bawled at the doc. office today,,,

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lenasvn, Mar 9, 2006.

  1. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I have been so fatigued, so tired, so drained, so achy. Of course it's the Arthritis too (got RA diagnosed but doubt the diagnosis, looks more like AS). When I went to my MD today I started bawling when he asked how I was doing. I thought I just tell him as it is, how weak I am all the time, so weak I yesterday couldn't even blow a stupid toy wistle for my daughter! Then I have this arthritis thing going on in my spine, and it's only getting worse. Finally, x-rays was done, even the x-ray nurse reacted on the slope in my c- spine. At least I knew then I didn't imagine things, I have felt the change in my neck, the shape of my spine (thickening) and all the other crap going on with the rest of it. Oh, I got Cymbalta for my neuropathy in my hands/arms. Anyone tried it? Tomorrow I will go in for a fasting blood draw and urine, he will run everything (as often before, it will probably be normal, besides the cholestorol and Rheumatoid factor. DSHS want me to start job training emmediately, fulltime. The way they work is not how the docs work. They want a direct diagnosis, not symptom lists, so they figure I'm "ok". Right. It's just a little too much right now. My sinus infection seem to stay despite the antibiotics, even my eyes hurt when I move them. I am SOO sorry, I am really wining today! I don't think I left such a winy post before. Please forgive me, but I also know that I can really release here, and get a hug in return. Today, I need one.
  2. springwater

    springwater Well-Known Member

    hello there

    i came to this site because of the fatigue i used to feel but i realised its not really CFS i have coz i dont ache all over and all that.

    I have chronic genetically inherited depression; had it all my life, and recently got better (better in that i can fight it with meds and other therapies).

    I read your post and felt your pain - I used to feel as helpless and weepy and overcome with sadness and fatigue.

    I just wanted to let you know about this yoga site or something. Its where an Indian Swami Ramdev teaches yoga breathing techniques and he is so BIG in India; thousands swarm to his workshops. He telecasts his sessions on his own channel Aastha and we see people from as far as America come to share the fact that with the help of his breathing exercises they have been cured or greatly helped of their arthritis; diabetes,blood pressure, spondylitis,depression even tumours have been shrunk just with the help of his exercises. I was wondering maybe you would like to try them out. You know how anything is worth a try when you really want to get better.

    I do his exercises and they have definitely helped up my energy levels and made me more positive and upbeat. I hope you will feel better soon.

    God Bless

  3. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I always was fashinated by yoga and breathing techniques. I will check him out just out of pure curiosity if nothing else. It sounds very interesting, and I do believe in breathing techniques. That is how I worked to release some of my past stuff (PTSD), and I also astral travelled that way (haven't done for a couple of years now). Thanks for the tip and care. many hugs!
  4. Bet2

    Bet2 New Member

    I understand how you feel.

    I cried at my doctor's office last week too. I felt kind of embarrassed, but I just couldn't help it. This DD can get you so down sometime; but I do feel better this week and more determined than ever to take care of myself.

    God Bless You and I hope that you feel better soon and oh
    BIG BIG ((((HUGS)))

  5. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Bless your heart, Beth2!
  6. Sheila1366

    Sheila1366 New Member

    My goodness,Bless your heart.Your poor little body is taking a beating.My heart really goes out to you.

    What you need is chocolate.Call 911 and have them send over the cutest fireman with a box of chocolates.

    Now that would brighten my day.

  7. kalley167

    kalley167 New Member

  8. mme_curie68

    mme_curie68 New Member

    I, too, bawled in the docs office recently.

    I was soooo frustrated when I left the rheumatologist's office with an FM diagnosis to send me back to my psychiatrist because he didn't even want to attempt to treat me with meds himself because I am bipolar.

    If FM makes people think you're crazy, FM and Bipolar make people think you're double-extra crazy.

    On the bright side though, when I saw my psychiatrist she said,"Okay, we're going to start all over again" and proceded to tweak my meds AND even called my Internal Medicine doc and got me Flexeral for my joint and muscle stiffness to take at night so my body can "let it all go" while I'm sleeping.

    It has made a tremendous difference already and I feel much more positive about living a decent life with FM as long as we stay on top of things as a team.

    I, too, was told that yoga and pilates would be helpful. I have been out of practice with the yoga (I was doing it regularly twice a week eight years ago) - but it's gentle and my flexibility within 6 months was unbelievable.
    Plus, it has the added benefit of the deep relaxation and it makes you feel GOOD. I plan on starting up again as soon as I can find a good place.

    I hope you feel better!
    Madame Curie
  9. Adl123

    Adl123 New Member

    Dear Lena,
    I'm so very sorry you are having such a bad time. Take heart. It will get better.

    I started sobbing whan the SS doctor asked me to describe how I felt. No one haad ever asked me that before. I was embarrassed, too, even though I know there was no reason to be.

    I hope things get better soon. I'll be thinking of you.
    Big hugs!!
  10. SherylD

    SherylD Guest

    You don't worry about the whinning!! That is what we are here for...I'm sure I have done my fare share of whinning!!

    And I know I have cried alot at the dr. office...I think just about everytime....Sometimes we just can't take it any more..But you know what...I think it definetly helps to cry and get it all out..

    You need to get some extra rest...Is there any chance you have a little bug on top of everything else...I know just not to long ago I was down and out...I had a touch of something..but it kicked my butt...Luckily I did start to feel better..

    Here is a big (((((HUG))))

    We know exactly how you feel...Just know you are not alone!!

    You take care of yourself!!
  11. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    Of calling for a cute fireman to bring a box of chocolates. Do they still have singing telegrams done by male strippers? Can you call one in and have it delivered to yourself? That would perk me up. I want one that looks like Sean Hannity.
    Lina, I surely hope you get some relief from your pain. I hope you are sleeping all night - that makes a difference in how your body can handle pain. Hugs going out to you.
  12. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    ((((((Lena))))) I hope your spirits start to lift soon.

  13. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    I do feel better today, I had half a bag of cadbury's Chokolate eggs yesterday, and peeking into the documents for the labstaff this morning it looks like I'm heading for a diagnosis of CFS. After all those years, finally. Since I am so new to this doc. and the first one who believes in it, it will take some time to document, exclude other possibilities, etc. His nurse told me over the phone today this is what it looks like. I also had my whole spine x-rayed finally to see what all the nerve dysfunction in my arms is all about, and cervical pain! Yoodl is all I can say! Ah, male stripper, I doono! I think I just want a nice warm arm to fall into and a really good massage!!! Yeah!
  14. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    Ya know, there is a REALLY cute fireman in town, not a really bad idea after all! Man, I wish I could do that!!!!
  15. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    That you are being overwhelmed like this. There was a time even in ancient history when it was recognised that sick people needed rest to recover and special nutrition to gain strength.

    I feel for you and send a hug.

    Love AC
  16. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    This too shall pass. Eventually. I am so sorry you had to cry during your doctor's visit, but if one picture
    is a thousand words, your doctor probably got the point.
    Feel better soon.
  17. ckzim

    ckzim New Member

    after the 7th doctor finally told me what I had...Fibro!

    I sat there and cried and cried...( as I was relieved) he looked at me quite strangly and might want to check into that depression. I agreed, but looking back...for crying out loud that's all part of it.

    Yet he is the doctor who told me to file for SSD, the sooner the better, he did all the paper work I could ever need.

    Including somethings that I didn't know he put in my records.
    Like my crying spell...that kind of took me by surprize.
    There was another doctor who carried a tape recorder with him, talking into it every thing said, and done.

    I cried at his office too, as he was being ...well...really mean calling me a drug additct!
    He said into that recorder thing, that I broke down crying when he mentioned taking away my pain med....he did this all in front of me. It was horrible. When that wasn't the was he was a jerk!

    I then went back to my he is the one who referred me to him, and told him all about it. He just sort of shurgged his shoulders, and said some beleive some dont'.

    Over all...I will never cry in a doctors office again.
    Somehow they see this as not related to Fibro...
    but a person not in control of their emotions..that kind of ticks me off...

    If I well up...and the doctor notices...I tell them it's the photosensitiviey..the artifical lighting...for some reason..they accept that.

    I'm sorry that you had to experience what you did. It's so wrong to treat people that way.


  18. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    I must have cried a river of tears. All it took was that quesion "How are you?". I heard that question so infrequently anywhere else and he was actually interested, and it would just seem SUCH a relief. I also cried back then as my pain wasn't under control yet.

    Now I don't cry very often anymore but when I do it's because for that brief visit I am away from stresses outside of his office, in my life away from him. I try not to let it down and out but some times I've just felt so overwhelmed for awhile and feel safe enough there to let it go.

    Never feel sorry for honest emotion!
  19. lenasvn

    lenasvn New Member

    sincere when he listen to me, and I think it was good what happened. I don't think he realised before the LEVEL of fatigue I deal with on a daily basis. When he lead me to the x-ray place and said bye, he looked be in the eyes like someone who really cares. As a medical professional, he has to seek all avenues to find out what causes my illness, including depression. He alreadsy know I have chronic, lifelong depression that part comes from PTSD from childhood, and he knows I have coping skills that are pretty impressive when it comes to that. I told him I felt this way because I didn't know what I had (diagnosis) and not knowing made it so much harder (dealing with not only oneself and the questions, but everyone elses, including sSocial Services, etc). I told him the not knowing is half the battle. He seemed to understand that part, and is crunching time to get to the day of diagnosis a little sooner, rather than later. I will be a "frequent flyer" in his office" for some time now! I am glad I didn't boot him when I first got dissapointed. I needed to give him a chance.