Being Alone

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by BlueSky555, Apr 16, 2006.

  1. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    I live alone and was just wondering how many people had rather be alone and also stay home as much as I do? I used to be a "people person" rode horses and played music for many, many years but that has changed tremendously within the last couple of years. I sold EVERY musical instrument except 1 sentimental guitar, (don't know why I kept it really) and won't even turn on the radio to listen to any kind of music. I want to cry everytime I hear a song that I used to play when I hear it on TV. I don't like being around anyone but do occasionally attend family functions which is normally Christmas and Easter. One of my relatives tries to get me to go out to eat a lot and I won't even do that. The only time I leave home is to grocery shop or Dr. appointments. Am I THAT depressed? I'm on 2 lexapros a day but still feel the same. I haven't seen anyone for depression; do I need to?

    Would appreciate ANY input,

    [This Message was Edited on 04/16/2006]
  2. futurehope

    futurehope New Member

    I find that I am more an introvert myself. I think I always have been. I do like to sometimes get out and mingle.

    Then for some reason, I feel like I do not fit in a lot of times.

    Maybe you need to go back to the Doctor and have him change your prescription to a different AD. Maybe this one is not working. It does sometimes take a month to kick in good though, so keep that in mind.

    I am on AD's to and a Benzo, so I know how things feel.

    I think if you need to ask yourself the question "Am I THAT depressed"? Then you probably are not really majorly depressed or you would know it very well. You would be extremely low, real low. You probably are depressed to a point.

    You can at least get out and try and see how you feel. Like going out with your friend to eat.

    It might help to go see someone, lots of people do this. I had a counseler until my insurance would not cover him anymore.

    Hope this helps!!
    Love and prayers,
  3. Cromwell

    Cromwell New Member

    Yes, you do sound rather depressed. I do know that feeling though, Futurehope of not fitting in, I feel that a lot too. Sometimes it is easier just to stay in, plus the pain etc.

    You may want to see a doc about this. It bothers me that you gave up your music, which should be something to comfort you. Was it because you ached so much? I know when I try and play the guitar it hurts my hands now.

    I worry that you appear so withdrawn for your former life, and yes, it may be worth seeing someone about it.

    Love Anne C
  4. kalina

    kalina New Member

    Some people don't care much for being social -- it's not in their nature, and perhaps this is just the way you are. But if you have enough energy to be around people, and the desire to be alone is something new to you, you may be dealing with depression.

    Another sign of depression is losing interest in things you used to enjoy. From reading your post, music was obviously a big part of your life, so has your interest evaporated, or is there a reason you gave up on it? Can you no longer play your instruments due to pain or weakness in your fingers? Are you sensitive to noise, which might make listening to the radio difficult?

    A lot of us with this DD deal with depression. I hope this helps in deciding whether or not you should seek help for it.

  5. jhmitch

    jhmitch New Member

    Hi BlueSky555!

    Being a home-body and introverted, in itself, isn't problematic. Most of us who have chronic pain have times when we prefer to be alone and won't socialize unless we absolutely have to do so.

    However, like everything, it is a matter of extremes. If you feel your life has become "out of balance" in one direction, perhaps it is time to try something new.

    By this I don't mean to suggest becoming a raving extrovert, but maybe going out and doing things involving other people once ever so often.

    My friends know that I need to be pushed into leaving my comfort zone every now and then, so they'll bug me until I'll do it. Despite often being down about my medical problems, I really appreciate their efforts.

    The others here have given you some good advice. I do hope you'll consider discussing this problem with your doctor.

    Perhaps your AD dose does need to be modified...or maybe you could try a different one. I've been on several different antidepressants over the years.

    Best wishes for a solution.


    [This Message was Edited on 04/16/2006]
  6. Jordane

    Jordane New Member

    Know what you mean by wanting to be alone.I spend a LOT of time inside,away from people.My hubby is always after me to visit someone,he used to all the time.But since this DD hit,he has'nt been as bad.Because he knows I do'nt feel well enough to visit.
    But really hun,maybe you should talk to your doc about this.He may suggest some meds.I am not one to talk,but,being alone all the time,is not good for you.
    Sending gentle hugs:>)
  7. NyroFan

    NyroFan New Member

    I am a recluse and enjoy it. No more games with people about being sick. I can do what I want when I want.
    When my husband said he could not handle the FM/CFS I said good bye, he got a new girlfriend and I got a divorce, half the money and the entire house and alimony. So, he ended up paying for his non-compassion.

    I have become used to living alone and do not mind it one bit. I do not get lonely. When I am in pain (like everyday) I do not have to explain to anyone. I do not have to justify it. And if I can not do anything: I do not.

    I love being a recluse.

  8. andrea1459

    andrea1459 New Member

    I like it too! You put my exact thoughts into words..

  9. BlueSky555

    BlueSky555 New Member

    I can't express just how much this site and you wonderful, caring people have made me feel. I didn't think I would get very many responses but did.

    I think an important part of my message, that I left out, was that I feel I have no future, therefore, I just sit here at home and have no interests left. I don't know why I lost interest in my music. I began playing piano at age 5, playing by ear, and guitar and other instruments around age 14. Yes, my fingers are getting stiff, I have a thyroid problem, causing vocal chord problems but you would think I would love to still hear music but instead, makes me cry. I just simply do not want to have any part of it. I could still play even if my voice couldn't hold up but just have no interest. That's over 35 years of playing.

    After reading the responses, I do think I need to talk to my Dr. about this because I just don't want to go anywhere, be around anyone, even getting dressed is a struggle. It's like I just don't care about myself anymore. The only thing I have is my critters and now, this site. Also, asking the Dr. about the changing meds may be an option.

    I enjoyed reading the responses, which made me feel better for a brief moment, and again, thank you all. It's so nice to relate. I hope I can give the same in return.

  10. kalina

    kalina New Member

    I am glad to hear that you plan to talk to your doctor about adjusting your treatment for depression. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Feeling hopeless isn't good. I've been there too, and I still have a hard time sometimes when I think about the future. It may not have been the future I envisioned for myself, but I can remind myself that just *being* is as valid as "doing*.

    By the way, I still have my old guitar too, even though my hands are too weak and my brain fog is too bad to play it anymore. Music has always been such a vibrant force in my life, and I think just listening to it keeps me alive sometimes. I've been getting into a lot of new stuff lately (some of it just new to ME), partly because listening to familiar songs drags up memories of my "old self." But mostly because I love it so much.

    I wish you all the best, and hope you can connect with your interests again!