Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by debkmpf, Jun 4, 2003.

  1. debkmpf

    debkmpf New Member

    My 19 year old son is bipolar and refuses to take his meds.He has become very verbally abusive and close to physical,so I kicked him out until he went back on his meds.Did I do the wrong thing?I am bipolar too,and take my meds every day.Does anyone else have trouble getting your teens to take their meds?Thanks!!DebK
  2. kgg

    kgg New Member

    And nobody has to put up with abusive behavior, especially a parent. So shrugg off that guilt Mom! When your son realizes no one wants to be around him when he's not taking his meds, he might stay on them. And yes, getting a teen to do anything is difficult. My son fought me on his asthma meds for a long time.

    Consider yourself hugged. -Karen
  3. AnnG

    AnnG New Member

    You did the right thing. Its hard being a tough mom but you should be very proud of your decision. Don't back down - he'll test you! Another huge hug to you! Ann
  4. debkmpf

    debkmpf New Member

    Thank you for the support and hugs.It really helps!DebK
  5. teach6

    teach6 New Member

    I also have a son who has bipolar disorder. You have done the right thing. It took my son a few times, and legal charges to get him to accept his illness and that he will need to be on meds for the rest of his life.

    He is now on the path to regaining his life. He has a temp job that will last for 7 months and he also has a long-term plan to become an art teacher. He is an artist and has one more course to finish to graduate. He will do that in the fall and then hopes to be admitted to the grad program that is local and will allow him to live at home while he becomes certified to teach.

    As hard as it was to do what you did, you did the right thing. I know how painful it is to watch your son going downhill and refusing the meds he needs.

    One thing that made it easier for my son this time is a local day treatment program he attended for four months. They promised he would be on the least amount of meds necessary when he was finished and he was. He is now on a new antipsychotic called Abilify which has minimal side effects. It has given me my son back!

  6. debkmpf

    debkmpf New Member

    Thanks Barbara.It's encouraging to know someone else has been there and there is hope.Every day I pray I will get my son back.God bless you.debk
  7. Dorothy45

    Dorothy45 New Member

    I was diagnosed last fall with a mild form of bipolar. There is a name for it, but for the life of me, I can't remember. I was awful! I am very fortunate that my family put up with me. I am almost certain my 20 year old daughter suffers from depression too. She is like Dr. Jekyl and Mr.Hyde. With the support of my husband(her father), we told her that she needed to get out on her own. Not only is it good for her, but me too. Eventhough I am doing very well mentally, I still have my moments. The pressure of dealing calmly with my daughter throws me into the black cloud. There are so many issues, and I don't think either one of us can heal without our "space". I have apologized to my children for my behavoir while being sick, and I tell them that all I can do is say I am deeply sorry, and move on by keeping mentally healthy. It is not uncommon for mentally ill patients to quit their medecine. I was guilty of it too. I watched Larry King the other night, and they were talking about bipolar and clinical depression. Somenoe had mentioned that many quit taking their meds when they start feeling better. Debk, remember we care.
  8. Carlacat

    Carlacat New Member

    My son has tried so many meds that he feels like no med is going to help him. I just want him to have a "normal" life and be able to get a job, but they just havent found the right med I guess. He only goes out at dark and stays in his room during the day. You want so much for your children, I just hope we can find a med that he'll take.
  9. stilhere

    stilhere New Member

    I'm Jessica and I'm a lurker on this board, I usually am a 'lurker' on this post, I've post before though. I seen your post and was ignoring it, but I keep on coming back to it...My exhusband is bipolar, we were married for 4 years, the only thing good that came out was our daughter, I don't want to offend any one and if I do I'm sorry, and I don't want to gross anyone out but I want you all to know my experience with bipolar disorder..

    When I first met him, the neglected to tell me that he was in the processof being diagnosed with it, I went to his apartment and he grabbed some pills, I know I should of looked but I trusted him and he through them away, he said, 'now that I have you I don't need these', okay, it was a bumpy relationship, but we were both christians and I thought maybe all this man needed was a good woman to love him, (I know naive, he was alone in Washington State, I was alone with my kids in Washington state)anyways, he would always get angry, one time he threw a remote control at my then 9 year old boy, there was always arguement, we were always broke, he always spent the money, when I would ask to hold it, it would just end up in a bigger fight, well he moved us to Nebraska, where his family was and he got worse, it was there that I made him go to a psych. and he got diagnosed with bipolar. Well he was jealous of my sons, he would get paranoid of anyone being around the baby when she was born, the last straw was when he punched my then 14 year old in the chest, (this man is over 6' feet tall and big), I haven't mentioned yet that also when I met him his hygiene was awful, with a capitol A. his teeth were stained brown, some had green mold, he never liked to shower, he always stunk, your probably thinking why did I marry him, because I thought maybe he was depressed, I don't know..when he was diagnosed, he did not take his medications, that was another arguement, he would lie andsay he took them, at first with his teeth, I would leave suttle hints like leaving his tooth brush on the sink in the bathroom and he would not use it, until I had a major tantrum, I had to leave him, I know God doesn't like divorce, but I was getting sick with the Lupus SLE and Scleroderma, the doctors didn't know what was wrong with me, they called my family in California to tell them I was dying, my husband was no help, he would shift all attention to him, I finally had to stop him from coming to the hospital with the nurses and the doctors, when they flew me backto california was when we got a divorce. Show this post if you can to your son, so he'll see, hopefully this doesn't happen to him...
    In Christ

    Sorry for it being so long...
  10. Sunshyne1027

    Sunshyne1027 New Member

    Its hard to kick out your own child. But you did the right thing, you do not deserve it at all.. To be emotionally or physically abused.

    I did not know much about bipolar until recently. While going to school in Vocational Rehab, I met two wonderful friends.. who are bipolar. They are adults, in their 40's. They talked to me about how at first before their diagnosis, how they were abusive also. How now they feel sorry about it, and made their peace with the ones they hurt.

    I hope your son can get to where you are.. Taking the meds that help everyday, being adult about it. Never know.. One day he may say sorry too. For now... what you did was the best, no need to feel guilty about it.