Can you find the good tings that are in your life ?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by rosemarie, Oct 10, 2006.

  1. rosemarie

    rosemarie Member

    So often when I come her to post I am upset , tired, in pain, whinning about something. And I don't stop to think that there is still things that are good and make me happy .

    I know that it is so hard to look in the mirror and see this person you don't know.
    AS I was reading the posts tonight I stopped to think , statement that was made by my OB/GYN , he said that when he had women patients who had some surgery done.

    The first thing that he wrote on the sheet of things they should do when they got home from the hospital. You minght think that it would say come and see me in a week or some thing about your meds and don't do this or that.But it was none of those.

    He simply said to me" When you get home, take it easy and don't over do it. But I would like you to do this for me Every morning when you get up, shower, do your hair and make up and get dressed. Make your self look like your going to go some place instead of just resting at home.

    For if you do this , for me you will feel better and heal faster.

    I didn't think much of it at the time as I had just had my hyeserctomey and I wanted another baby and now that was impossiable for me to do.

    But after a few days of mopeing around my house I thought that I may as well do as my dcotor asked me to do.

    I am not a morning person but I got up , got in the shower and washed my hair which I had cut really short so it would be easier to keep looking nice after my surgery.

    I got dressed in some levi's and a pretty shirt. I did my hair and put my make up on and went about the day.
    Nothing great happened but my mood was lighter than it had been before.

    And when my husband got home from work he asked me where was I going because I was dressed up and looked nice , like I was going out. I told him that I was just doing what the doctor said to do.

    The more I did this the better I felt about me... How can you not feel better when you get up and get dressed and out of the sweat pants that are 5 sizes to big and are so baggy that I Looked HUGE! and when I took of the sweat shirt that also was too large I looked more normal.

    I started to feel better emotionally. And I started to find things in my life that made me feel good about me..

    Later on I read something that has stuck with me. I know that we live with chronic pain 24/7 and we have times that life is so hard and it is hard to find any thing to be happy about. But we are the only ones who have the abitity to bring happiness and joy in to our lives.

    IF we share our gifts and talents that we have we will find that we have so much to be happy about. I know that it is hard to feel like you have something that wis good in your life when all you do is hurt.

    But take a moment and look around you and see the things that bring a smile to your face. Maybe it is that furry baby that you have that makes you feel so loved, or maybe it is your grandbabies that make your day so much better.

    I have much to be thankful for and thing to be happy about.
    I have a husband who loves me dearly.
    Even though he does not show it to every one I know that he loves me by his actions, as he walks past me and reaches for my hand and holds it for a moment as he walks by.

    Or when he stands behind me and rubs my shoulders. And I know that he loves me when I have had a bad day he will have some thing nice to say to me . IT makes me so happy to know that I am loved after so many years.

    I have daugthers who I just love and they are so loveing to me. I am a grandma of the cutest baby who is going to be the big brother soon as mommy is going to have a little sister for him to beat on .

    I have my MOm who listens to me and shares her life with me.. I take care of her when she is ill and the feelings I get when she has looked up when she was so ill and told me that I was what was making her feel better as she knew she was not alone. I have friends that I call and e-mail too. Yes I have much to be joyfull for. And I have you too.

    I have had some really hard times in my life when my MIL was ill and getting ready to leave this life my husband was not able to deal with it so he wanted a divoce. But he stayed with me till our youngest daughter graduated from high school and then he moved out but spent more time here than he did at his own apartment.

    We septerated in June and in October of that year I found my self sick with phemumonia and was in the hospital. AS I looked up one night I saw my husband standing in the door way and I burst in to tears telling him that I was sorry for causing him more medical bills that he didn't have the money to pay for.

    He looked at me and said this" Honey,Don't sweat the small stuff"I wondered just how coud this hospital bill be "small stuff."
    The next night he called and played 220 questions with me. "Do you still love me? he asked, Yes I do , I have always loved you and always will. ""Do you wantt o get a divoice? NO! that was all you , I wanted to try and keep our marriage working, and I miss you every day. Then he asked me if I would go to counseling with him and I said I would.

    It took some time but even though the counsler was a dork in my eye's I did listen to him and learned some things that I did that had caused some pain for my husband. WE have since gotten back together and spent our 26 th wedding anniversary in Sept of this year.

    I Learned that love needs to grow and that you need to tell your sweet heart that you love him and he needs to do the same thing. I don't know what I would have done if he had not come back and worked things out. AS he is the love of my life. We had to learn how to talk to each other and let the other know how we are feeling. And tell each other that we love them every day.

    I knew then that it was losing his mother and father with in a few short years that caused him so much pain and he didn't understand why I was not working and always in pain and so sleepy when his sisters had more serious illnesses that could be seen and he could not see what it was that I have .

    WE still struggle with that. With fibro and cmp you can't see what it does to you on the out side. And I didn't look sick but I was. and sill am.

    Live is not a peice of cake with chronic pain in your life but even so you still can find joy and happiness in oyour life if you just take a moment and look for it.
    Thank you all for the kindness's you do for me.
    HUGS,.
    Sorry this is so long but I had so much to say.
    Rosemarie
  2. maedaze

    maedaze New Member

    thankyou for posting this,it is just what i needed right now
  3. Mini4Me

    Mini4Me New Member

    Thanks for sharing your stories.
    Someday I will share mine, but my hands are going numb, so I need to make this short this time.

    I was an elementary school teacher for the past 17 years. I've collected quite a variety of nice shoes and clothing over those years, so rather than give away all those nice clothes, since I'm on disability now, I dress myself up nicely each day and put on my makeup and do my hair, just as if I'm going off to work. What I do next is flop into bed, but I'm always ready if the doorbell rings or I feel well enough to go to the grocery store.

    I think it does make a difference in how you feel.
    Thanks again for your wonderful stories of love and strength...
    Mini