Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by kirbycat, Aug 22, 2006.

  1. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    How often do you hear..But you look sooo good! Ok, First,at 6:30am, I carefully get out of bed, muscle spasms abound, I head for the bathroom, if I can remember where I put it, the light nearly knocks me out, I go through the morning ritual,shower, tooth brush,etc. Then I flop back into the bed because I am utterly exausted. Then,when and if I can recover from that, I waddle (think Fred Sanford)into the kitchen and make coffee, in the mean time, I take a barrel full of useless meds. Then I savor the coffee, give myself awhile to relax from all that. Then check the computer for emails and my business dealings. Ok, I'm pretty tired again, but I go in and try to hold my arms up long enough to do hair, then some makeup and get dressed. Ok, its after 8:00am. I try to get out and do alittle errand running and usually chiropractor. I really want to go to Walmart, but I know that I either (1)can't go in and walk that distance)or (2)ride the scooter thing (I'm not ready for that yet, vanity)so I don't go. Then you stop at a smaller store with higher prices and you always run into someone from your healthy life and they always say in the most condesending manner "but you look soooo good". All that work I did negated my whole disorder. It doesn't matter that it took me all morning and a considerable amount of strength out of me, just to "look soooo good".We all need to get one of those halloween masks that looks like a giant tumor coming out of your brain, just to let everyone know that what we feel is real!!!

    If they only knew........smoke and mirrors
    Just ranting,
  2. sjogrens

    sjogrens New Member

    I know what you mean. You spend all your energy trying to look good and normal just so you can trick your subconscience into feeling normal. It always back fires. Then the thought of going to walmart or target or better the mall (which I use to LOVE!)seems like a bad dream.The kind where your in a hallway and it gets bigger and bigger or longer. Or like someone tied weights on me and and a rope on me and they are pulling me back from attemping to walk towards the mall. It basically seems like a chore to go do something I use to love. When I finally make it there, Everyone says your looking good, Or your looking better, Or they just give you the disbelief look and talk behind your back. I know exactly what your saying you described it excactly. Painfull arms and all.
    talk to you later, Lisa
  3. kbak

    kbak Member

    That has been my biggest complaint the last couple of weeks.

    I've told my DH that if I heard that one more time I'm going to scream.

    Now to be fair to the general public, it is hard for people to see how we're really feeling. It's not like the flu where you actually look sick. We can feel terrible, but look fine.

    I've tried to explain to people that when someone has cancer they can look perfectly fine but no one would ever say to them "but you look fine", suggesting that maybe their not really sick.

    Before I became ill, I never really understood this DD either. It's really a public relation problem. We don't get the limelight this DD needs.

    But yes, it's VERY frustrating.


  4. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

  5. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    You may have thought it was just ranting, but you hit the nail on the head with that.

    That is what my life was like when I was trying to work. It's horrible when it takes you 3 hours to get ready because you have to take short naps in between.
  6. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

    I just got told how good I look yesterday when we got togehter w/ Ron's family. they know I've been really sick and havent' made it to alot of functions, and they understand, and believe. But they are being nice and trying to comfort me. I don't take it as bad at all, women like to be complimented, and I'm still a woman, even if I have FM.

  7. rockgor

    rockgor Well-Known Member

    Many times in life just the passing of time will solve problems.

    Believe Me!!! When you get to be my age no one will tell you that you look good!

  8. spacee

    spacee Member

    I nominate him. He is wise beyond his years. Ok, maybe not. Tehehe.

    Love YOU!

  9. THE funny thing is since I got sick I can almost Identify if someone has fibro.They have this anquish look on their face.They also tend to look swollen in the eyes.Ruthie
  10. blueski31717

    blueski31717 New Member

    and they are the one 1/2 way to the mall entrance in the parking lot and just had to stop and rest before going on. If you ever see a lady just standing in the parking lot of the mall holding onto a shopping basket(raising hand) thats me! No one here at work knew I had fibro but one person, just for the reason I did not want those comments and I have had fibro for over 10 years. Oh well can't please everyone I guess they want us to look sick? lol
  11. sues1

    sues1 New Member

    Dear one.......i do not want to upset you, but help you.

    PLEASE....try a electric scooter. I would not for the longest time. I used the carts as a walker really. But I finally could not even do that.

    My DH kept telling me to use them. My pride would not allow this. I suffered and also would not stay in a store long.

    Finally I did. I had no choice. I could not walk far. WOW. They are easy to manuver around and I can enjoy doing a little shopping now days. It has given me wings and freedom.

    Once I got use to it ..it opened a whole new world to me. I even got a personal one since to use where they do not have the scooters.

    Not all scooters are equal in using. So try another place if you do not like the first try.

    I feel like a kid on a new bike that just learned to use it.
    How nice to be able to enjoy life instead of suffering. I could kick myself now days for wasting those times I could of used one in the past.

    I also leave my seat and stand to study items in a store. But I do not have to walk much with one.

    Love and gentle hugs and many Blessings..........Susan
    [This Message was Edited on 08/24/2006]
  12. Lolalee

    Lolalee New Member

    Cathy, you know, it really doesn't bother me anymore when someone says I look good. I think I got over that because a friend of mine, who is very sweet and cares very much for me, would say that to me all the time. I'd tell her how awful I feel and she's say "Oh but you look good". I realized that it was her way of trying to cheer me up. She didn't doubt that I was sick, she just didn't know what else to do for me. I realized that she wasn't doing anything wrong by saying that, just the opposite. I just needed to change my perception.

    As for the electric-powered shopping carts at stores, I also got over my vanity about that. I just don't care what other people think. I do what I have to do to make my life better. And, really most people are nicer and more sympathetic when they see you sitting in an electric cart. No matter how "good" you look, they get the message when they see you sitting instead of standing.

    But, I'll be honest with you, even an electric-powered shopping cart does not make WalMart any easier. I still go into a flare if I go into that store.....way too much stimulation....way too big!!!

  13. Marta608

    Marta608 Member

    Hi, Cathy. I still don't know how you got my picture for your profile - and we wonder why people don't believe we're sick??* lol

    I asked myself the same question you have here until I finally realized that looking "so good" is the choice I make! I could probably, if I had the energy, get a job in Hollywood doing makeup for the stars, I'm so good at it now. After so many years getting up, showered, doing hair and makeup and putting on my work duds I just can't make myself schlep out with no makeup, hair in a mess and my bunny slippers on. It's like the last thing, you know? Maybe someday but not yet.

    Since I won't quit doing those things, I just quit telling people I was sick. Those who need to know, know. We can't have sympathy and look good too and I choose looking good.

    *You really could ditch the dress though..... ;>)

  14. Ranigar

    Ranigar Member

    you look so good.I do mind but you look so good.Grrr
  15. sjogrens

    sjogrens New Member

    I think when the doctor says sure looks like your looking good. When I could be feeling at my worst! Some times it seems they are ready to call treatment done(they never do). Even though they may not mean that. Or they may think I am faking (maybe just paronoid) because of my meds. I also think the doctors are boosting their own ego's into hoping their treatments and meds are working. I do give the doctors credit for finding the correct combination of meds to make me comfortable. Some times making my self look good is tricking myself into feeling better. The problem is I do this and everyone else is fooled. Some times it is a compliment but most times I feel I have to explain myself. The other thing is I don't want the doctor to write any false notes in my records. I worked really hard for my disability, and I need my records to speak the truth not assumptions for future disability renewals. And for family and friends if I know they believe me I take it as a compliment because they know how hard i try. I m probably reading to much into this.
  16. littleleafhopper

    littleleafhopper New Member

    Hey Guys,

    I really liked this post! I love good satire, one of my favorite shows is Greys Anatomy, and this post made me laugh. Humor with the sting of truthful feelings just under the surface, or right out in the front at times.

    Kirbycat, I thought it was really clever, and my how I've felt that way at times! We just fake it til we make it!

  17. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

    On the one hand, I hate the fact that all of you have had this same problem. On the other, I'm glad I'm not the only one too.
    Just yesterday, I was out and I went into the eye doctor just fine. When I came out, the heat here in Georgia is 100+ humidity. It feels like 110. I was in the parking lot, it was so hot, my legs went to jelly. I thought I was going to have to sit down in the middle of the road. I was thinking, "could I hitchhike about 100 feet?" I was getting panicky. The longer it took me to get there the hotter is was getting. I finally got over to a car and held up from car to car until I got to mine. Oh, yeah, this "lady"(i use it loosly) told me not to touch her car, When I got to my car and got the AC on, I pulled behind her car where she was sitting and flipped her off.
    I know it was wrong but I couldn't help my self.
    Could you imagine coming around a parking lot and seeing someone that "looks sooo good" sitting on the 120 degree asphalt dying in white capri's?????

    Just another day on this crazy ride.
  18. kirbycat

    kirbycat New Member

  19. adberens

    adberens New Member

    I have given up always fixing my hair and make up just to go to the store. So many times I would shower and try to fix myself up and end up back in bed and unable to run errands only to try the whole thing again the next time. I have gotten to the point now that if I am not up to the whole routine (most of the time), I just brush my hair and teeth and call it good. I have found people will say, "you look tired today" and I will tell them today is not one of my best. The first time this happenend I was devistated but then I realized they were being honest and so was I. I get the important things done now. I still fight to go through the whole routine to go out to eat or such but I give myself a break some of the time.
  20. MsE

    MsE New Member

    And usually it is followed by a quizzical look, as in: "Is this woman really sick, or is she a crack-pot or what?"

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