Between finding out what is really wrong....

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Oct 28, 2006.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Between finding out what is really wrong, do you sometimes wonder if anything will every be good again.

    I'm not sure wich is going to get me first... no money... (no job), Not really wanting food (usually done after trying to eat and can only get a couple of bites down, and having the pain and fatigue.

    I just can't figure out any of it more. I haven't given up, but it certainly is tempting.
    Hugs,
    Tigger
  2. atiledsner

    atiledsner New Member

    I've been exactly where you are.Anything that is not eternal is subject to change.

    When I get like this I have a what to be grateful for day.

    Stay positive..I'm pulling for you.
  3. msbad66

    msbad66 New Member

    Tigger, I know how you feel. I feel like this all the time. Reading fiction has helped me a lot.

    Don't give up please. Find one thing that makes you feel almost normal and grab onto it.

    hugs,
    Becky
  4. kjfms

    kjfms Member

    I wrote you a note on the IBS, Migraine, FMS thread -- please read.

    Please hang in there,

    Karen :)
  5. cjg4ever

    cjg4ever New Member

    I know what you mean about giving up.I told my husband the other day that if I have to live like this for the rest of my life,why even bother living,its know life.
    I worry so much about how long I can work,how will we make it with all the bills.I guess thats kinda what keeps me going.I dont want to have to put all the burden on my husband,but somedays I just want it to be over.I want one day without pain.I want the old me back.
    I just want you to know I understand how you feel.Here is a big hug from me and hang in there,I know its not easy. Jodi..
  6. Susi-di

    Susi-di New Member

    Hi tigger, You sound depressed, hence not wanting to eat, etc... Have you seen a doctor for this? I know it is part of the FM too, or maybe you're just down in the dumps today? but anyway, I just wanted to share this with you to help keep things in perspective. This was just given to me today and maybe it would help you to write this down and read it occasionally too.

    Someone will always be smarter. Their house will be bigger. They will drive a better car. Their children will do better in school. And their partners will fix more things around the house. So let it go and love you and your circumstances. Accept and enjoy your own life. The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart. And the most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children. The richest woman you know - she's got the car, the house, the clothes but she might be heartbreakingly lonely. So, love you. Love who you are right now. Tell yourself, "I am too blessed to be stressed". Be blessed ladies and pass this on to encourage another woman. "To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world". (< My personal favorite saying.) Take Care. Susi-di
  7. Summit

    Summit New Member

    Nights like last night (I was in so much pain all day and then all night too) I really wondered "how can I keep going on like this???" Honestly, I can understand how people who suffer for years with terrible pain, end up committing suicide. When you try Everything, and nothing brings releif of the pain at all. You just feel like giving up sometimes. I am not suicidal, don't get me wrong. I can understand it though. I can't beleive how one day my shoulder, neck etc. are fine.......the next, there is such a horrible, wretched pain !! Seems impossible.....but it happens that way. I hope you are feeling better, physically and spiritually, hang in there, we know what your going through!
  8. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I'm so glad that reading fiction help. I used to love "Court Room " novels... Grisham, Baldacci and others.

    My problem lately is my brain doesn't want to keep up eyes.

    i end up reading the same paragraph over and over again,and I get so very frustrated. I used to have a book all the time.. I'd go to the used book store. I can't even get a book from the library, but I wasn't done by the time I had to bring it back in.

    I've even been anxious even with my crochet. It's so frustrating when you really want to do something, but just can't because either fingers or brain aren't working together.
    hugs
    Tigge
  9. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Yes, I am very depressed right now. I have to do things that I don't want to do, but I can't let my fentanyl patch stop. It scares the crap out of me.

    I truly believe if my financial status would be better, then I would be better... not perfect, but better.

    It's so weird... I thought I was watching the cheking acount carefully. One monorning (2 days ago) I checked and I was overdrawn. Great! My brother gave me $100 dollars... do you how oblivious you can be sometimes... so, I put $20 in the gas tank, paid a $40 co-payment, which leaves me with $40...and it won't cover the $65 co-payment for the preseciption. I hate writeing bad checks. Not only does it make me feel bad, but I really hate doing it.

    I guess I have no other choices... plus I have to pay a doctor's appointment for a regular appointment on Thursday, . I'm beginning to think they expect you to money out of your... ear. My rheumy and I have worked out a payment plan, but right now I don't think I'll be able to compare them.

    Thank for listening to me babble
    Tiggr
  10. shootingstar

    shootingstar New Member

    I know you've been desperately struggling for some time now and had hoped your circumstances might have changed. The pain, financial overload and all the stressors that go with it are really so difficult. Antidepressants might help with some of this, and hope you would try those if you are not.

    All good wishes your way.
  11. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    I just wanted to pop in to see how all of you are doing.

    I've gone from depressed to even more depressed.

    I found someone taking pictures of my house today and then they left my mortgage in my door.

    I have been living on basically nothing. I filed for SSDI last June and have been declined once. Something has to give. I don't really care where I put my head as long as I have my "babies". I have no idea what to do right now. I'm also po'd because I want to talk to my lawyer and I keep getting his assistance. I want to see if he knows something or some way of keeping the wolves at bay.

    Thanks guys. My suggestion right now... by stock in Kleenex because I sure am going through it like crazy.
    Tigger
  12. jackrorabbit

    jackrorabbit New Member

    Tigger,
    To quote The Thermians in Galaxy Quest. "Never give up, Never surrender." I know the road seems long and painful and frustrating and yada yada yada, but you still have much to offer the world even if you dont see it right now. I have Fibro which has me down more than up, so I take my good days and message to others to try and help them as best as I can. I am right where you are with the food thing. Try doing a Celiac diet on the long shot that your lacking nutrents. Try Gatorade for the electrolites. And if the Dr. you have isn't cutting it, switch. And continue to reach out and ask for help you're not alone. (((((Tigger))))) sounds like you need a big hug.
  13. jackrorabbit

    jackrorabbit New Member

    Go to your doctor and tell them where you are. Be frank and open. My grandfather would frequently be given his meds from his doctor gratis. You would be surprised how some doctors will shave the bill or take the tax deduction when they know their patient is strapped and really trying. I cant promise anything, but its worth a shot.
  14. fungirl2100

    fungirl2100 New Member

    Tiger,

    I understand. I work 40 hours a week. I have a husband through med school with a huge amt of student loans we need to pay off. I am tired & last night I had one of the worst nights of my life. MY RLS had me out of control in pain. Crying carrying on. This is not like me..I hated myself the next morning because it kept my whole house awake. my poor puppy was scared & my husband had about an hour sleep before having to go off to work.

    We have to hang in there and know that some days will be good & some days will be bad.

    It is hard. I hope you have the support of your husband or a loved one.

    I am so lucky to have a husband who fully understands the disease process & what to expect & what it entails.

    My thoughts are with you. We aren't much different in where we are at. I hope we can become better friends.

    your friend,
    Dawn
  15. IntuneJune

    IntuneJune New Member

    I am truly sorry for everything you have been going through for the past two years. You have certainly put up a brave struggle.

    Wish I had some advice, wish I had answers, wish I had a cure....

    Please know, you are in my prayers.... you have not been posting as frequently, I have been wondering.....

    Bless you, Tigger,

    Love, June
  16. jole

    jole Member

    Hey, I too have wondered where you were, girl! See, you are loved, and cared for, and missed. I had hoped by now your situation had improved some, but it sounds as though you haven't had any good news in a long time now.

    You have been a bright spot for many of us "oldsters" on the board, and I really hope your lawyer can get you a few answers. Things have got to change soon, don't they??

    Prayers going up for you! I admire you for hanging in there~you are an inspiration to me, and proof that we are all real fighters.
  17. AllWXRider

    AllWXRider New Member

    I'm unemployed too. My wife is supporting me. My neighbor across the alley goes by "Pooh". I'll tell her that I talked to Tigger!

    I've been following the work of Dr. William Wong N.D. a naturalpathic doctor. His work with systemic enzymes is interesting and is helping me. He is a FM patient himself.

    Enzymes help with digestion (so you get more nutrition out of your food) and hence make you hungrier. When taken at a higher dose and on an empty stomach:
    1) Cleanse the blood
    2) Eat up fibrin blockages
    3) Dissolve the isoprin bond of certain viruses
    4) Modulate the immune system
    5) Reduce inflammation
    6) Dissolve scar tissue
    http://www.drwong.us/

    Dr Wong likes Vitalzym and "Forbearance" is testing out Virastop. My mom is having good success with Walmart Rexall Enzymes: 200 tabs for $7. She has good results with 7 tablets/day.

    TTFN "Tah-Tah For Now"