Blog/ Blank Stares- Excellent!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by MicheleK, Jun 5, 2012.

  1. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    I came across this blog that talks about "blank stares", the reaction many M.E, CFS patients get from those who are suppose to be the ones who care the most about them.

    The subject is the lack of belief, recognition or belief in how ill an M.E, CFS patient really can get.

    So many of us have or still are experiencing this hurtful behavior which crushes the heart, and heaps emotional injury upon the original physical injury to our bodies. I think the author of this blog was quite brave to write such a pointed article on such a deeply personal subject.

    What did you think while reading it? Could you relate? Have you in the past or are you in the present dealing with "blank stares?" I have an entire family who for 20 years has been blank staring me as though it were an olympic sport!

    Hope you all have a good day.
  2. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    I've had friends drift away because I can't ever plan definitely on something and they move on. I have 3 children who say they understand, BUT my 38 year old daughter has yelled at me about 4 months ago that I was missing out on my grandchildren.....that they were growing up without knowing me the same as their other grandmother. That REALLY cut to the core. As though this was something I was doing on purpose. I was also told she doesn't want to hear about how I feel anymore. I've stopped talking about it so our conversations usually are about her life or my grandchildren.

    Michelle: I read your replies on that blog. I'm so very sorry your mother doesn't have empathy for you. I'll withhold my comments on her, but just look at your sweet blessed you are to have an understanding little girl next to you.
  3. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    Just to clarify, I didn't talk about my mother in the comments on the blog and I do not have a little girl. I do have a mother like the bloggers but put the blog on my page so I wouldn't bring up my own family as I know they might have looked and read it. (doubt it but didn't want a family war)

    To be treated like that by one's mother or siblings is one thing. To be treated the way two of you have described by the children you carried, took care of for at least two decades and whom your heart loves in a way no one else's heart could love them, it's beyond me what kind of pain that is causing.

    I don't understand why people who don't understand or don't believe in the illnesses, somehow deduce that they then can treat you abusively, their own mothers! I am sorry that you have to go through such an insulting situation
  4. sunflowergirl

    sunflowergirl Active Member

    Your spelling of your name is quite similiar......My blended bifocals are such a pain when trying to read the computer. I apologize.
  5. deepak

    deepak Member

    I can relate to all this though I have been ill just a year -

    The other day a friends wife said - why are your reactions so slow - now how do I explain how much pain I am in and how I am trying to cope and live as normal a life as I can - I have realised there is no sense explaining - before you finish your sentence they have already looked away or bored !

    Dad means very well for me but his advise is - you just need to swim or exercise more and you will be ok - he just does not get it ! haha

    But I liked one thing I heard on Oprah once - When we know better, we do better - THEY do not know - so they cannot do better - :)

    Better to see them with compassion and forgive ....

    Maybe we would not have known better had we not experienced this.....

  6. MicheleK

    MicheleK Member

    Hi Deepak, You are obviously a compassionate person. That is good. I hope the illness and the pain never erode that within you. We need more people like you in this world
  7. deepak

    deepak Member

    Thanks Michele,

    I am trying to hold on to it though I realise since all this started I am much more irritable and short tempered as I am so tired of so much pain. But I try and remember :)

    How is your LDN going. I had stopped it for some time due to bloating which I thought maybe candida - but now have restarted it since I got my anti candida supplements. I am on 3 mg and I must say I am quite happy now - cognitively and pain wise - definite improvement......