BOB HOPE remember him? FUNNY LINES to remember....

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by victoria, Jul 26, 2007.

  1. victoria

    victoria New Member

    Some of his best lines:

    A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

    A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.

    A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

    Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

    I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

    I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

    I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

    I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

    I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

    I have too much money invested in sweaters.
    (I guess he never moved to the Sunbelt then?)

    I like to play in the low 70's. If it gets any hotter than that I'll stay in the bar!

    I love to go to Washington, DC - if only to be near my money.

    I've always been in the right place and time. . . Of course, I steered myself there.

    If you haven't any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

    If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble.

    If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

    Kids are wonderful, but I like mine barbecued.

    Middle age is when --
    you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
    (So does that mean I'm still middle-aged no matter how old, hehe, if I believe that?)

    Middle age is when --
    your age starts to show around your middle.

    My father told me all about the birds and the bees--
    the liar! - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was 21. . .

    People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

    She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

    The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

    There'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood.

    When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

    When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor's Orphanage - he shot both his parents and moved in.

    When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness.

    You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

    You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

    by: BOB HOPE
    [This Message was Edited on 07/26/2007]
  2. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Big star in radio, movies and tv when I was a kid.

    I went to the biggest title company in Los Angeles back in the 70s. They were working on a special project. Bob had bought so much real estate he'd lost track of it. They were trying to locate it all.

    I read his biography. He said the best real estate deal he ever made was the hill in Los Angeles that he bought for $30,000 and later sold to Universal Studios for a million.

    (Don't remember the exact figures, but you get the idea.)

    Bob live in a suburb of Los Angeles called Toulca Lake, right near my dentist.

    Thanks for the memories, Bob.
  3. jole

    jole Member

    I remember him too. He was the greatest at intertaining the troops, and they loved him! He truly put his life on the line back then for the guys.....

    My fave is ...She said she was approaching 40, and I couldn't help wondering from which direction. (Think I might try that one myself!!
  4. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Hope your arm is healing up.

  5. ckball

    ckball New Member

    Yep he was a very funny man, we always watched his shows as a kid, he was one of the greats- thanks for the memories-Carla
  6. victoria

    victoria New Member

    it is amazing that he was a boxer when he was a young man, altho admittedly he didn't last long...

    it always amazes me at the jobs many comedians held before being successful - wasn't Tim Conway an accountant? Hard to believe...