Can anyone tell me what I have?

Hi. Thanx for reading. I'm trying to figure out if I have depression or what. I'm a poor college student so I have no insurance. So congratulations, by reading this you are now my doctor. (joke) Anyway, what happens to me is that every once in a while if I keep thinking negative thoughts my mood get's worse and worse until I feel bad (mentally) And once I am in this state I feel like I can't get out of it. Kind of like being trapped in a bad feeling. It's kind of like I am at the mercy of my own thinking. If I think bad thoughts I know what is headed my way. And once it hits I will be stuck feeling like that for a while. So is this depression? Does this ring a bell for anyone? Thanx for taking the time.

Sorry you are going through this. I cannot tell you if you have depression, but I can tell you what has helped me. Whenever I find myhself beginning to think negatively, I just think "CANCEL" and try to turn my mind to somethng else,or distract myself. It's funny, but it works. This has really helped me, I hope it helps you. Being in college, you are using your mind a lot. Now is the time to learn to conrol it. Take heart. You ae not alone in your depression. Maybe, if you are worried about this, you could see a counselor at school. Whatever you choose to do, good luck. Remember, we are here. Terry.

>To Whom It May Concern:

I do no know if i am depressed or just going though a blue spell. I am feeling really alone right now. My husband is in Bagdad, Irac. I miss him very much, and even though i talk to him through the internet, i still feel as though i am not married i am a young wife (19). I always feel as though i should be doing something each day but when i am not working or going to college, a kind of free day, I tend to stay home and clean. I love to dance but i havent gone to a club since my husband was home, cuz we made a deal, and we always seal our deals with a kiss, so you see my delema i realy cant do anything. Ex: I had one of my guy buddy over, just a friend, and my roomates told my mother that i was cheating on my husband, i would never do such a thing i love my husband very much. So, now that i realy cant have friends over cuz the family will think that i am cheating on my husband. so, now that i have no friends and no social life, i just stay home and clean, scrubbing my floors to perfection. I am a person that has to have every thing clean and orderly all the time, where my roomates lack very much. so i am always cleaning and working and studing for college. i am always crying and eating, i just lost alot of weight and i dont want to gain any more. I am to tired to go exercise and i am eating to cover my feelings i guess that sounds weird and i just am so , i dont know. I was hoping some one could write my email add. to let me know what is wrong with me! Some one please write i call out to all that have any answers or things to do that can help me get though the next few months.

-very sad
(email edited out per rules)

Holland

You are doing too much work. Our Creator meant for us to have some fun too. Can you work anything out with your husband that you can go to dance, at least. I am a dancer, ballroom, and go to singles dances where there are no pick ups, nothing out of regular, ordinary dancing. This is good for you and will raise those endorphins. Endorphins are what make our moods better. Don't keep eating your feelings. Do something different. You need to get your mind on something else. Dancing does it for me. I am 64 and have danced for past 20 years, after divorce, hospitalizations, etc. It has gotten me thru many a bad time. Also, if there are any sports you like, like swimming, etc., maybe you can try these. Try not to stay in the mindset you are because you will not be happy for your husband. Good luck with this. I hope it helps.
[This Message was Edited on 09/11/2004]

Jazz, just wanted to second that advice about "thought stopping." That's when you deliberately tell yourself "STOP" when you have distracting or negative thoughts. It may not work right away, but in the long run, it can help you. And perhaps seeing a counselor might help as well. Do you have CFIDS or FM, because I know it can be challenging to see a therapist when you have one or both of those illnesses, as many therapists who don't understand them will try to convince you they aren't real. Trust me, I went through this many years ago (I've had CFIDS for 20 years and FM for at least 9), and am now a semi-trained therapist myself (will finish my Master's when I can) and have training in stress management and hypnotherapy. If you see a counselor, you might want to bring in some information on the illness if they don't understand your limitations.

Also, often times, if you are at a university, you can get about 8 free counseling sessions through student services.

Good luck!

Holland, I agree you are doing too much work. I hope that you can find an outlet for some joy in your life. It is of course more difficult with these kinds of illnesses, and your situation sounds complicated. If you can find a way, you might want to consider swimming (it can help with the pain) or, and this I strongly suggest, even if you are tired, some mild weight-lifting. That avoids the problems with CFIDS and aerobic exercise, but it will still get your endorphins going and help combat muscle weakness. You can always turn on the music real loud and do some light dancing and VERY LIGHT weight lifting (like 2 pounds, few reps, if you aren't used to it). Of course, that can make the muscle pain worse in the short run, or if you try to do too much, but if you can handle a little of it, it might help.

Most of all, I suggest you have some contact with people other than your family. Stop by here or at the chat room if you have a hard time getting out- there's a depression room, too, if you don't have CFIDS or FM.

I know that, regarding depression, sometimes diet is very important, and if you are eating a lot, probably it isn't veggies you are eating. I know that, for me, cutting out sugar (I don't have artificial sweeteners, either, because of the side effects) as much as possible and eating healthy can help with some of the depression. Also, be careful of those Atkins type diets. They can deplete your brain of Serotonin, which can make you more depressed. Good old fashioned non-processed carbs like brown rice and potatoes, within limits, can help replenish Serotonin.

Take care. You have a hard road, but there are many good support people on this site.

Hi! I can't help but wonder if Obsessive Compulsive disorder has ever been mentioned. Some of the activities you stated, like the cleaning and the thoughts make OCD come to mind. Perhaps your doctor could discuss this with you. I know from my family that there are excellent meds out there that help greatly, and the freedom from the thought processes alone gives you energy. There is a great book called BRAIN LOCK that you might want to check out. Maybe it would help you to determine if you want to pursue this with your physician.
I wish you great luck and patience with yourself.
[This Message was Edited on 10/25/2004]

Since you are a college student, go to their Health Clinic, or nurse, or whatever services they provide. Discuss this with them.

The colleges that my children went to always had some type of free clinic that they provided.

If you need medication, maybe they can find a way for you to get it at a reasonable price.

Would your parents be willing to help witht he cost of a doctor visit, or medication, if needed?

If you are not living with your parents when not in school, and you are considered self-sufficient, maybe you could apply for welfare and/or Medicaid services which would pay for it.

College is stressful enough. You need to get help to feel good about yourself. Since I am not a professional, I can not say if you are depressed or not. But I do feel you need to talk with a professional about it. Start with your free college services and go from there.

Good luck.

Jazz, no doubt that negative thoughts can definitely cause you to be in a depressed state.

Do some research on the web of Dr. Masaru Emoto's work on water crystals and the effects of positive thinking and "good" thoughts on the crystals of water. AFter doing that research, realize how much of our bodies are composed of water.

You might also try Mercola's site, type in Emotional Freedom Technique. This tapping technique on meridian points on your body has been very beneficial for some people. When you feel yourself starting to feel negatively, do some tapping routines and positive affirmations and see if that might help you.

It's a free download from his site, and he gives detailed instructions and examples on how to do it and where the tapping points are.

These are extremely beneficial. My husband and I have both been tapping away for several years now. My husband uses it for his asthma and stress and other things. Worth a try.

Sbilek

it sounds like u may have depression or it may be anxity my partner has it and it sounds like the simptoms he gets u have to try and think positive thoughts i know its hard but if you work at it it really helps

If you're a college student, I believe you pay a health fee as part of your tuition; your college should have a health clinic or counselling for you for free or at a very low cost. You could have a mild to moderate depression that might be relieved by therapy and/or medication. I'm sure a lot of us here can relate to your feelings of being stuck with bad thoughts. It is hard and can feel very isolating. I think the best thing for you to do is reach out to someone, and I'm sure you'll feel better. Like I said, check with your college, they should have resources to help you.

Best wishes,
Jessica

I do think you need to go to a doctor as if it is depression there is alot they can do for you to get rid of your sypmtoms. Try to look around for a clinic or ask your counselor to help you get the right medical attention as depression can be horrible to live with. And yes I have been diagonoised with "Major Depression" No matter what sometimes I can not kick myself out of the mood I get in. There are times I feel a deep hopeless feeling. I do have trouble with the antidepression medicane as some make me very tired. Good luck and seek out help. Bobby