Can you all help me redefine 'FUN"???

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by PepperGirl52, Sep 8, 2005.

  1. PepperGirl52

    PepperGirl52 New Member

    I was at a ladies' prayer group that I attend once a week. It's just a short walk from my house, so I am able to go and participate, and it gets me out of the house for a few hours.

    Anyway, the ladies were sitting around after prayer talking about their vacations-the ones they'd just had, the ones coming up. One of the ladies is going on a 10 day cruise in October. They were all talking about doing 'this' and doing 'that' and how much fun it is or will be. And I just sat there thinking 'I could never do that-it would put me down for days', or 'I would never be able to endure that ride' or be in a car for that long, etc. You get the point.

    And it made me very sad and angry! To say the least!! So, help me out here. How do we redefine FUN in our lives??

    I haven't gotten to that point, because I can honestly say that in the past year, I have had very little FUN! Everything hurts most of the time and there is a bitter sweet memory with every mini-vacation my husband and I try to take. Then he ends up feeling guilty for putting me through it.

    What can we do to put back the fun in our lives??? I am at a loss. Does it ever change? I feel like I'll never have a nice vacation, a fun time with friends, a comraderie with just visiting people. What is left of this life that's even enjoyable??? Help me out here.........

    Thanks! PG
  2. Dee50

    Dee50 New Member

    Fun=light-hearted amusement.
    We have to find our sense of humour=
    1.the quality of being amusing; the ability to perceive and enjoy this.
    2. a state of mind.
    I'm very thankfull for all the things that I can do and for the air I breath. I think that a good sense of humour can redefine "fun" for me.
    I'm working on it I tend to be far to serious about non-serious things in my life. This attitude seals lots of fun away from me. Anger is a big one for me.
    Please understand I'm talking about ME not you in my post here.
    Dee50
    [This Message was Edited on 09/09/2005]
  3. tngirl

    tngirl New Member

    I did go on a cruise this year in March. The travel days were hard, but the other days, I just went and laid on a lounge chair on the deck or to my room when I needed to.

    I couldn't do the really active shore excursions, but loved the scenery.

    Luckily it didn't thow me into a flare. I had meds to take that helped control the pain.

    I may get where I can't cruise anymore, but I am glad I went this year.
  4. ldbgcoleman

    ldbgcoleman New Member

    i don't think you have to go on trips to have a fun and happy life. One of the richest (and healthy) people I know goes all over the world but she is also one of the unhappiest people I know. She works too hard is always stressed and her husband is a jerk.

    I find fun in the every day things. If I want to smile I tickle my 3 year old. I try to find joy in the simple things. I try to focus on the positive and claim small victories. Enjoy a beautiful day, watch a good comedy with a big bowl of popcorn. I get creative and crafty and most importantly I try to help others. I like to bake and I take the baked goods to the nursing home with my son. It is fun to see their smiles. You don't have to look far to find someone worse off.

    I am very sympathetic because I have had my why me moments and had jealosy and frustration towards others because they have no clue what I am going through. But one thing this DD has taught me is that you never know what is going on with others on the inside. Everyone has their own private pain.

    Life is bittersweet and the bad seems to make me appreciate the good. I am so imperfect it isn't funny but I can choose to be happy or sad and I don't want to spend my time sad. I don't think thats what god has in mind for me.

    So sorry you are feeling this way! This DD seems almost insurmountable some days! Lynn
  5. joncyn1990

    joncyn1990 New Member

    Hello peppergirl,

    I know just how you feel...I was (am) a typical hyper 'Type A' person and this DD has set me back to like a 'Type Y'...it is very frustrating.

    But Lynn is absolutely right - I am learning to redefine fun in my life - doing what I can when I can, and trying to find the good in the bad days.

    I have 6 (yeah, SIX!!) beautiful cats that are all loving and so I try to spend a little time with each every day and rejoice in their love and wonderful antics. My husband and I watch sunsets and the birds. We try to choose shows and movies to watch that are funny or uplifting...things that make us forget the bad or remind us of the blessings we do have.

    It is really, really, really hard some days...sometimes I just feel sorry for myself and angry and frustrated and can't manage to find anything good. And the adjustment has been tough.

    And truthfully we could have it worse - many do...at least we have each other to help us through the tough times. <hugs>

    Hang in there,

    Cyn
  6. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    The items to paint are inexpensive-the paint only runs 80 cents.The best thing about it is I can take my time.I also can do it in bed by taking a cardboard lid or the ones that hold soft drinks and puting (?) the craft on it to paint.
  7. jbennett2

    jbennett2 New Member

    the things that are "fun" for me now are somewhat different.

    The most fun I have is when visiting with family - especially 4 yr. old grandson.

    I have fun when I am singing with a madrigal group that I belong to, even though I know I will not sleep the night of our rehearsals because of overstimulation, but I keep right on doing it.

    I try to find fun in the little every day things that I do for myself; take a walk, eat something I really like (and aren't bad for me), things like that.

    I do not enjoy large groups anymore i.e. weddings, big parties (well, never really did). I have a huge family and when we all get together it is very noisy, but it is still fun even though I will suffer for it later. I try to spend just a few minutes with those I feel closest to.
  8. Shannonsparkles

    Shannonsparkles New Member

    Fun is whatever you are able to do.

    Fun for me is:
    Whipping egg whites to glossy smoothness on the lowest setting of the mixer
    Meditatively stirring a steamy pot of dinner
    Scratching my brother's head when he comes home from work
    Talking to myself when no one's around
    Looking out the window at my backyard as it changes through the months
    Talking on the phone to a friend who needs a smile
    Lying quietly and feeling the texture of my clothes, hearing the ticking of the clock
    Cutting pictures out of wildlife magazines and taping them to my walls
    Requesting library books over the internet without knowing what they will be
    Eating roasted nuts one at a time...


  9. hopeful4

    hopeful4 New Member

    I can really relate to what you're saying, especially after experiencing a miserable and limiting summer while killing off candida! Fun wasn't too much in my vocabulary, and forget long trips.

    I'm keenly aware that for me, I must find some fun and joy in each day, and in the simple things, not waiting for some time off in the future or some extreme vacation.

    I find cooking with the beautiful organic vegetables from our garden (my husband tends) very uplifting.
    Visiting with my neighbor who has two young children, and reading them a book.
    A phone call to my mother in a nursing home.
    Listening to great music, watching old movies.
    Complimenting someone for something simple.
    Taking a small walk in the neighborhood, looking at people's yards, seeing kids play. If I can't go walking, just sit on the porch.
    Fun and joy to me is my qigong class, when I'm able to go, and encouraging others in it.
    Happiness is when my son comes to visit with his dog.

    I think you get the idea. Some days are easier than others for sure.

    Wishing you the very best, and the greatest joys,
    Hopeful4
  10. Denamay

    Denamay New Member

    There is some good hints here, but fun is sometimes hard to come by.

    I went to dinner the other night at a friends home there were other guests there too.

    Well, every one got telling stories about funny things that happened to them.

    It was great, we laughed and laughed.

    Any way, when I came home I realized I felt no pain, none at all.

    The first time since I do not know when.

    I slept well and still felt good in the morning.

    Of course by the afternoon I was back to my normal painful self.

    Just a nice experiece of what those endorphins can do. From Denamay
  11. treelady

    treelady New Member

    This is my first post here, I have had fibro for 8 years and you are asking a good question. For me it has a lot to do with my expectations.
    I love the time I can spend doing the things I love, painting, walking in the woods near our home, shopping or going out for coffee with a friend, or dinner with my family. It all takes more planning than it used to, I sometimes have to plan a nap for that day.
    I don't have to work outside my home so I can plan my day with a little more freedom than most folks.
    But the fun has to be found in our hearts, not in the illness.
    I find that keeping a "pain journal" helps me to, I can dump all the negative feelings and thoughts there and not on my friends and falmily. It doesn't always work the way it should, but it's a good idea in theory.
    Blessings to you PG. you will be in my prayers.
    Treelady.
  12. jake123

    jake123 New Member

    Going to antique malls with my daughter.

    Cooking up a big meal with my husband.

    Listening to my husbands jokes. He makes me laugh everyday and he sings to me.

    Going to a really good grocery store and finding fresh English peas in the spring.

    Putting my glasses on crooked and wait till one of my kids notice it.

    Going to the casino with my husband and gambling with his money.

    Having lunch with my team on Friday so we can act bad, disrespectful and be smart alecks and laugh about it.

    Watching Frankenstein with my 9 yr. old grandson, and eating popcorn till midnight. Then we make french toast.