Breaking point

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by monet61, May 7, 2006.

  1. monet61

    monet61 New Member

    Hi all, I'm new and hoping to find some support and understanding and maybe some guidance as to how to make my life more manageable.

    I started experiencing Fibromyalgia symptoms a few years ago. Tried a number of antid's with no really good results, but a good bit of weight gain. I'm not currently on any....I just can't allow myself to gain anymore as I think the weight contributes to the condition. It certainly has made me miserable.

    I've given up caffiene and I take a good multi, fish/flax/primrose oil, garlic, b complex, C, in the morning, and calcium, magnesium and chasteberry (for pms) at night. I don't take anything for the pain simply because I can't afford drowsiness. I do take Xanax (used to be 1/2 situationally, but now it's more like 1/2 in the am and 1/2 in the pm) for anxiety.

    I'm living a very high stress lifestyle. I'm divorced with 2 sons 25 and 19, and the 19 year old lives at home with me.
    I have a job that's brutally demanding. I'm just about desperate to leave but being only one deep financially it's very frightening. I'm also primary caregiver to an elderly mum with early alzheimers. She lives around the corner from me, and oversee her life (bill paying, meds management, etc). I'm a college student part time (requirement of my job).
    Other than knowing they do love me, I get no help/support from my family. There's no one to turn to, and they rely heavily on me.

    I've been in a long distance relationship with a wonderful guy in CA for the past 4 years and I'm longing to move there. We've talked about it extensively and tentative plans are underway. Of course tho, this adds more stress because of the prospects of such a major change.

    Thing is with all this I'm at my breaking point. I've been in pain all weekend, I'm overwhelmed at the propect of the week's work. Literally dreading it. Actually, I'm overwhelmed at everything. Between work, my family's needs, my relationship and this illness it's just all too much for one person.

    I'm a capable woman, and I've accomplished much in my life and career. But I'm exhausted, I'm hurting, I'm overwhelmed and I need a break before I break. How in heaven's name do I take care of myself in the midst of all this?
  2. mom4three

    mom4three New Member

    I am so sorry you are feeling all of this.

    You are amazing if you have gone this far without any medications. Are you opposed to pain medication? Do you have a doctor that will prescribe them?
    I do not have all that is on my plate as you do and I honestly could not do any of what I do without pain medication.

    Take a deep breath:) I may not have the answer for you but I just wanted to let you know there are so many women on here that might.

    Bless you:)

  3. monet61

    monet61 New Member

    Thank you both for your kind responses. I will check into that shake. I've been thinking about a juicer for some time so I'll follow through with that as well. I've thought about juice fasting but worried that would drop my serotonin levels.

    I did buy a light box and have begun to use that regularly as I live in a climate that gets insufficient sunlight and I know that too is critical to serotonin.

    As for pain meds, antid's I'm just so afraid of the side effects that seem to just add to, not lessen the burden of this illness. I've been afraid to try anymore. I'm fatigued and overweight and I have sleep issues and consistent side effects of antid's say fatigue and weight gain and insomnia! I have terrible anxiety (this goes back years as I also inherited essential tremor from my dad) and I'm petrified of anything that might heighten my anxiety.

    I think above all I just desperately need a major lifestyle change. I've been working for about 18 years straight and as a single mum with no support it's been relentless. Add in going to school, caring for elderly parents (my dad was a double amputee and I cared for him for 5 years before he died) and an awful marriage and subsequent divorce, I just think I'm flat out exhausted and desperately need a break. It seems however that I'll have to completely dismantle my life as I know it in order to get that break. :-(

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