Big flair as someone close stealing medication, any help?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by shelby319, Aug 1, 2006.

  1. shelby319

    shelby319 New Member

    I hope I don't have to go into alot about this subject, as it's someone I love dearly and I thought I was beginning to feel better for awhile, until this happened to me!!

    As you can imagine this has taken a toll on me after finding out for sure that my love has been stealing my pain meds for sometime now. I had let it go, probably for too long before confronting not only him but my Dr.! I had started to feel alot better after the Dr. had put me on Oxycontin time release form 10mgs., and Lorcet for breakthrough pain. This love had also had a script of his own, but started stealing more and more of mine, when his script would run out early, so I would let him take a few of mine, seeing I wasn't needing them as often when I thought I was feeling somewhat better. Then one day I noticed he started taking my Oxy's and that was it!! I had enough!

    So, to make a long story short...I had to tell my Dr. as I would run out early, and of course was afraid for my love and his addiction, which continued to get out of hand. And my Dr. would wonder what happened to mine when I did run out early. So, by telling my Dr. all this and having a very understanding conversation with my Dr., we both decided it was best if I just hide mine and keep an eye on my love, along with the Dr. not prescibing him anymore too.

    The guilt alone.... over feeling I betrayed my love's trust by turning him in, and cutting him off and watching him go through withdrawals, I have put myself in such a flair up, that I can't control or know how to get myself out of it. I have tried everything for myself and I'm still feeling alot of pain and stress. Oh, I should mention that I never did tell my love that I told the Dr. all this, but he must know something is up because he hasn't even called for his refill and just went cold turkey on his own. I don't know if he knows or overheard me discussing this with a close friend or the fact that the Dr. had mentioned to him the last time he saw him, that he was taking too much and needed his refill too early!!

    I'm sorry if I'm not spacing too well either, so I hope you can read this ok. I've waited so long to post this and even if I should. But now he is back doing it again and putting me in more of a flair up, that I am at my wits end as to what to do now!! I can't possibly get any worse with this pain nor no sleep along with the spasms I'm having, is unbearable. Should I tell the Dr. all this again and what he is doing or just wait to see how long he's going to do this again? If I do tell the Dr., he would know for sure that I did discuss this with my Dr. and the Dr. would want to put him in rehab, which I know he won't go!!

    I just don't know what to do and I guess I'm not sure if by asking all of you anything is really going to help. But I'm sure it will help me with some support and maybe that's all I need.

    So, if you do read this and have any suggestions for me...I would greatly appreciate it, as I'm lost for any more answers and I have to think of myself and my health!!!

    Thank you all so much for listening!!
    Bless all of you,
    This board I know, is the only place that can understand this dilemma I'm sure!!!
    Shelby
  2. blessedmom2four

    blessedmom2four New Member

    i have had someone steal my pain medicine.

    i would suggest a little lock box that is small enough to fit in your purse.

    count them often...

    i know what its like to run out 24 hours early and not have your meds as it has happened 2 times in the recent past, it had caused me more pain and anxiety.

    i can totally relate..hope it doesnt cont. to happen.
    in my prayers
  3. barbinindiana

    barbinindiana New Member

    So sorry that this is happening to you. I think you've done the right thing telling your doctor, but you're going to have to confront the person who is doing this. If you don't, and he is addicted it'll only get worse. He may have to get help with it whether he wants to or not.

    You know you cannot enable him by letting it go on. Not only will his problem get worse, but the way it's affecting you health will also.

    If you have other family members, you need to get them to support you in confronting him with this, and insist he gets help. Let him know that it not an option.

    I sure hope things work out for the best for you and all concerned.

    Hang in there Shelby.

    Barb
  4. joanng

    joanng New Member

    Think of if this way, would you rather feed his addiction or free yourself from pain. The choice is yours. Hide the meds and if he asks tell him calmly that you only have a enough left to last you until the next dr's visit. This is his problem and only becomes yours when you run out of meds and are in pain. It's not easy but you have to be selfish in this case. You didn't cause his addiction, you can control his addiction and you can't cure it but you can share your meds and then when you both run out what happens? I've been there and I hide my meds and actually so does my other half. I got a script the other day, left them on my dresser and unexpectedly (for him) I counted them the next day. There were 16 missing! I took 3. I told him in a very matter of fact way. There was silence. Later on he "accepted responsibility" for taking so many, he said he didn't realize that he took that many. Truth or not but now he knows I'm counting mine when they're left out. Good luck, this isn't a fun way to live with someone you love but you have to separate him from his addiction.
  5. Lendy5

    Lendy5 New Member

    Hi Shelby,

    I am sorry that you have had to go through this especially dealing with it from someone close to you.

    In my opinion this is definitely a tough situation that sounds like you both may have the same doctor? Good caring doctors are so hard to find but I am not sure I would confront him (Doctor) again on this which could cause him not to want to prescribe you any more pain meds.

    However I would find a secure place to keep meds locked up or hidden that no one is aware of and I would confront your friend face to face.

    You can only look after you and if he causes you to lose your doctor that will only make it worse.

    I hope this gets worked out soon.

    carolin
  6. carebelle

    carebelle New Member

    My heart goes out to you we have had a problem in my extended family with that same drug.

    My brother took some of my other brothers wife's drugs. I am a person that has noticed so much addictions from that med I think it should not be given to anyone because so many people become addicted to it. Look at Rush Limbaugh's story and how many people have come out since then.I know here people have even robbed stories for it.

    I just think its a really bad thing. I'm sorry if this helps you it seems so unfair. I agree with the other person you need to first confront him about it once in private and again in front of your Dr.

    I personally and I realize this may not be a popular thought, but I also blame Doctors for not educating and keeping a strick watch on what this is doing in families if one abuses it and more then one takes it.

    I truly feel your hurt and worry all you can do is report it to the doctor and seek help for your love one. Good luck we are praying for you.
  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    I think it is tyical of women that you are feeling guilty.
    Women are just too nice. They break up w/ abusive men, etc. and then feel guilty.

    I don't understand the attraction of pain pills. Why do people who are not in pain want them?

    I saw a Dr. once at Kaiser. A middle-aged, female ice maiden. Totally hostile (but polite). I couldn't understand why she was so unpleasant.

    Couple days later I figured it out. Some months earlier I had been diagnosed w/ arthritis and given a Rx for Motrin which I was taking. I didn't realize it was for pain. So I was taking it everyday to ward off arthritis.

    Apparently she saw in the records that I was taking too many Motrin and decided I was a drug addict. She might have made an effort to see about therapy rather than rushing me out of her office.

    Oh well, obviously another dr. who cared about makin money rather than helping patients.
  8. shelby319

    shelby319 New Member

    You are all so kind, compassionate, and your words of wisdom have been so encouraging with my dilemma!! Thank you all for the support, as I knew I came to the right place, where people would understand!

    Yes, we both see the same Dr., and my Dr. has been extremely helpful with helping me through this and giving me many suggestions as to what to do also. I had enabled him for way too long and let him steal my meds, which I guess is my fault. But then as I said, when he started to take my oxycontin, I had enough and confronted both him and my Dr. But I didn't tell my love that I had told the Dr., and I think that is what is my worst situation of doing it like that. That's where the guilt came in. My Dr. hasn't had the chance to talk to my love yet, and he refuses to go back and see our Dr., I believe because he knows something is up and he hasn't even asked for a refill of his script. That's why he decided to go cold turkey all on his own. But now I have to suffer too as he kicks and squirms around in the bed with these ungodly spasms and refuses to take anything for it!! At my expense too, which bother's me, as he knows he's hurting my sleep pattern. But addicts don't care how we feel, do they?

    So, I talked with our Dr. this morning and he said he really didn't care about what my love was going through at the moment, as he was more concerned about me. He said if my love wanted help, that he would help him, but he has to be the one to ask for it, which is true!!

    I had hidden all my medication several times, along with counting them daily, putting them under lock and key in a little hope chest, and hid the key. But I have to leave out just so many for my daily dose, and he hasn't touched them, so I don't know where he's getting the ones he's using now, unless he did find the key and took some out of my bottle. Of course I can't remember everyday exactly how many are in there!!! Its just too stressful for me!!!

    Well, I guess I just got carried away again, didn't I? I'm sorry if I sound like I'm venting again....it just seems to come out of me!!LOL!!

    Hopefully this too shall pass along with my flair ups!! Thank God for my Dr., as he is very understanding and knows how to deal with this, but my love has to be the one to ask for the help first.

    Thank you again for listening, and if anyone has anymore suggestions, I'm open to anything you have to say!
    Bless you all for responding!
    Hugs,
    Shelby
  9. StephieBee

    StephieBee New Member

    This actually just happened to me today. There is a woman I work with who claims to be my "friend". Well I brought in just enough of my Vicodin to get me through my work day and when I went to take a dose, I noticed 2 were missing.

    It kills me because she doesnt care. It is people like her that make it that much harder for people like us, who have legit pain to get pain meds.

    Others have suspected her of stealing, and I know for a fact that she is addicted. She has no pain and only takes them for the high. She doctor shops...the whole 9 yards.

    I didnt want to be labeled the tattle tale or the whistle blower, but this was the straw that broke the camels back. I contacted the director of IT because there is a camera right on my reception desk, and I am having him review the tapes.

    It is so frustratring and upsetting for thsi to happen. I have seen it happen to my farther who is on Methadone for severe pain, and he goes through major withdrawals. Thanks goodness that I do not experience withdrawals, but I dont think this woman would care anyways.

    Ive dealth with many people like this before. When they start the addiction and the stealing...they arent the same person. The drugs have taken over every aspect of their lives. And they will go to great lengths go get their fix.

    Unfortorunatly, I have had way to much expeirience with this subject, and it is so sad.

    I wish you the best in your situation. Talk with your dac about what to do and possibly getting him on that Subutex that someone else mentioned. I know the brand name is Suboxone.

    The ironic thing is, is that this woman who stole from me has a doctor that is willing to prescribe it to her, but she wont help herself. Im baffeled.

    And I am truely sorry that you have to go thorugh this.

    Take Care of Yourself,
    Stephanie
  10. dleaning

    dleaning New Member

    I can relate...exept on the other end! I used to take my moms percocet and dilaudid not really for recreational use, but just to calm myself down. I was just so emotionally and physically tired, couldn't relax, and was having a real rough time dealing with losing my mom.

    I turned my self in to my family, and stopped. It wasn't easy, but the best thing I did. It is painful withdrawls, but they gave me ativan and something else for my stomach.

    The first week or so is the worst. I am soo glad it is all over, (it's been 7 years!) to put that all behind me.

    Hang in there Shelby, it will work out hopefully for the best.

    Dawn
  11. StephieBee

    StephieBee New Member

    I came into work today and they have footage on camera of the woman stealing. My purse was under my desk so they do not have evidence of the pills actually in her hands.

    It is so obvious though that she was reaching under my desk...and not only that, but going thru my desk drawers!

    But it is over my head now and I am waiting to hear back from HR and management.

    I thought this woman was my friend. Obviously not. And to make matters worse...it has sparked a major anxiety attack...and Im stuck at work.
    [This Message was Edited on 08/03/2006]
  12. toughone

    toughone New Member

    I am so sorry this happened to you! Espescially by someone who is supposed to be a friend. Try to relax...I know, easier said than done. I had a friend who seemed so genuinely concerned about my life with Fibro--she would invite me for coffee and ask how I was feeling, what I was going through, what my life was like with Fibro. I thought, finally, someone who really cares. Well, not exactly. Next thing I knew, she was off on disability with--you guessed it---Fibromyalgia. She's having a great time being off, collecting money and bragging that she's got it made now. I've been a stay-at-home mom for 20 years, raising my kids. I would love to collect disability so we have a little more money coming in but I've been told that I don't have enough work credits to even file for it. And now that my kids are doing college and jobs, I'd love to get a part time job. But most days, just getting out of bed, showering and doing my make-up and hair (something I MUST do for myself to feel good about myself)well, then it's time for a break. My pain is so bad all the time now that it strips all my energy.
    I really didn't mean to ramble on, kiddo. Just wanted you to know that you're not alone. And maybe I was able to take your mind off of your own troubles for just a moment...
    Try to smile--it really does help...
    Bonny
  13. Leaknits

    Leaknits New Member

    Shelby319:
    Small safe installed into a closet, and only YOU have the combination.
    Fannypack for your take-along-with-you meds. Keep it on you or in your hands at all times, chuck it into safe when you are at home.

    I HATE THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH THIS.
    No, I'm not yelling with all those capital letters, just trying to be emphatic!

    Exactly the same thing is happening to an e-mail friend in Florida...her ball n'chain is stealing her $$, besides her painmeds.

    Here in NorthCA, county clinics implemented a horror-show called the Pain Patient Program about a year or so ago. A PPP person is now required to submit to pill-count, urine and/or blood tests at 24 hr notice.
    That's just one of the rules.

    If the PPP'er says his or her spouse stole meds, tough on them. Drs will not order up a new supply.

    I hope nothing of the sort happens between you and your dr.

    Please do what you can, everything you can, to not enable your love to go on as he is now.
    Lea.
  14. shelby319

    shelby319 New Member

    That all of you that have responed and given me so much great support, or have also either gone through this or have just helped me to cope better with it!! I can't thank you enough!!!

    I'm sorry to the ones that have gone through such a horrible thing and to have it be with someone you love dearly too. This is so overwhelming to find out that people in our situations have to deal with this, and that these are people who are suppose to support, encourage us, have compassion, sympathy for us, yet still find the need to steal our meds when we need them so badly!! I should know better and I do understand the addiction part so well, as he was addicted to alcohol 20 years ago and went through treatment. But this is a huge temptation to not do what he's done, I realize that much, as he did have his own script for many months. Then we cut him off!!

    Now though. I'm the one to suffer through this, and now I have a friend coming for a visit and I know she will try to do the same!! There goes hiding again and counting, which is stressful on me, along with being in a bad flair!! I did see my Dr. again and he totally understands, as he knows I don't take even the proper dosage, nor even half of what he prescibes, unless I feel I really need them. So, there are no trust issues with my Dr., which is great for me!!! But at the same time, I think I purposely didn't take all my medication, just in case he was suspicious a little bit about me, which didn't help me with my pain of course, until I told him this. Great communication is so important with your Dr's, isn't it? Seeing its difficult enough for many of you to get the relief you so need!!! So, I hope none of you have to go through this ever again, or for it to ever happen in the first place...its such a violation of our whole being!!!!

    I thank all of you for your honesty and support through this very hard time right now!! It is very stressful and I need to learn how to cope better with these type of things that pop up in our lives!! This board is so wonderful and I'm so thankful to find this place!! You all DO understand!!! And for that I am forever grateful!!!

    Gentle hugs to all of you,
    bless you and sparkle brightly today,
    Shelby
  15. dutchieU

    dutchieU New Member

    I also had this happen to me when I lost my baby full term after a very healthy pregnancy. My future mother in law took all my valium rx'd to get through the funeral and my pain pills too that were for the very hard birthing process/natural. I knew right away that I was obviously dealing with a very selfish person and I just went without them. She took the whole bottles so I had no idea if there was even refills on them.

    All I can add to all the good advice given here is to say that you are very lucky to have a good doctor that understands. Don't risk that just because your love has yet again taken your meds. At some point the Dr is going to have to tell you he cannot replace pills stolen. The government has gotten so involved with Dr.'s and meds perscribed to whom and how often, you could be putting him into a difficult situation if he is audited.

    Bottom line is if you really love him, be straight with him. Tell him you know what he's been doing and that it shows you that he either has no love or care for you or he's got a big problem with drugs. Either way...he needs help and cannot continue to be allowed to take yours....so don't even ask. I know of another man that had to buy a safe to keep his cancer pain meds in to keep his kids from stealing them! Can you imagine? Dying of Cancer and your own kids take your pills and leave you in pain? Shelby dear...your situation is just as sad :( Please do something about it, for yourself and for your love. PUt a firm foot down!

    God Bless you!!!
    Cynthia/Dutchie
  16. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    I read this information not long ago and they said it is a fallacy that they are checking up on doctors prescriptions and that the doctors have nothing to fear from the DEA. I wish I knew for sure what the deal is. I would love to stuff that argument down my doctor's throat.
  17. SPR30

    SPR30 New Member

    This has happened to me too...so I suggest doing what I do.
    Keep a tiny pillbox on you..with just a couple of pills to have handy. I have one with angels on it and it is small like an inch and a half wide..fits in a pocket.
    I have a metal file cabinet for paperwork, etc....it locks so when that someone is around or when I leave the house (in case of robbery,thieves will take RX drugs) I can lock my meds up in the file cabinet drawer and I have a key on my keyring, the extra key is carefully hidden in the house.

    This is awful and for me,when it is family....what a hard thing to handle....my dr knows it and knows the person and has in my file that no one can request or pick up and presciption request except me or my husband, period!
  18. SPR30

    SPR30 New Member

    Also....this person even wnet os far as to take an old bottle of mine and try to have the prescripton refilled.....my dr knew this and called me right away so I could tell them NOT TO AUTHORIZE the refill!
    This person is very close family and they threatened that if I turned her in they would accuse me of child abuse and distributing narcotics!!!!!!!!!!! What a hellacious mess!
    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
    So..I have to keep my mouth shut...but my pills are under lock and key!
    *this person even stole from me when I was in the hosptial having surgery!! She was helping take care of my son and used that to get to my meds....she has even gone thru my purse when I was out of the room so I only keep a few pills in it.AWFUL!!!!