Can I cry on your shoulders?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Tigger57, Jan 20, 2006.

  1. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Alright, as some of you know, I’ve been trying really hard at this job. There is a lot I can tolerate for a paycheck… besides the daily pain and fatigue. There are really two things I can’t handle… people who think I’m stupid, and people who treat me like I’m stupid. I’m afraid I’m dealing with both right now and add to that the fact that I’m a “woman”. It’s getting pretty damn old at this point.

    All of this and I don’t even make as much as I did when I was on unemployment! It makes me want to puke. I suppose I’ll just spend another weekend in bed instead. I still haven’t gotten over this “flare from hell” and I know this does not help matters. Every so often I get horrible flares where my whole body swells and the pain is awful. That's been this week.

    So, I’ll sip my wine and try to forget they exist for two days. Oh, did I say the only other “girl” there has been there for 10 years. Even she can’t figure out why.

    Thanks, you can return to your normal programming now.


  2. Mar19

    Mar19 New Member


    Too bad we didn't live closer geographically, I'd gladly lend you my shoulder.

    I'd also come over and bake you a luscious, decadent cake and bring over some yummy flavored tea and we could talk and laugh -- a regular pj party.

    Wouldn't that be great for all of us? I think we'd all fare a bit better if we could just get away and commiserate and laugh -- mostly laugh and forget the real world for a couple of hours, know what I mean?

    I'm sorely in need of that sort of thing myself, to tell the truth. :(

    At any rate, Tig, know that lots of us will be thinking about you, and praying for you...

    Hey! Did I tell you my dh surprised me with a lovely new mood ring?? When I'm in a good mood it turns a lovely shade of blue. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves an ugly red mark on his forehead!!! :) :) :)

    Love and laughter,
  3. kch64

    kch64 New Member


    LOL WASN'T EVEN GOOD ENOUGH HERE. I've got tears streaming down my face. That mood ring joke was hilarious.

    Thank you So much for that great laugh.

    Kendra[This Message was Edited on 01/20/2006]
  4. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    I quit crying from laughing now. Didn't mean to ignore your post.

    There is a big-time good ole' boy network where I work. Since its the Military, its really bad.

    Many folks think that since women can be in the work force that it doesn't exist any longer, but its still there, someplaces its hiding and others its more obvious.

    Just keep your confidence up. Sometimes that stuff and start to erode your confidence. I'm going through that now.

    I hope you have a good weekend and I hope things turn around for you.

  5. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    You are too funny. Thank you, I needed the chuckle!

    Love ya!
  6. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    It's just so hard to handle the BS when you are struggling every day to just make it to work and then feel like crap when you're there.

    On top of that, I still may lose my house, because of the income that I've lost from last year. When I worked at the turf farm, I was making about $200 more per WEEK. That is where my budget was at. Now I'm trying to get heating and/or electric assistance. But I make just too much.

    Like many of us... I am the working poor.
  7. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    Where are you working Now? What are you doing now?

    How many people are in the office?

    Tigger, you sound like a real tough cookie.

    Its got to be very hard. $200.00 a week is a large chunk of cash, so I can see where you'd be having trouble.

    Isn't it terrible that you can't get assistance unless you have absolutely nothing? It doesn't make sense to me.

    If you'll allow me to get off topic for a minute. I got a call the other night from the Police Association asking me for donations for families of policeman who were killed in the line of duty.

    I told the guy "I can't give, I have my own financial issues right now." But, don't they have insurance?

    I gotta worry about me first. Let the policeman buy life insurance like the rest of us.

    Sorry ..but seeing how your struggling, its like why dont the people who are really trying, get the help they need.


    [This Message was Edited on 01/20/2006]
  8. JLH

    JLH New Member

    Sorry you are going through such a rough time at work right now.

    I'm like you--I hate it when the men at work think you are stupid and treat you that way. I started out as a secretary in the late '60s. I had to dust my bosses' offices each morning, clean their ashtrays all during the day, get them coffee (more like "fetch" the coffee--felt like a dog being trained), etc.

    My boss was at least 25 years older than I. Well, I sat outside his office for years listening to him tell people on the phone "Oh, the girl did that," or "I'll have the girl send you a copy," or "Hold on, I'll ask the girl."

    At the beginning of my 30 year career in this corporation, I was very reserved, never questioned "the boss", etc. (Boy did things change over 30 years!!!! LOL). Anyway, I finally got up enough nerve to go in the boss's office and sit down and tell him that I wanted to discuss something with him. I told him that I was sick and tired of being called "the girl." I said that I have a name and I want it used in every place that he says "girl"!!

    I asked him how he would like it if every time I had to refer to him if I said "Oh yes, I'll tell the boy." He got the point and then finally started telling people "I'll get Janet to send you a copy." Then people all over the corporation finally learned who I was and what my name was!!!!! I thought it was time to start opening my mouth more often!!! Boy, I was young and stupid then!!

    But, as I grew with the company and learned every stick of info about it and then started training some of the new young bucks who would come in, I was resented since I was a female training some young pup with a fresh new degree who thought he was tough stuff -- but I had a mouth on me by then and they would only treat me as stupid but once!

    Oh what memories. But my old stories don't help you now. So sorry about rattling on and on -- I just can relate to what position you are in and having to put up with people like that. It's a real bummer.

    Hope you can hang in there, dear.

    Much love,
  9. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    K - I'm working in an accounting firm. There are four partners and two of them are in their 60s. They hired a kid right out of college when he did his internship there. Trust me, I have nothing against this kid... he not a smart a$$, he's very nice and he understands what is going on. On that note, he's relieved of my wrath. The 60 year old guys are the worst... then there is the chief financial guy.. he's next... then there is this other CPA who does understand. He was going out the door the other day and noticed that everyone was at my desk trying to figure out the "problem"... all I said to him was "Please shoot me know." He told me to "hold on because you're tough." I'm not tough anymore. :-( Yes, years ago I was. It hurts enough that I went from running someone else's company to being a "glorified receptionist" at a hourly pay that I can't even live on. The other girl there is in her 30s and has been there for 10 years... she also has a husband who is in a union job. Big difference. There is also a lot of things she doesn't understand... she just does it that way because she was "told" too. I don't operate that way. I need to know why.

    Janet: At one time I would open my mouth, but I'm too sick for the fight and I need a job. I'm hoping after awhile... and if my brother can find me some good refinancing... then I'll start looking again. I need some stability. I went from one new job to another new job in a months time between Oct. 31 and then in Dec. It was too much for me... the stress of not knowing how certain things are done... and everything that goes with that. I forgot how stressful new jobs can be (especially in an disorganized company). I worked at my old job for 10 years. When I got sick and had to take days off, I became useless for them. It was a husband and wife and the wife didn't want to be there and the husband worked out in the field. So I quickly became useless. Then she hired her sister and told me not to come back unless I was 100%. Will any of us ever be 100% again? I pray every day and night that we will, but the reality is we won't.

    Thanks again guys for being a huge part of my support system. My brother and sister-in-law don't understand at all. That's frustrating especially since they are my only family. I'll never find a boyfriend or husband at this point because unless he shows up miraculously at my door (perhaps the UPS man... no don't have any money to buy anything) it ain't gonna happen.
    Tigger (who is facing very harsh realities lately)
  10. Rosiebud

    Rosiebud New Member

    now I can put a face to you, lovely photo!

    I know you're well educated and experienced and should, at your age, be appreciated and in a position where you can use your skills and education for a decent salary.

    It's the same in the UK - you reach a certain age and no-one wants to know.

    I had to give up a job from heaven and I know if I ever get well enough to work again I will probably find myself in the same position as you.

    There are so many people in jobs now that dont have a clue and so many older people who could do their jobs standing on their heads. How come companies havent realised this yet?

    I hope you can stick this job out til a better one comes along and your health improves.

  11. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Thank you rosiebud. I just keep crying on and off. I think part is fibro, part CFS, part... oh I hate saying this one... starting menopause! I need that like I need a hole in my head. Sadly, it seems to be true.

    I know I'm no dummy. I ran somone elses company for 10 years before they decided my "illness" was "unacceptable" to them. They were never there... if I got sick they wife had to be there and she resented it.

    When I had my surgery last year even my customers sent me get well cards, so I know I'm not stupid, and I know that people and I connect.

    I also know that confronting the a$$ the other night would not have been good. I was far to emotional at that point. I will have my day, and I will do it in a way that they will get the message, but I won't be a maniac. As much as things aren't the way I like it, it is a paycheck!

    I want a majic pill to make me (and all of us) to feel better.
  12. Tigger57

    Tigger57 New Member

    Do any of you swell too?

  13. kch64

    kch64 New Member

    Hi Tigger.

    I don't swell a lot. I have started swelling a little this year, and I'm in my early 40s. I think I drink to much soda.

    My mom always said soda would make you swell.

    Hugs and hang in there.


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