<<<<< Brooksiemom>>>>

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by orachel, Oct 10, 2005.

  1. orachel

    orachel New Member

    Hello there!

    Its 2am my time, so I have only a few moments. I just wanted to reach out to you as I noticed your response to 2painful4words post about her abusive husband was close to mine.

    I would just like to take a moment, woman to woman, to commend you on your incredible strength of character and courage. It physically sickens me that wonderful women are subjected to the kind of horrific abuse you suffered. I hope you have come to terms with the demons of your past, because my recent experience with my godmother has shown me that the fear and nightmares often last beyond the actual physical danger. You are obviously a very strong person to even be able to discuss something so painful...but as we know, silence is the one thing that hurts abused women the most.

    What an amazing woman you are. The fact that you are able to reach out to others and be so open about such an inhumane experience.....just amazing. You are an inspiration to women everywhere. I hope that more women would have the courage to get out regardless of the perceived "lack" of opportunity. If you need to survive, you find a way to, and your experience proves that.

    I would like to offer a bit of a prayer for you and your child(ren)....you've come so amazingly far with no "juice" but your own desire to live free from terror.

    Giant Hugs. I hope that your life now is all that you could hope for. Clearly you are here, so there must be everyday challenges. But what you've suffered...eventually something really amazing will come your way if there is any truth to Karma.

    Bless you for your courage, strength, and will to survive.

    Rachel
  2. orachel

    orachel New Member

    Thanks all! Hugs to you!
  3. hugs4evry1

    hugs4evry1 New Member

    Wow,

    Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words. I'm rendered just about speechless. (Never completely though!!)

    I almost deleted that paragraph thinking that as long as Patti saw it that it would be ok to take out of my post. But there really shouldn't be ANY shame to what was done to us, no one deserves that kind of treatment, nor did I. But it happened among other things and I refuse to hide behind it.

    What doesn't kill us makes us stronger...if all those ugly things hadn't happened to me I wouldn't be who or where I am today. I have the most wonderful 24 year old son from that marriage and I wouldn't trade him for the world. Or the upbringing he received. I was determined to put a thoughtful, considerate, caring man into the world and I've done my job well. Made some mistakes along the way, but he turned out awesome.

    The wonderful man I married came from the knowledge of what I would NEVER, EVER tolerate again. He's thoughtful, kind, considerate, loving, funny, gentle and my best friend in the entire world.

    My husband adopted my son when he was a little boy so both he and our daughter were raised in a loving, fun, safe and secure home that welcomed them as people. They know my story because I refused to put naive kids out into the world the way I stepped out after high school.

    Although it took me a few years to put all those "demons" away, I have successfully done it. Years ago I couldn't even sit anywhere without an escape route in my mind. Had to be near a door to relax etc... But they're all gone now thanks to the loving patience of my husband.

    I truly feel that I live a blessed life which may sound kind of odd since I do have many medical issues and a violently abused past. But I am truly blessed.

    I honestly feel that we as women need to help and support each other. A wonderful formerly abused woman helped me get out of my situation and I swore that if and when I could do something for others that I would. We all need to.
    So I try to help when I can and if my story brings someone else hope, then I offer it gladly.

    Thank you for letting me know that it does...

    Nancy B.
  4. orachel

    orachel New Member

    One's experiences (in my opinion)shape the person that we are to be. I have also had some horrific tragedies in my life, but we do get past them by seeing the way they've influenced our lives and made us stronger. I'm so blessedly relieved that your current marriage and your wonderful children have inspired you to such courage and "peace" with your past. NOONE should have to suffer like that. But people do every single day. Nothing to do with it but allow our experiences to assist others.

    Give your husband a hug from me (a total stranger, I know!). But I also know how hard it can be to get past something traumatic and be able to trust and love openly again....clearly this guy is one in a million to have given you such a blessing as the ability to take another life partner after such a bad experience.

    You are a wonderful woman. I'm glad you didn't delete your posts. As we all know, there is something to being "scared straight". Its terror stories like yours (and the fact that you made it to the other side a healthier happier more secure woman than you might have ever been able to imagine while suffering abuse!) that allow women who suffer daily, but never allow themselves to believe that it could get "that bad"... it empowers others to make the necessary changes to protect themselves and their children.

    Huge hugs!
    Rachel