can someone just talk to me ? PLEASE HELPSAD

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by blkkat, Feb 25, 2007.

  1. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    hi i just really need to know that theirs someone even if ill never meet them that they could just tell me ,its ok, and not judge me. i seem so alone .anyone else feel this way? kids dont want to hear your sad, husband lately just rolls his eyes,you see on top of FM,CFS-you name it pain i think its menapause time!!! i cant stand myself! can anyone relate?? you know its bad when the people you thought are their for you arent,i think thats what hurts the most! i feel i give and give to everyone, i listen to hubbys day,so im his sounding board, which i dont mind and kinda like. i listen to my kids,and wow im glad im not a teenager,i listen to friends cry and i think i give confort but when its my turn, they dont have the time and say, well your having a bad day so ill let you go .isnt friendship a 2 way thing??? im sorry im just so unhappy, yes im on prozac. right know its hard to type cause my 9 month minpin (ISABELLA )PUPPY shes up hung over my right shoulder licking the heck out of hy face, you see she thinks its all about her and if your not paying attn; to her she gets very up set. im glad i got her, she does help. i love her! some dont get why i got her shes a handful and alot of work but she is their even on the worst of days. i wouldnt give her up for all the money in the world!! i feel if it wasnt for jesus,my ISABELLA and this site,it would be very hard to stay. no i promise i wouldnt ever do something bad to myself but thats just how alone in all this i feel, really we dont have anyone!!! and thats sad,so very sad!!! GOD BLESS -BLKKAT
  2. SleepyMama

    SleepyMama New Member

    *Big hugs* I'm having a brain fog moment, and can't seem to type anytyhing good back, but I did manage to read your post and I'm sorry you're feeling so down.
  3. GigglePoet

    GigglePoet New Member

    Blkkat,
    Sister in Christ, I'm here and I care and understand. You can count me as your friend. I am in the same spot you are and find myself with no one I can really trust. I like you give my all and wish so badly for a friend who would treat me as I treat them. I to am only here due to clinging to the hem of Christ. He is mine and I am his and he has been there to encourage me on through the fight and also there is a scripture that says, "Having done all to stand,stand" this is what I have done the last 20 years. I know whatever happens in my life it first my pass through the hands of God and I know that Jesus is constantly interceding for me,for us his Children. My brain fog has been so bad that I can't even think to pray but sometimes when my brain is working I just pray, Jesus please Pray for me and I leave it in his hands, I know that this prayer is answered. I have CFIDS,FM,EI,EBV and HHV6,Thyroid disease,and Major Depression. I have also had melenoma. I am a people person and the isolation and the lack of connection has next to killed me in and of itself. I have a husband and 3 children,2 finally out of the next and a teenager whom I hope to be able to go the distance with. My husband has been so supportive over the many years and kept our family going doing the laundry and cooking. He has never said an unkind thing to me about my illness and I am so blessed in that way but he seems to be missing the Empathy switch and we have little communication and connection,we hope to get some counceling soon.I am so glad that you have gotten yourself a puppy,don't you just love their puppy breath!. I have 4 birds ( two parakeets,and two cockitiels. We also have 2 cats. I understnad what wonderful blessings they are and how they keep us going. My family doesn't like them but they tollerate them.
    I want you to hang in there with me girl ok!!! I hope we can get together and exchange email address's somehow. I would like to be your friend and have you be mine. We sound like were in the same boat.
    God bless you with peace my friend and hang in there
  4. dafoefan

    dafoefan New Member

    Blkkat, This dumb disease is tough. You are not alone! I do understand, and also understand about our teens. I do have a 19 yr old daughter, and she nearly laughs at me and calls me a bi**h. Thankfully my 16 yr old son tries hard to understand.

    I think having a puppy is great! Yes you have to get through the potty training and chewing everything, but you get unconditional love. It hurts when our loved ones refuse to get it, and suggest we, exercise, move, eat different, blah blah blah. If only they walked in our shoes for a week.

    Friends are confused--we look pretty good, considering how awful we feel. They don't realize that we slept 3 days to spend a few hours with them, and 3 more days in bed to recover after.

    Talk to Isabella, she listens, just like jesus does. It's OK to allow yourself to have a sad day or two, but try to get up and take care of your pup, let her give that unconditional love. I'm saying prayers for you!

    My cat is sitting here with me and keeps tapping my arm so I'll pet her. I'm gonna go wrap my arms around her for my unconditional love!

    Hang in there, I hear you, I wish you the best.

    Friends-in-Fibro, Lisa
  5. AmazAunt

    AmazAunt New Member

    Dearest blkkat,

    I know your pain & sadness. But I do feel fortunate to have stumbled onto this site. I feel so validated after feeling that everyone I know is sooooo sick of hearing about my health problems. I give all the care and attention I have to others' problems, but I guess for some of them, expecting mutual support is unrealistic. It's a damn shame.

    I totally relate to your puppy being a help to you. For those who aren't allergic & can take care of one, I strongly recommend having a pet. I have dogs, and every day I hold them and stroke them and sing to them, etc etc etc. They are extra work, but the love, delight, calming, and pleasure they give back is more than worth the trouble. I love cats too, but can't have one 'cause my guy is allergic to cats.

    Studies have long shown the health benefits to humans of spending time with a bonded animal. Just stroking a pet reduces physical & emotional stress. God bless our beloved animals.

    Yes, my spirituality, my beautiful dogs, a couple of supportive loved ones, and this site keep me from despair. You aren't alone.

    Wishing you blessings and warm Isabella-style puppy love.
  6. doxygirl

    doxygirl New Member

    Are you feeling any better knowing we are here for you?!

    This board is so wonderful....there are always people here for you 24/7 and the great thing is that we all do care and we all do understand!

    I too am going through the "menopause" thing...and it seems like all I do is cry lately!

    I feel so lonely, and at times so unattractive , because I feel like Iam getting old and I know for sure that I feel old! LOL

    I have also been sad because I lost my job three weeks ago, that took a lot of my self esteem with it because I made decent money and now I have none of my own....Iamonce again dependent on my husband and sometimes he does use that as leverage against me!

    I have 3 sons and the youngest one just last week said to his girlfriend in front of me " oh we just ignore her we ask her if shes having a bad day and if she says yes then we just say oh another bad day ...thats too bad"!

    I cried so hard and he did feel bad and gave me a hug...but I too know that my family gets tired of hearing it.............I know I myself get tired of it so how can my family not?

    I want to be back to my energetic, fun , outgoing self ...but in all honesty that day probably will never come...so I do understand your story and how you are feeling..............

    I too get so much from my doggies ( I have 6 dachshunds) thery are my lifeline...always by my side and if I'm in bed from dd they stay in my bed until I can get up!

    I hope that knowing your not alone will give you some comfort............more than anything else right now I just want to say that Iam here for you...and if you need to talk just say the word...

    I will stay up for a few more hours just to talk here with you if you need to!

    Hugs, and hugs and hugs
    Doxy
  7. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    wow that was fast! you came faster than if i had called 911! i would really love to get to know you. how can one get ones e-mail and is it allowed and safe. would be good to get to know one another, first im sure here for awhile yes? LOL your the first one ive ever met that also loves puppy breath ! and yes it is nice to khow you (all) are here and care about how im doing. thankyou. seems alot here also love our lord yes? thats great! i took a look at a few bios but doesnt tell what state were in . im in wash state , would that be neat if we could meet one day. but if not , it is great to try and get to khow alittle about each other. yes we all need to be safe at the same time too! hope to talk more but right now my meds are making it hard to type , thanks again to you(( ALL )) GOD BLESS - BLKKAT
  8. minkanyrose

    minkanyrose New Member

    Sometimes I wonder if we gave and gave all our life people saw us as having it all together and we were good listeners and advice givers then when we need help or a sounding board they don't take us seriously or God forbid it has always been a oneway relationship we were the crutch they needed and their crutch can't break and if it does they just get a new one that is how I am feeling these days.

    Know how you feel, this board is my best friend as of late. and family are the same as yours you can't need me I need you.

    Glad you have a loving pet they are happy to see you anytime and don't care if you just have to lay on the couch and hold them alday they join in.

    hope you are feeling better soon.
  9. Jordane

    Jordane New Member


    Hi Blkkat,

    I understand the lonliness, there is noone here except my husband.My children are grown and gone.

    A lot of it is my fault,I am no good at making friends,and what ones I have are miles away.So its either phone calls or letters.

    Then theres the days on end when I just cannot go out and see people,even if it is only in a store or the library.At least there is someone.But when I am so tired and sick it just isnt possible.


    This site has been more of a friend for me than any I have known.The people on here listen and support.Because we have ALL been there.

    Also like you,I pray, know God is looking out for me,and with him I am never truly alone.A blessing for sure.I just keep thinking there must be a reason why this has happened to me.

    So each day you go on the best you can.Having your little puppy is good,he is company and will listen to you,and love you,no matter what.Animals are great.

    Well hun I pray that you will be lighter in spirits soon.And that you have a *good day*.

    hugs,
    Jordane

  10. Shalala

    Shalala New Member

    We are here for ya (((((((( hugs ))))))))) Kat

    I know what you mean about the "eye rolling". I get it from everyone in my family and at work. That is the worst thing. Or the moooooooooan (from other people when you can't keep up or need their help).

    I am 53 amd am also going through menopause and I thought that was what was causing all of my problems. Now I know differently since I have been diagnosed with FMS, OA, MCS, dibilating chronic migraines, and I truly believe I had CFS in the 1990's.

    I think you will find that Isabella is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you ... she won't roll her eyes. LOL and she will be there for you.

    Hang in there ;-) you have US and Isabella.

  11. lookingoutthewindow

    lookingoutthewindow New Member

    I hear you and I am with you. I visit doctors so much no one even asks anymore. My doctor says I'm too young for menopause, but I know it is part of it. I go for a biopsy under my tongue today and I am afraid and lonely. Let's pray for each other. I know my animals are god sent too. The dogs scratch at the back door when I get home until I let them in and the cat licks my tears when I cry. Hang in there!!!


    Hugs,

    Johnna
  12. nastaranjune

    nastaranjune New Member

    Hello my dear and friend.
    I live what you are talking about. You know I know that in reality "they" are sick and tired of hearing our daily pain and aches, because no matter how you describe it, they are not going to understand it. Please don't see it as "they" don't care. They do, but they are helpless, just imagine if even doctors can not fix us, or truely fix us, neither can family. Yes they can be supportive, but unless they have walked in our shoes they don't get it.
    I remember my mom had it, and so did my grand mother, but doctors didn't even know there was such a thing as FM in her time. So she suffred as no on understood. Not even me. I kept thinking it is all in her head, as no one can hurt everyday all the time. Until I got it. I wish she was alive so I can tell her I am sorry for not understanding you and not being sympathetic. Your family is probably the same way, because they don't feel the same pain as you do.
    Also, being an OBGYN RN, I know menopause can make you feel very emotional with mood swings even in the abscense of any pain. Ask for hormonal evaluation by your OBG doc, and perhaps you can benefit from hormone replacement therapy. Also want to encourage you to continue prozac as it is great for menopausal symptoms.
    I love this website. evey one is in the same boat, and everyone understands.
    Bless you.
    Nancy
  13. monicaz49

    monicaz49 New Member

    Dont worry, I too have been there. How can we not from time to time. I too feel blessed to have this site. Without the internet I would be lost, probably still undiagnosed, scared which would make my symptoms worse, etc etc.
    I just pray that we get better on our own with time. But at least cfs/fibro is finally getting recognized and maybe we can eventually have treatment options.
    Its OK to be sad...and understandable. Im sad to some degree every day. I allow myself to feel sad or else you are just gonna feel sad and guilty.
    Keep your faith up...sometimes God may be testing you.
  14. myjoy

    myjoy New Member

    Oh Hon, I really do understand.

    My family doesn't always understand, my puppy does, but he drives me nuts too sometimes.

    If I didn't have God, it would be awful.

    I took prozac for 14yrs (now cymbalta for fibro instead). Life is not easy, but we have each other here to talk to.

    I hope today is a better day for you!

    myjoy
  15. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    hi everyone, yes today is a bettr day. you are all so great.i try and help also when one of us are having a hard time i hope you see my name on your posts, i say that not to gloryafie=sorry cant spell AT ALLLLLLL!!!!! anyway i dont want to be just a taker. i hope i can help someone by posting back to let you know i (WE) understand and care thats what i think were here for on this site dont you? when were up then help the ones that are down and in return when were down we get the support we need. youve ALL been so great. you all make it much easier to keep on keepin on!!! GOD BLESS- BLKKAT& ISABELLA p.s shes sleepig behind me on my pillow. oh P.S again tue i go in to have my 2nd EMG on my legs , last time i thought i could of kicked the DR it hurt so bad!!! the sad thing is well i guess its good really is the test shows no nerve damage, you tell that to my brain because i have PAIN 24/7 like most here. sorry a little bit of venting.
  16. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

  17. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    Can we ask a huge favor? Please make your post in smaller paragraphs. It is very hard to read a long message. You can see how the other messages are below.

    You can just "edit" and make spaces.

    I understand what you are saying, believe me you are not alone.

    That is the nice thing about our board here, you can come and everyone wants to listen to you 24/7.

    I don't know how long you have been here but you will see for yourself.

    Thanks
  18. crocodile

    crocodile New Member

    hi blkcat we need to talk what you said is almost a carbon copy of my life the last 3 months has really been hard on me not only have i been trying to find something to take for my fib or rls i'v gained 35 lbs in 3 month's and started having other medical problems been stuck in this bed now i've lost my family i've been sick for 10 yrs. and i have had my good days and bad but the last 6 mos or so i just can't snap out soon as i get over one thing then something else pops up i have been fighting for my family but now my husband is tired of it i can see it in his eyes and like i said i was having good days and on those days i would either go see or bring my grandson home with me as long as i was keeping him me and my daughter n law were getting along fine but if i ever tell her i can't keep him then she gets mad and i have always let her get over it i usually feel better in a week or two but this has been the longest anyway this time tried to get my family to put me in a mental hospital my husband and my daughter wouldn't go along with it but now everybody is mad and i have not seen or talked to my kids or grandkids since jan. 12 i know this long but i was tring to give you some hope that you are not alone answer soon
  19. TerryS

    TerryS Member

    Check out my BABY on my profile. He's my delight!!! I understand everything you are saying. If it wasn't for my Lord and my Satchimo baby, I don't know what I would do. Yes, my dog is A LOT of work (he's a big mess), but he loves me unconditionally and is always there for me.

    Hang in there...we're here for you anytime you need to talk and we understand what you're going through. We're all in this together.

    Thank GOD for this message board!

    TerryS
  20. paige51

    paige51 New Member

    We feel your pain and understand.It is good to have a pity party for yourself at times, just don't let it last too long. Very few people if any will sympathize with you, they do not understand and really could care less.

    When life gets really though, listening to Joel Osteen or Joyce meyers really helps. I pray and count my blessings.

    Hold on to the fact that everyday will not be like today and that this to shall pass.

    keeping you in my prayers

    paige51