They went to a new neighborhood, where they were not liked either, and have now left town.

    Every cloud has a silver lining, though, the new family who came to that house have been wonderful friends to us. We took our time and got to know them gradually, and things worked out just fine.

    I sure can sympathize cause I been there.