Been awhile - I so don't know where to turn now so many tests

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by lovstoshine, Jan 18, 2006.

  1. lovstoshine

    lovstoshine New Member

    I have been out of work since July applying for Long Term Disability with my work.

    Well my paperwork was turned in, in October and still no word other than they lost my paperwork but now have found it ( just found this out last week)

    but I was told they(my work) would hold onto me close to a year but now they are terminating me as they have no idea when I will be able to come back

    Which I understand that my body has went haywire but I didn't want to be terminated before I found out about the long term disability

    I am so afraid they will just never get that done now!!!

    They told me the ins. co. said I had more than enough for me to get approved but who can you trust anymore - I feel like everyone is lying to me and that I can trust no one.

    I am so stupid, I was so relieved to find out about our company's long term disability but I think the jokes on me.

    It's amazing how fast your friens and family lose interest in you and you are just left on your own especially when test after test comes back normal!! I myself am beginning to wonder if I am just crazy????

    Oh and they also don't think my diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue and Myofascial Pain are valid due to new symptoms of double vision, blurry vision,hand and feet,ankle swelling and severe numbness and tingling in all not too mention my sever loss of short term memory and they found a goiter by ultrasound but just went to endocrinologist today and he says just to watch I go back in 6 months

    But I am thinking now they had me on too much Kadian and they also started me on topamax which has been great on no headaches as I normally have headaches everyday all day long but I think that is what is messing with my hands and feet and memory

    oh this probaby does not make any sense but I needed to talk to someone I have not been able to drive for months and now I can so feel the depression coming on and I don't know if I can stop or if I even want to

    I am so tired of the tests trying different medications the looks from family members not too mention friends - Now I do have my husband who is very good to me but he cannot take it when I get like this

    Well I have to go
    Thanks for listening
    Jeanie
  2. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    First off....you are not crazy!!! Don't allow yourself to go there. I have done it. This illness is so real and it will destroy us if we let it. But we will stick together until we get help!!

    I know how you feel...because I have been going through this for over 15 years.

    The tests...docs...family reactions!! It is so frustrating.

    You are smart... as I see you are trying to figure out what is causing certain things...like certain side effects of meds, etc.

    That is what I did. I tried to eliminate as much meds as possible... to see what was from the meds or fibro.

    Well, I was down to nothing practically, and the symptoms were still there...but worse.

    I know also what you are going through about work. I had to stop working and we are suffering from it financially.

    I tell you....it is rough, but hang in there and try to take it daily for a little while... and maybe the disability will come through.

    I have been told that I can't get it....but I will not give up!! I worked too hard for too many years. I will just get an attorney. But, until then we are trying to struggle by from week to week!

    PLEASE know that you are not alone....and we are here for you. I know that I probably didn't help much, but just know it will get better. God will not put more on you than you can bear to carry.

    Love ya....MamaR

    When I logged on and saw your post....I was just thinking about posting about almost same situation!

    I have been so down for weeks. I feel like a hermit. I hate to go out....because I have to deal with people and how they respond to me!
    [This Message was Edited on 01/18/2006]
  3. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    Hang in there sweetie. My heart goes out to you. You're in my prayers.

    hugs,

    Kendra
    [This Message was Edited on 01/18/2006]
  4. 69mach1

    69mach1 New Member

    that family and friends are reacting this way it is almost common i believe...

    y advice is to also file for ssdi/ssi if you have not already...get it started it takes a while...

    tr to turn a deaf ear to those who do not undeerstand...

    jodie
  5. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    Are you feeling any better now? I have been concerned about you all afternoon and evening. I know how it can feel to be where you are.

    Hope you are encouraged some by now.

    Big Big Hug....MamaR