balance? has anyone found it?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ohmy, Jul 28, 2003.

  1. ohmy

    ohmy New Member

    Hello All,
    I'm new and was reading about CFS since that is what I'm diganosed with. I was reading the articles in the library. Balance thats too funny. I see that as unobatinable goal or dream. I have 3 kids ages 11, 10, and 8. On those feel good days which are rare i feel the need to catch up on laundry, actual cook a full meal for my family ect. Or even take the kids out to a movie or the zoo. And yes i do pay for it for the next few days or weeks. How do u find balance and not over do on those feel good days? I took the kids to my sister-in-laws farm for the 4th of July it was and 8 day vacation and i feel still drained from it and my husband has vaction time coming up and I'm not ready for it.Any suggestions on pacing ones self? cause i have no clue on how too.
  2. Mikie

    Mikie Moderator

    Learning to not overdo when we feel better is one of the most difficult things to learn to do. My rule of thumb is to do only 1/3 of what I feel like doing when I am feeling better. This keeps me from riding the roller coaster from overdoing and then paying for it. Unless one learns how to do this, one will continue to have drastic ups and downs.

    Love, Mikie
  3. EZBRUZR

    EZBRUZR New Member

    Hello! I can not say as I relate to children('cept when I have my sisters),but balance is very difficult as is for me!.Some of the suggestions I've read in past posts are Greatto address this!Als I have found Dr.Devin Starlanyls' books offer GREAT timemanagement and LIFESTYLE adjustment technics.I re-read chapter 30 in book 1 frequently!"Homefront" It helps! Peace.lisa :)
  4. Lendi

    Lendi New Member

    I'm learning, but still screw up. I think it just takes time and I suspect our will will overtake our need many times before the ultimate lesson is learned. I'm doing better, but my kids are all grown up so I know that helps a lot. But, sat. my sis in laws came to visit as our spouses were in a night golf tournament. I stayed up with them til 2:00 and could not sleep when they left. *didn't take my restoril so I could stay up* Totally fell apart on sunday, and monday. Today I'm feeling better but who would know that missing a few hrs sleep would cause me to need so many extra? I'm learning and you will too. Just remember that we can't do as much. Maybe on a good day, priorizie and fix a nice dinner, or clean a room but not both. If you build up your energy bank, and spend energy only on the important things, I think you will feel a little better.
  5. JP

    JP New Member

    Dear ohmy,

    I will share something I use. One of my docs gave me this tool. I drove myself into the ground and then some. With this tool, I am finding more balance.

    I have a severe chronic persistant pain condition, along with FMS and some other fun stuff. So, the story of two goes like this: you need to really find numbers on the zero to ten scale to define your immediate pain or whatever symptom you can measure. Mine is pain. I can live with and manage a 5, when my pain goes up by 2, or 7, I do what it takes to get me back to 5. I am learning that I can do many things by using this tool. I make mistakes and ignor my body and my pain goes so far out of control that I try not to kick myself and make it worse. And, most of the time, I am using the story of two as my activity guide.

    Hope you find value in this simple and powerful tool. Take care, Jan
  6. MJJBunny

    MJJBunny New Member

    I think I have found the balance for myself.

    Almost all of the time I am very careful to not overdo. However when I have an opportunity to do something I really love, I am willing to pay the price.

    I have gone on trips that involved snorkeling because it is one of the great pleasures of my life. I know in advance that the price will be high, but for me it is worth it. I may feel horrid for weeks after, but will have the memory of doing something special for me for a long time.

    It is always, has always been a trade off. So much of real life experiences have been give up, that I think I'm entitled to the few really special pleasures I enjoy. To me the trade off is worth it.
  7. bibby

    bibby New Member

    I'm still searching for balance also. I've about come to the conclusion that's it's just darn near impossible. Like JP I can live with a 5 pain and crappy feeling level but when I start heading for a 7 I feel like I'm going to lose it. However, I've figured out just what I can do to maintain a 5 and It's not very much. If I do anything thing at all beyond that ie: having an argument with my husband, going to a family event, going on vacation, just anything beyond my little daily routine I know it's going to send me to 7 or more and I know I will be sick again for days or weeks so I just have to decide if it's worth it so good luck and hugs.
    bibby


  8. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I've been working on keeping my life in balance since I found out what was wrong with me. I'm much better now than I was in the beginning, but I still have those days when I overdo it. Sometimes it is by choice and others it just seems to work out that way.

    One tool that really helped me was an online course. It is sometimes mentioned on this site. You can find it by doing a web search (i.e. google) and look for CFIDS FM self help. New classes are now forming for the fall. They last 8 weeks and after that there are several followup options.

    I highly recommend this to those who are still struggling with finding balance in their lives. I am a volunteer moderator for these classes twice a year.

    Barbara