Big, Big, Meltdown some hugs my way!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by chris3, Jun 9, 2012.

  1. chris3

    chris3 New Member

    Hi Everyone,

    What a horrible day, ok...lets face it since fibro some days are better than others. My husband and I have three beautiful boys, 14, 11, and 6. We have been married 24 years, high school sweet hearts and all. I have had a rough four years, lost both parents to cancer, especially close to my mom, she was my best friend, and won in trial against a man who raped me. I thought I was coping ok, not great, just ok.

    I have been seeing a psychiatrist to help with depression and anxiety and have been trying new anti-depressants over past year to help. I have also gone off all my opioids this past year, except for T4's as required. I switched again about two weeks ago and was feeling better, but it was like all the financial, emotional, and physical burdens came to a head today. I am a full-time student, just got a part time job, as did hubby on top of his other full-time job so you can imagine the financial pressure we are under, as if everyone these days:(.

    Well, I finished cleaning the downstairs today, even did bathroom, laundry because I feel so guilty about not being able to do more and oldest son and I got into a huge fight, then my husband comes home and we get into it, really nasty, and I am feeling so overwhelmed, and alone I thought maybe writing it down will help.
    I feel like I am losing control, and I do not know what to do anymore. I know this may sound stupid, but living with all men can be lonely, and I feel bad even thinking that way.

    I am not even sure this post makes any sense, but thanks to all who read it and gentle hugs to you all tonight.

  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    You know something.....we can all relate to what you're going thru. Being a full time student with a part time job and 3 kids (those ages are really hard) can bring us all to our knees at times., especially if you've also got FM or CFS. Phew! I'm tired already thinking about that.

    Maybe you need to give your counselor a call and just run all this by him/her.(I actually hope it's a woman) That's what you're paying them for if you need them.

    Can I also say that with all you're dealing with you need to DELEGATE. A l4 year old, ll year old and even a 6 year old can help....big time. Even your husband. Tell him you're sorry you lost it today, But.....COULD HE PITCH IN AND HELP TOO.

    And I'm sorry about your parents. My mom (actually my best friend) died 5 years ago and I still miss wanting to talk with her. She seemed the only one who truly understood..

  3. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Sorry to hear about the bad day. Chronic illness, family, and school
    seems like quite a load. Even Wonder Woman would get outta breath now
    and then.

    As for living with all men, my aunt and uncle had 4 boys. My aunt would
    sometimes say, "I'm going to write a book and expose marriage." BTW, I
    was at their wedding in 1950. They had a wonderful marriage and family;
    both died last year.

    I have been depressed most of my life. But I am much better than I
    used to be. Benefited greatly from meds, suplements, therapy, hospitalization,
    "Feeling Good" book, and the 12 step program Emotions Anonymous.

    I think the suggestion about assigning chores might be helpful. Whaddya
    think? When my son was a teen, we sat down one night while I paid
    the bills. All the stuff kids don't really think about like utilities, insurance,
    taxes, car maintenance, etc. He said, "Boy, you sure have to pay a lot before there's any money left for fun." I think he got some of the concept about the family working together to keep everything going.

    Good luck
  4. Saoirse3

    Saoirse3 Member

    This year has been really rough on me, too, only my kids are grown and just ACT like immature, self-centered brats. I lost my parents too, in rather short order, my Dad first and then I watched my Mom die of lonliness without him. It broke my heart because we were so close. My kids do NOT understand this DD and say things like I am "over sensitive" and I should just get out more and I would feel better. And at times I push myself way too hard. I was also in a very abusive relationship before I met my current husband of 30 years. However I made a positive decision to seek professional help in getting rid of some of the emotional baggage I am still carrying around.

    One affirmation I made to myself, late one night is "There is NO crisis. I have the ability inside of me to overcome whatever I WANT to. Whatever I BELIEVE, I CAN and WILL achieve!" Once you say it out loud a few times, you start to think it just may be true. Then it hits you after awhile. It IS true!

    My daughters always want me to take the careful route, the most conservative and the one with the least amount of risk. My son, on the other hand, always says "Go for it!" The girls also wonder why I am so attached to my cats and birds. I told them "Well, at the end of the day, they're not yelling at me, calling me names or just in general being a pain in the butt, are they? And I've trained my parrots to tell me when my cell phone rings, the microwave goes off, or someone is at the door. THEY help me. What did YOU do for me today?"

    Your post DOES make sense. Because you reached out and that's what we're here for. Even way up in the wilds of Alaska! Or Canada, Mexico, Ireland, South Africa or the Space Station! We're all right here for each other. Because we DO understand what it's like! So write away, you have friends the world over!

    Soft hugs,
  5. chris3

    chris3 New Member

    Thank you so much for all your kind words and hugs, it made my weekend. Things are better today and I feel more ready to face the day after your posts. You are wonderful, loving, and caring individuals! I understand about the how important pets are in our lives, as I was a vet tech foe sixteen years...their love iOS unconditional....after all God spelled backwards is dog);. Well, off to write a test this morning wish me luck. Going to post another topic soon...