Being Alone and In Pain

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by NyroFan, Dec 23, 2005.

  1. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    For me there is nothing worse than being in pain and being alone. I tend to concentrate more on the pain. I try to occupy my time in various ways, but the pain makes me jittery and I can not concentrate.

    I know I can always come here for comfort and not being alone. It's just a terrible feeling to be stuck in the house, with pain, all alone.

    I guess I'm just feeling bad for my self. Just blue.
    I just wanted to throw this out there because I have no one else to tell.

    Thank you for all of your support.
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  2. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    Nyrofan,
    You have done one of the best things you could have, that is coming here and venting your feelings. You are right, it is awful to be alone and in pain. It does make you feel worse.
    However, you know that all of us understand how you feel. I am sending good thoughts to you right now! I hope you have some good medication that will work soon. Can you take a hot bath? Read some of the great funny posts that have been here lately. They always make me laugh and lift the gloom a little.
    One of my friends always says to me " this too will pass" and it always does.
    Hang in there, keep warm, and Merry Christmas.
    Kathy.
  3. Bambi

    Bambi New Member

    about what to do but I just don't. I know how it feels to be loney, even if you are not technically alone, you don't have to actually be without other people to feel lonely. I guess I would advise you for this holiday to find some good movies on tv, there are probably lots of Christmas movies on..which might help, or I think could also work the other way. If it's not something that makes you feel better, just try to find programs that uplift you and make yo feel good.

    Do you have a fur, feather or fin friend? It really helps to have a pet at times like this. I have too many but they do give me comfort and companionship when I need it. At the same time it's hard to take care of them on bad days, but the sometimes feeling of it being impossible is still worth it.

    Sometimes a good book, even if you've read it before, helps. Anything that can take you away from yourself and your pain is good. I know sometimes I can just escape into a book.

    There's always your local churches, you might call around and see what programs are on for today or tonight
    and if they have people who give rides if you can't drive yourself.

    Whatever you do try to pamper yourself, maybe a good warm bath followed by your most comfortable
    pjs or gown, a cuddly blanket and
    either a pet or a movie, some hot chocolate is a mood elevator. Try using lotion or whatever you have to
    massage your legs and arms. I also
    feel better when (I know it sounds crazy) when I sing. You don't have to
    be a great singer to just turn on the radio or your audio player and sing
    along with some Christmas songs or others. I sing to my dogs even when I'm alone.

    I don't think I've been very helpful
    but whatever happens, you are right to come to the board and even tonight I am sure someone will be around (they usually are no matter what). If so maybe some one will meet with you
    in chat? Do you have neighbors you maybe are just on a friendly basis
    with? I just hope you find something
    or someone that will help lift your
    feelings. If you were near me I'd surely spend time on the phone talking to you, your profile doesn't say where you are. Do you have any family to call? Do the best you can with whatever you have to pet yourself!!! Take care and know we
    care! Bambi ((((((hugs!))))))
  4. dononagin

    dononagin New Member

    It seems like it's too easy to focus on the pain when theres no one around to help distract you. Thank God for the computer.. I think otherwise none of would have any one who truly understood what we go through. Keep checking in, it's a good diversion.. and even though computors are things, we aren't.. We are living breathing friends that are here for you.. Your truly not alone.. at least not in spirit. This time of year is tough too to be alone.. Call someone if you can just to chat.. Big hugs, and hang in there sweetie..
    Dona
  5. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Please don't feel you ever have to hold back on venting here. There is the purpose of the board and your many friends here.

    I understand isolation and pain all too well. For over ten years I was so sick and practically housebound. Thank God I am better now, however I do still have fibro - so I have to take good care of myself so that I will never slip back to where I was.

    I will make a suggestion you may think is crazy but here goes...

    On any day you feel up to it - get dressed and out of the house to somewhere you can rest and watch the world go by.

    I have several places I can go and be in the world and still rest. One is if there is a large medical center in your city - normally they have very nice lounge areas, nice cafeteria,gift shop etc. (Stay away from areas where the sick are waiting to see a doctor).

    You can take a bag with you with needlework, crossword books, transistor radio etc. You can take your meds and while just resting, nap if needed. No one will question that because many people are sitting waiting for relatives in surgery etc. If someone asks you just say you are there visiting a friend.

    At lunch you can eat in the cafeteria. On occasion you will interact with other people, but most importantly, you are not isolated in the house. Also, you will get more exercise just walking. I have a cell phone with my home phone forwarded to it so I never missed a phone call during the day.

    In my case, I also have a business, so I would talk all day to the office and clients.

    Do this a few times and you will see how it makes you feel so much better just to get away from the house.

    When I was making the transition from being a housebound person, back to a more normal life - I did just what I am
    telling you.

    The only ones who knew I did this were my husband and my doctor. My doctor said it was a great idea and was all for it.

    Another place you can go is the library, a shopping mall, restaurant, etc.




  6. Fudge43

    Fudge43 New Member

    PVLady ... that was a great suggestion .. sometimes just getting out of your house can really make a difference.
    People watching can be very distracting .. and it sounds like it might help get your problems off your mind for a while !
    Good Luck Nyrofan !
    Fudge : )
    PS .. this is a hard time of the year for people alone or not .. just plain stressful !
  7. Dee50

    Dee50 New Member

    I'm so sorry you are is so much pain, but your not alone.

    You have us.lol. :)

    I've got a joke for you that my 16 year old son told me.

    How many therpist's does it take to change a light bulb?

    NONE the lightbulb has to want to change.

    I thought that was a pretty good joke for a 16 year old!lol

    Do ya want me to send him on over?

    Take care,
    Dee50
    [This Message was Edited on 12/24/2005]
    [This Message was Edited on 12/24/2005]
    [This Message was Edited on 12/24/2005]
  8. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    Yes, it's true..when you are alone you do tend to focus more on yourself and your pain. Having people around is a distraction, even if they do drain all your energy. Can you get out and rent some funny movies..."Christmas Vacation" with Chevy Chase or "Meet the In-Laws" (I think that's the title) with Ben Stiller and Robert DeNiro.

    If you can't get out, maybe you can take a hot bath..that tends to tire me out so much and helps my pain a little.

    And maybe, you just want someone to listen, in which case, you are right this message board is the place to find many caring people. My heart goes out to you and I pray that your body feels stronger and you have less or better yet, NO PAIN.

    Blessings,

    Lolalee
  9. MamaR

    MamaR New Member

    I read this post and feel so bad for you! If it helps any... I can relate to the pain and not being able to concentrate on anything else. That is enough to depress anyone!

    I am having a depressing day myself today. I feel so alone with this stuff...it is so isolating!

    We are here for you sweetie! If anyone knows what it's like....it is this group.

    BIG GENTLE HUG.....MamaR
  10. Jana1

    Jana1 New Member

    I was reading the answers to NyroFan, and read your post. I wonder what kind of cancer you were diagnosed with? I wish so much I knew where people lived so sometimes we could be friends in real life. I am in Wyoming, and no one ever has lived near me!

    Please let me know and everyone, what is going on with you? I read you are a nurse but don't live near family or friends at this time. Do you like to read? watch tv? can you drive to the doctor and things like that? I would really like to know, and will check for your answer if your arms allow you to type...I care about you..Jana
  11. abbylee

    abbylee New Member

    Isn't it sad to be alone at Christmas? I'm alone, too, and it pretty much sucks, but like you I can come here for support.

    My children live in another state with their spouses, and I saw them last weekend, but this is the first Christmas that I've not been with them on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

    My husband works 12 hour shifts - 14 if you add travel time so he was asleep by 7:45 last night and had gone back to work when I got up this morning.

    We moved here a year or so ago and since I can't get out, I don't even know my neighbors.

    So that's the way it goes here. I sometimes think about the past; where I've been and what I've done and I've come to realize that I could be doing/living/whatever somewhere entirely different this time next year.

    I plan to check in and out here on the group today and maybe read or watch TV. But I'm going to try to not let anything get me down.

    I called my son and his family today to wish them a Merry Christmas and they told me about what Santa brought my little grandson. Based on what he got, I had to ask my son where they were planning to put their furniture!!

    After that, I called my parents to wish them the same. They are going to my cousin's house for lunch later today.

    Later I'll make some other calls - don't want to wake anyone - and then I might take a nap.

    Whatever the case I'll get through it and it will all be over tomorrow.

    Please try to stay as upbeat as you can. If you find a comedy movie on TV, watch it. If I can find a distraction it sometimes helps.

    Special Christmas hug from me -

    abbylee
  12. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    To all:
    Never in my life would I think I would get so many kind thoughts, suggestions, hugs, practical remedies, shared experiences, thoughts for change and all the rest.

    I want to thank you, dear ones,I took your suggestions and thoughts and turned around my feelings. I took each one of you with me. You are just so.....there! It may be cyber, but it has a personal feel to it.

    I do feel much better and it has been because of you.

    What a wonderful group of people and I'm proud to be a part of you. I usually just answer posts but I guess you give a little you get alot.

    Thanks, darlin's:
    Hugs,
    NyroFan
  13. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    So sorry you are alone AND in pain. As I am British, I get on the BBC Radio web site and tune into live broadcasts of BBC 7 and 4. 7 Has lots of plays and serials on (if you can follow the accent) they tend to divert my attention from pain-a bit like listening to books on tape-they help also as reading when one is in pain can be hard. I just recovered from 5 months of vertigo and neck pain only to immediately get horrible, unremitting pain in both legs that is 24/7-if anything worse when resting! I know how it feels to be alone as when I first came to live here I knew one person in the whole of the USA. Try and keep a place for hope alive in your self. Best wishes, you are never really alone when someone takes the time to reply. Cromwell
  14. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    We really should be thankful that we have each other, but when you are alone in your home, and it's a holiday it's so hard to think that way.

    My brother lives 10 miles from me and truthfully, most of the time I feel alone in the world. His wife is very close with her family and I'm envious of that. The only family I have is this brother. I went over there last night, and today, but it was mostly because I felt like I HAD to go. When I go there he just sits and watches TV or ctiticizes me and my life in some way. I always feel worse when I leave there, never better. I can't even remember the last time I felt better visiting my brother and sister-in-law.

    I don't even talk about my pain because I don't think they understand at all. To them it's not physical (you can't see it... you can see it in my eyes for sure), so therefore it's not real.

    I'm sorry you are alone. I wish all of us had a way of getting together... wait! We are together right here.

    By the way... Bambi... you are very helpful just by being here and a part of our family.

    Hugs to all of you.
    Tigger
  15. Musica

    Musica New Member

    It is hard to be in pain and hard to be lonely, so being both, especially around the holidays, is very difficult. I'm glad you were able to alleviate some of the loneliness by coming here and finding out how much help you can get from online friends who understand what you are going through. I hope today was better for you than yesterday.

    bluemoon1monday, I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I hope you have 3D family and friends around you. It must be so hard to wrap your mind around this, especially when most everyone else is busy with the holidays and trying to enjoy it. I hope you will post separately if you haven't already.