Being Assertive vs. Being Aggressive

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by JLH, May 19, 2007.

  1. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Some of us believe that being assertive is the same as being aggressive. It's not. Being aggressive is being demanding and forceful. This rarely gets our needs or wants met. On the other hand, being assertive is asking for what we want and what we need, and it's carried out in a caring and respectful manner.

    Our tendency, when in pain, is to be aggressive, demanding, and forceful. This accomplishes very little. We stand a far better chance of having our needs met when we're acting in a calm and assertive manner, and others will be far more receptive to us. While practicing assertiveness takes patience and an open mind, the results will be well worth the time and effort.

    From Living With Chronic Pain One Day At A Time, by Mark Allan Zabawa
  2. caffey

    caffey New Member

    Yelling and screaming and being rude gets you no where. I speak calmly and then I kind of suck up to them and say I know you are busy and I am sorry to bother you but it really hurts..... Also I tell them if the pain is different than what is normal for you normally have. Also most times people can tell by looking at you when you are in a lot of pain.
  3. pumpkinpatch

    pumpkinpatch New Member

    my new motto is

    "Calm, collective and Calculating" and it's working. For example we were recently dealing with mortgage lenders, real estate people, etc. and there were many times i could have lost it but planned my strategies and slowly it worked!!

    Anyway if i'm tense all the time it doesn't help my health in any way.