bad week,need lots of hugs

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by biddys2007, Aug 20, 2007.

  1. biddys2007

    biddys2007 New Member

    hi everyone: i don't get on the board or any board for that matter but really need to have someone listen for a change. my daughter has lupus but she is doing good,my son has sleep apnea and also has the ra factor,both of these children are doing good for now. last monday they rushed our daughter-in-law,who lives in pa,to the hospital,she is 28 has had a partial hysterectomy and now they say she has lots of edometrosis plus a huge mass on her only ovary left,they are checking for cancer and will do surgery sometime this week. that is bad enough but my hubby is an over the road driver,comes home every weekend,he left on monday and called me tuesday to come and get him at the truck stop that is about 30 minutes from us as he was having chest pains,his left harm was numb and he was sick to his stomach. i rushed him to the e.r.we spent all day there with a bunch of tests done and then finally that evening they did a heart catherazation,found nothing wrong,thak the good Lord and he was able to come home by 12:30 wednesday morning. he is 53 with a family history of heart problems.i have ra and a lot of other health problems but survived it all. my daughter was with me,she works full time but left to stay with me. it has been a very long week and as all of you know very stressful on the old bones and nerves. sorry this is so long but every one in the family seems to think i should of handled this situation much better and not been so worried. they don't understand how hard it is for me to even get around at times let alone handle all these things by myself. i'am fortunate to have good neighbors and friends. thank you all for listening and wish all of you the very best week. take care. biddy
  2. zenouchy

    zenouchy Member

    Dearest Biddy,

    So sorry! It's so very frustrating when our family who we count on to understand us and our illness the most just don't "get it" sometimes and wants more out of us than we can give them. It can make things worse because YOU KNOW you did the very best for you family, handled things as well as you possibly could and everyone here at the board understands and knows that too.

    Perhaps if you're more up to it later, and things settle down to a dull roar, you might consider telling your family that you really WERE there for them in every way possible. Your illness creates a situation in which you respond differently to things. Make the discussion a situation in which they aren't put on the defensive but one in which creates the goal of creating more understanding for everyone. Just a thought. If you're already tried this several times and have made no progress, you might not feel like doing it again. It might be worth the effort though.

    I have had "the talk" several times with my husband. I have found that it takes numerous discussions for it to really stick and that it's unfortunately a work in progress. If they haven't experienced our illness, it takes numerous discussions and reminders. (ughh!) It's annoying, isn't it?

    Do not give yourself a hard time or feel guilty. You are doing the very best you can. My sincerest thoughts and prayers to you and your family that you all feel much better very soon. Take good care of you.

    Soft hugs,


  3. biddys2007

    biddys2007 New Member

    my husband and i have been married almost 35 years and he is the greatest. he helps me out with all the house work,,shopping and anything else he can do when he is home. it's his family that isn't very supportive of me and never has been so i'am pretty use to that.our daughter does her best to help me but with her working full time and going back to school for her master's in psychology and having lupus she has her plate full. i'am fortunate to have good friends and neighbors and friends from church. we lived in pa for 23 years and now live in ky for 13 years. my hubby worked in coal mines for 17 years,underground. i appreciate all your advice and just listening to me. our daughter-in-law called and they are going to do her surgery next wednesday so guess they won't be able to come and visit us this year. oh well just so she gets better and look for next year. thank you both for your hugs,prayers and help. take care and have a great evening. talk to you soon i hope. biddy
  4. biddys2007

    biddys2007 New Member

    thank you so much for all your encouragment.hubby doing better,he is back to work and all is well,needs to just take it easy for a few days,so his leg can heal were they put the plug in from the catherazation. he worked for 17 years underground in the mines,had several close calls and i'am glad he no longer does that but driving a big truck is dangerous at times too. our daughter-in-law will have surgery next wednesday,she had a partial hysterectomy and is now going to have the other ovary taken out plus they are going to check for cancer. our daughter,has lupus but works every day with a homeless shelter and is going for her master's degree in psychology,she has her bachelor's in social work and psychology. i don't get on the boards to often hard for me to type at times plus i also have depression and don't feel like being around anyone ,have been doing better though especially since our kids got me the computer and my daughter set the board up for me. it is very hot,dry and humid here in ky. went out to water flowers and tomato plants and that was almost to much,could have watered them from my sweat. take care lindy and thanks again for listening it means a lot to me. biddy