both/..what a kick in the teeth,after all i achieved.

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by flossyfudleFran, Nov 13, 2006.

  1. im in the uk.i have fibromyalgia and ME chronic fatigue syndrome.

    i wrote recently that i have spent a year trying to build up my muscle strength and confidence.and then got myself a 24 hour a week job,that sent me into a total body crash after just four weeks of work.and i was made to work overtime,and then when the limping started again (because of tearing muscles in my buttocks),my job was taken away from me.

    bare in mind that my pain has never gotten better even though i lost major body weight.

    well after trying to rest a few weeks,i decided NOT TO GIVE IN TO THIS ILLNESS.and went to do my recent job of 16 and a half hours a week.

    i still crash and burn at the weekend,and have to rest up,ready for the start of the working week again.my depression is major again,because working and being in pain..MAKES US DEPRESSED.we are human after all.

    well this morning i went to the job centre here in the uk,and told them about my illness and how i achieved so much this past year,and now work 16 hours a week.but can i apply for tax credits,which would be added to my part time wage,and enable me to pay my rent and perscription charges.

    what do you think he told me at the job centre?

    you cant claim tax credits because you have to be 50.

    you cant claim on 16 and a half hours a week,you have to be working for 30 hours a week.

    and they can only pay it to my husband,if he gets a 30 hour a week job,in stead of him getting £75 per week on incapacity benefit for the heart problems and spondalosis that he suffers from.

    as you can imagine,i cried in the job centre.its a mans world.and for goodness sake how can i convince my fibro and chronic fatigue syndrome to allow me to work for 30 hours a week,ive already tried 24,and my illness gave me the total body crash.

    its so unfair that the end result should kick me in the teeth and send me into depression again.

    my illness wont allow me to work for 30 hours a week,and because its classed as a invisible illness,and not recognised as a real illness,i cant get disability benefit for it.am i just supposed to fade away after achieving so much for myself?

    to say im tearful and totally upset is a under statement,im totally gutted.why did i ever bother to help myself when others kick me down so.


    kind regards
    fran
  2. jole

    jole Member

    I am sooo sorry things are going badly for you. It seems many of us get kicked when we are down, and I don't know why. All I can say is someday "they" will have to pay for their lack of caring.

    Be proud of your achievements. We struggle hard just to make it through the day, much less work, and I admire you for that. Tomorrow I will be starting back to work part time after 2 months off because of this DD, and already I am apprehensive.

    I feel I have made a lot of progress not working and am fearful of losing ground once again. It sounds like that is where you are right now. No one can ever say you are lazy or that you haven't tried your hardest.

    I know that doesn't put a roof over your head but at least it gives us some sense of pride that we haven't given in to this DD.

    Please know that I care and wish I could help. You are a good person and definitely don't deserve any of this.

    Friends - Jole
  3. joel thankyou for your kind words.i really need them just now.i cant stop crying.im so sick of the rules in this country.never helping the badly off and ill people.i know ill not let myself crash emotionally like i have in the past.i just have to keep myself in some sort of control,else this illness will be rearing its ugly head big time.

    kind regards
    fran

  4. Steinem

    Steinem New Member

    I'm hurting quite badly and cannot write a lot, but I just adore you from your previous posts and can't help but let you know that I care and hope that things improve for you - you've worked so hard and to have this happen - simply heartbreaking.

    I sincerely wish there was something I could do to wipe away your tears; please know you are in my thoughts and I'm sending mental angels across the pond to comfort you.

    Bless you, dearest Fran...you are so good and kind, that I know things will work out for you.

    with hugs and best wishes,
    Jill
  5. dearest jill

    thankyou so much for replying to my post,with your kind words.i feel those angels hugging me,and im sending them back to hug you right back, as well.

    after the upset i had yesterday,my spine muscles are stiff and hurting,so i know that my fibro isnt happy with the current situation.you know,the current bought of stress at the job centre.

    i believe us with this horrible illness will always have bad flare ups when the world and society treat us like they do.

    when we were young,we would have to cope with so much stress wouldnt we,like i had to be my parents rock,while other siblings just got on with their own lives.(my parents are dead now)

    and now our body has become ill with this fibro/chronic fatigue,and it isnt able to cope very well,so it crashes,and takes our mind and soul with it.

    we truly are brave souls,because we pick ourselves up off the floor,and carry on with life as best we can.its a poor quality of life,but its all we have left and dont want to give up.

    i read a story that said a woman recovered from ME chronic fatigue syndrome,but she had to pay the ultimate price.she had to walk out on her husband and kids,and go live all on her own.and as her muscles started to work properly,she decided to set up a room in her house,become self employed,and offer physio therpy to the paying public,and aroma therpy.i liked reading her story.she was able to earn a living for herself,and was helping other sufferers to relax.

    but i sit here and think to myself,ooohh that price for a pain free body is way to high.why wont this illness let us cope with our life and society? i dont want to dissapear and live totally alone,i worked so hard to gain the confidence to be around people again.i dont want to be alone to get better.its so frustrating isnt it.

    this group,you, and the rest of the members,keep me sane.give me a reason to carry on.and i thankyou all for that.

    love from
    fran