been cryin'

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by susabar, Jan 22, 2003.

  1. susabar

    susabar New Member

    I am scheduled to go back to work Monday, and if that isn't difficult enough one of my co-workers called me today to give me a " heads up" that certain people aren't going to be very supportive. In fact there are a couple people I work with that don't even believe there is anything wrong with me!!! apparently they are angry and resentful over the time I've taken off. The ironic thing is we are in the healthcare profession !!! I've been crying because I feel like I am going to need support going back to my full-time job, instead I am being kicked when I'm down.

    Thanks for listening!!!
    Love Sue
  2. kadywill

    kadywill New Member

    I'm a nurse and on medical LOA right now, too. I have a "friend" who calls periodically to tell me what the others are saying about me and the reasons I am out of work. One even said she thought someone should "notify the law" that I take pain meds. in case I were to be out driving. Can you believe this???????
    People can be so spiteful and the stress it causes us is counterproductive to our getting better. Would it have been easier not to have received the "heads up" from your co-worker? Sometimes I don't think I want to know what all they're saying about me and my problems, but there is ALWAYS someone around who'll tell me anyhow!
    This is rough and some people ARE jealous that they *have* to work while others can just "pretend they're sick and stay home!" I'd love for them to spend one day in my body and tell me what they think afterward.
    I'm so sorry for you because going back is hard enough without this hanging over your head. I could say, "Don't worry about it" but that would be so hypocritical of me and I won't, but I will say that you CAN rise above it and try to remember the support you have here....we won't kick you while you're down, believe me. Good luck, Sweetie, and may God Bless You!
    Love,
    Kady
  3. Julygal

    Julygal New Member

    Susabar, I got my degree as a health professional & you'd think this would make a difference among peers that SHOULD have some compassion, if not understanding! No matter the profession, however, I've realized it depends more on the character of a person & if they're capable of loving & caring in their hearts for others.
    I had a great relationship with others until I was diagnosed & then I was treated awful & considered a "liability". I wasn't "fun" anymore. You do find out who you're friends are. What I always thought was sad was that they seemed to think it couldn't happen to them. At that point, if it happened to them, things would be "different"!
    My prayers are with you. The DD is bad enough without having to contend with such senseless added stress! God gave me the strength to go to work until I was no longer able to work at all, but it wasn't easy. People can be so cruel. Try not to let it get to you (easier said than done, I know!). They are the ones to be pitied for being so shallow.
    Let us know how things work out for you. God bless!
    Carolyn
  4. amaryllis

    amaryllis New Member

    I have to say I completely agree with LadyDj's statement:

  5. desertlily

    desertlily New Member

    Well, I just wanted to say "Yeah for you!" that you're able to go back to work, that's wonderful! I'm very sorry that your co-workers are not too supportive, I'll never understand people like that. I'm an RN and I've seen up close how insensitive and "catty" a lot of people can be, not what I expected when I first went into nursing. But although they seem to be in the majority, I have also met a lot of very caring and "real" people. The way I look at it, since you've had to learn to deal with your illness and all the changes that it brought to your life, it will help you to help others and be more empathetic to their suffering, and that will be greatly appreciated! So you have a lot to offer, something that you're shallow co-workers lack.

    God bless you and I'll say a prayer for you that God will hold you close and give you the strength you'll need. Remember to take care of yourself!!
  6. catgal

    catgal New Member

    Hi Sue~~I've been in the same boat as you, got negative updates from well meaning friends, but it gave me anxiety about returning to work.

    However, I decided to focus on those co-workers that offered support and were encouraging to me.

    I was courteous, but left the negative, non-supportive people alone and started doing the best job I knew how.

    The anxiety left after a couple of days back at work and getting back into the routine...gaining my confidence and competence back.

    If I had paid attention to the negative people--I probably would have quit before the week was over.

    Revenge is a job well done. Even you hadn't been ill, there would and will always be a select portion of people who don't like you, are jealous stemming from their own issues, or find some reason to make unfounded and derogatory comments about you.

    So, return to work with a positive attitude, a desire to do your best work, and focus on those people who support you--they are the only ones worth your time any way.

    Best Wishes, and I hope everything works out fine for you. Carol....