Called in sick today..what a response!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by JPach007, Oct 10, 2005.

  1. JPach007

    JPach007 New Member

    As many of you know I am a Vet I am using my muscles alot to hold all sizes of animals.
    My boss knows about the Fibro. I emailed him at 6:43 this morning explaining my body just hurt too bad and I wouldnt be in. I also called and spoke to the receptionist at 8 am..
    The response I got on the email was terrible. His reply was..."What ever."
    I really dont understand this. Up until now he has been supportive and even did some research to understand more.
    I am so mad!
  2. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    That is when I started getting nervous my job was in jeapardy... and I was right. I was told that they understood that I was sick, but they had a business to run. I'm still devastated and that was earlier this year.

    I'm looking for work, but it sure isn't easy.

    Good luck.
  3. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    I think the other posters are right, you should keep a record of what is said and when, when you are off etc.

    Maybe you should raise this with him when you go back to work, at least you will know what exactly is going on in his head and where you stand.

    I hope he has a better attitude when you return to work.

  4. CatsKimber

    CatsKimber New Member's like we're being punished for being sick - something that we have no control over.

    Anyway, I wanted to say thanks for answering my Ambien question. I feel better about trying it now. Well... I did until I read that you left your car running for 2 hours for no reason, that is. LOL just teasing you. wink wink

    I posted a post to you a few days ago, or maybe it was last night??? LOL My short-term memory is shot! It was about my husband accusing me of "looking" at other men - I wrote it after I read what you had said about yours doing that too. That sure did make me mad.

    Well... nice to meet you. Take care and have a great day!
  5. lauralea443

    lauralea443 New Member

    to document, but also he may just have had a bad morning/night, so don't read too much into it. And DONT feel guilty at all. Do get mad over it, it's his problem not yours..

  6. lauralea443

    lauralea443 New Member

    to document, but also he may just have had a bad morning/night, so don't read too much into it. And DONT feel guilty at all. Do get mad over it, it's his problem not yours..

  7. JPach007

    JPach007 New Member

    I cant believe the tech told you to get a smaller dog! OMG! I went to your profile and love your picture! The kitten is cute, but the dog is beautiful!

    As I'm typing this, I have my African Grey crawling on me, and my cat on my lap, and my lab at my feet!

  8. shelbo

    shelbo New Member

    shouldn't have been.. I decided enought was enough....I called in ill and my doctor signed me off for a month and when that elapsed another and when that elapsed another...I rang in to touch base and my employer's response astounded and outraged me!

    She actually said that I for all she know I was ok and looking for another job! I was furious and told her so.
    This was some one who knew I wasn't lazy. I had ended up there as a teaching asst. (with kids with behavioural and emotional problems...from attempted suicides to those who couldn't cope in a conventional school due to severe get the picture) after giving up a teaching course. It was meant to be a stopgap until I knew what I wanted to do next. Well, my boss actually asked me if I would like them to pay for me to do a teaching course again this time to its end with a guaranteed job at the school.

    She could obviously see how dedicated I was (I'd often be there long after the teachers had gone home) and she said this to me! I couldn't believe it. And....the worst of it...she actually claimed to have a close friend suffering from M.E.!!

    Keep a diary of every incident, snide remark, innappropriate comment, unachievable request (to get a sick person out many bosses give a workload that even a healthy person couldn't cope with, then when the sick employee can't fulfil the workload they try to use it to get them out!)

    Mine is an example of how easily and dramatically an employer can warned!

    Love Shelbo
  9. ilovecats94

    ilovecats94 New Member

    by the attitude of your Vet. Sooo many people just don't have any compassion for this illness. I, too, think that you'll end up losing your job. I bet the Vet is already trying to interview other people to take your place.

    You need to keep a diary of what is said, etc. I'm sorry you are in this position.

    I'm glad I don't have to work, and I really have a lot of respect for those who do.

  10. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    Hi There,

    My first thought was that the vet was busy when you called and miffed because you bothered him instead of waiting for the reception desk to open.

    If this is the first time something like this has happened with him about your fm, I hope you can get past your hurt feelings and go on enjoying your job.

    Just be wary of future incidents that are similar.

    When I took our cat in after a cat fight, I had her in heavy crate. I went in and asked for someone who could help me by carrying her in. No problem. Same on the way out. I told them I had a bad back. I thought it would be too much to tell them my whole body was bad.

    If the heavy lifting of large animals gets to be too much, you might go to a cat only vet to see about work.

    I'm sorry it was so hurtful today!

    Take care!

  11. twister425

    twister425 New Member

    Hi jpach
    I am a vet asst.and i know what you mean about tryring to hold the big dogs.I have cut my hours down to 20 a week and still doesnt help. all i do know is dental cleanings of course i cant do those to wellanymore. I work for quite a jerk as well and I have started a journal. people just dont understand this DD do they? Good Luck!!

    PS wheree do live? I'm from Michigan
  12. razorqueen

    razorqueen Member

    emails you send and he sends you. That way you can prove his lack of understanding with his lovely "whatever" Grrr. I feel for you!
  13. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    Did he say it like a real Valley Girl? You could say, "Did you mean that like What ever!!!!! or What everrrr?????? or What ever :)" The sentiment is not exactly clear is it?
    I think it harks from the old Type A personality that all (nearly all) Fm'rs suffer from. We try so hard and then we are so sensitive and then we get "Whatever".
    I am going to have a fit here in a minute.@#$%^&*
  14. orachel

    orachel New Member

    It is certainly possible that they may be looking at your time off as a liability, and that you may have to fight for your rights in the future.

    However, I'd also say that its possible that your boss was just having a really crummy day. He may have been aware that the schedule was extra busy that day, or he may have had plans to take off golfing that afternoon...who knows. But it does sound like he's tried to be pretty supportive in the past, which is rare. I wouldn't make to big of a public deal about it, just tell him that you appreciate his understanding (all men are suckers for flattery as far as I'm concerned) and that you're feeling much better. Then document that as well! You want to protect yourself, and I know how hard it is to hear something so flippin inconsiderate and unexpected from a source you expect to be somewhat understanding (ooooh....believe me I know!). Feels like he punched you in the gut, huh?

    But again, you never want to jump to conclusions, esp based on a one word response....just feel him out, but don't "dwell" on it with him. Let him lead if the conversation goes that way. But always be aware of your rights. I don't know if you've already exceeded your sick time, but if not, and its a part of your benefit package, then he really has nothing to say about the matter.

    Good luck...I know how hard that can be! I've dealt with it from Unum Provident, my employer, my physical medicine doc, my pcp......all in last week and a half! I'm getting a persecution complex over here! LOL

  15. JLH

    JLH New Member

    I'm sorry you got such a response from your boss.

    They all seem so supportive until you call in sick one day too many!

    I would be anxious to see how he treats you when you return to work!
  16. elizajane40

    elizajane40 New Member

    Document everything! Keep the email he sent you!!!!! I was out on Short Term Disability for Fibro and a ruptured disk in my neck. When I returned I was told that perhaps I should find a position elsewhere. Somewhere that was a better fit. This was after 3 years of employment, 3 years of raises and 3 years of great reviews. It was BS. Their HR didn't advise me of my FMLA rights. So they got away with it. I was too sick and too discouraged to fight. Be CAREFUL. Sad to say, you cannot trust anyone but yourself in this situation.
  17. SoxFan

    SoxFan New Member

    You said that he had been supportive previously - you may have just caught him at a bad time, in a bad mood, etc.

    Don't read too much into it and get too upset until you talk with him face to face about it. Let him know how upset you were by his flip response.
  18. Jo29

    Jo29 New Member

    I have often heard it said that you can tell how someone really treats people by how they treat their animals.

    So if your employer is treating you like this, is he treating the animals in his practice the same way?

    Just wondering.

    I am so sorry that you have treated with such disrespect. I may be terrible for saying this, but sometimes when I am treated badly because of this DD, I wish that someday that person has to feel the same kind of pain that I do.

    Then I go and pray for forgiveness. Ha

  19. JPach007

    JPach007 New Member

    Hello all,
    Thanks for all of your support!
    I went to work this morning...As I was finishing up walking dogs my boss asks me if I can come help him outside with a cow. He was all laughing and happy. When we got out there, I told him I needed to talk to him. I said I had a concern someone else was reading/replying to his email because the "whatever" response was not something I expected from him. He said he was sorry and said he has just been frustrated over the last 4 days and I was the icing on the cake.
    I guess I'll buy that since his wife is a Vet there also, and I know what a %*&^( she is, I wouldnt want to work/live with her day and night either!
    Oh, and did I mention that I overheard his wife talking to an employee on the phone this am (and we only have about 7 employees). She told them, "Well, maybe you just need to take a leave or something." That tells me she will bend over backwards to help some, but not me!

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