Can you overcome 4 a short period?

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by mrpain, Jan 23, 2007.

  1. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    What I'm asking is, if you have to be at a son's ballgame, or a daughter's spelling bee, or even have to entertain unexpected guest for an evening, is there something you can take or do to seem normal enough to get through it all?

    Is there something you can do to endure a family vacation even if it's something you want to do and your looking forward to it? For me, and I'm sure it's not for everyone, I'll take extra caffeine just to get thru those hours that I really need to be having to meet with a teacher and discuss things without sounding like a brainfog idiot..

    I guess I'm extra sensitive to caffeine and it gives me energy and clears my mind up temporaily.. The down side is the crash and knowing that later I will feel much worse.. but we have to do what we have to do... So what do you do when you absolutely need to be part of what's going on? I know some of you this doesn't include because your not at this point yet of your illness!
  2. GRMonLI

    GRMonLI New Member

    I can get through anything...a party, a play, a shopping trip, a vacation , etc.

    I think it is worth getting through these things but what happens to me is that for the next two or three days I am pretty much useless.

    My partner understands this so we schedule things that way, a day to do what we want to do and then a day to let me recover which he understands about.

    As with any medical condition its all about compromise.
  3. jole

    jole Member

    This is a great post - one I can't answer but am looking forward to other responses. For me, unless I am having a very good day, I haven't found anything to work. I don't leave home except to go to the doctor in the winter, which is my worst time, and it gets really old.

    Hopefully I will find something here that works - a few hours out with friends would be wonderful!! But it seems if I can think I can't walk, and viceversa, so either way it isn't worth it.
  4. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    I had to give up my great job also... It payed good and I enjoyed my work. But this illness took care of that. It was mostly the brainfog that made me retire along with the pain, fatigue, and sensory overload. Now I mostly stay in seclusion.....
  5. pw7575

    pw7575 New Member

    I didn't have any sort of remedy...but I don't think it matters remedy or not. Whatever we do to make it through those times will result in a crash unfortunately.

    For me I would just push myself through. Somehow I could muster up the strength to get through really important stuff but then crash later. Sometimes I would fair pretty well but sometimes I would barely be making it through. It depended on what type of day it was for me to start with.

    It sucks that we have to struggle to make it through regular life stuff but I guess it is good that some of us are able to do that much.
  6. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    It's definitely rough to use borrowed energy to push our way thru times that we need to... It's kind of like that spoon theory I guess......
    That's why we crash for days I think so we can refill the so called energy tank....if and when that's possible!
  7. whoachief

    whoachief New Member

    If I can plan ahead for things like this it helps me tremendously. By planning ahead I mean taking "extra" naps" and REALLY taking it easier than normal for a period of time before the "event". Depends on how taxing the event itself is going to be as to how long before hand I begin "preparing".
  8. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    Sometimes, planning ahead makes it more stressful due to the fact whatever I'm planning for seems so important..
    The very fact that I'm planning makes it a bigger event and knowing it will need more energy will zap the very thing I'm trying to accomplish.... Crazy, huh?
  9. Grace4today

    Grace4today New Member

    I've been thinking a bit about getting thru the things I don't have energy for and how to deal with life - my old way of doing things worked for a number of years, but no more and really not worth the effort and recovery time.

    I used to 'hide' who I am, my pain and illness. Never let anyone see the reality of life with chronic pain (except immediate family). I hated the questions, I really hate the feigned empathy or looks of pity. I used to do things that I really didn't want to do, to please others etc. Everything had to be perfect and I had to be the perfect hostess, etc. I couldn't admit any weakness... I even saw having to finally give in to going to the doctor to begin medication for pain management as a defeat. Push, push, push...then crash. No more.

    I have decided to be real. Unexpected company - too bad, if I'm feeling crappy, don't expect me to be a great hostess. Take things as they are. My new resolution is also to prioritize outings and get-togethers. I will no longer do things I really don't care to. I will do the things I MUST do, and try to do as much of what I WANT to do with the energy and mobility I have left. I won't allow myself to be pressured and guilted into wasting my good days with unnessary stuff that robs me of precious time with my grandchildren. I am actually learning to say NO!
    I just hope I sound convincing. =-)

    There is also no getting around the fact that a big event is going to require re-coup time...that is just our life. Fighting it only makes the days harder, and I think to some extent causes a measure of resentment. The upside is that when we have large blocks of good days (like a remission) we are thankful and feel blessed that we can do so much and have so much energy. A healthy person just takes that for granted and misses out on the profound appreciation of feeling alive and good - even when it is only for short periods.

    My mom's cousing was born legally blind. As an adult in her 50's, with advances in medicine, she was able to have surgery to correct her sight to the point where she was even able to drive and read. That lasted for less than 10 years, then she began losing her vision rapidly again. I said to her "it must be awfully hard to face the reality of blindness again after receiving your sight." Her reply was, "Not really. I am just so grateful for the good years I was given."

    I think we, too, if we are more appreciative of the good days, will find the bad ones a little more tolerable. At least I hope so.
  10. momof471

    momof471 New Member

    We just recently did a family vacation. It had been four years since we had one. It was so hard! Icouldn't do what I used to and I gave out very quickly, but you know that was ok, no one complained. It was painful, hard and I really had to face my limitations, but it was ok. Now since I've been back, I don't know if it was the vacation or the change in temperature, but I've been feeling like I've been fighting a losing battle. I feel so drained 24/7. However, I do have wonderful pictures and memories of our trip that will last forever.
  11. mrpain

    mrpain New Member

    Does anyone else overcome for a short while when absolutely necessary by taking caffeiene or their meds just to get thru something because if you didn't, you would not be able to handle the situation because of your illness and symptoms?
  12. Jeanne-in-Canada

    Jeanne-in-Canada New Member

    The best thing you can do, rather than rely on stimulants, is to save up your energy and lay low, get extra rest and stay in as much as possible before your big event.

    If its a smaller event, like a one day party or outing, then I usually don't have a crash after. If its a biggy, like the Christmas season marathon of parties to get through, then I do inevitably crash after, for up to a mth.

    My sister, who knows me and the patterns of this illness better than anyone knows this too. She'll even tell me, to "save up" and start now if she wants to see me on such an such a date (we live across province).


  13. tngirl

    tngirl New Member

    I am rather adept at faking it. I don't look like anything is wrong.

    My family knows and the other girl that works in the office. Others just know that I have "back trouble".

    I work everyday in an administrative position. I supervise all elections for our county.

    Last year about killed me there were so many changes, and I had to work a lot of overtime.

    I managed to do what I had to, although I had to force myself. I don't think I perform as well as I did prior to having fibromyalgia but I guess I'm conceited enough to think I still do it as well or better than most!

    I do try to get up and walk around instead of sitting in one position several times a day.

    But after work, I'm completely exhausted. I have someone who comes in and cleans once a week. I still do the laundray and try to keep the house picked up. It feels like all the energy has been sucked out of my body.

    I have degenerative disc disease as well as fibro and arthritis. I do stretching and try not to sit for long periods (my lower discs are denerative) That's why the flights take so much out of me. YOu can't really move around a lot in the plane (can't afford first class)

    We go on one vacation a year. We've found a cruise works well for us.

    The travel days are bad (I've learned to ask for prednisone to take during vacation) I don't usually take it any other time.

    I take my pain meds (and other meds) on time.

    I take a travel pillow for my neck (I have a lot of neck pain and degenerative discs there) and a small one for my lower back.

    The cruise allows others to do what they want and I can rest whenever I need to. I conserve my energy to do the things I want to most. Usually there is a day at sea between ports so that helps. We usually book a tour or something when we're in port. The shore excursions are coded as to difficulty and stamina needed.

    I used to absolutely wear my self out getting ready for the cruise. Now I start getting ready more days in advance and make my family pack their own bags for the most part.
  14. KMD90603

    KMD90603 New Member

    I think the way I'm able to get myself through these types of events is by reminding myself that later, when I'm paying for allowing myself to have fun, I'll be able to rest. For instance, I have my little cousin's 1st birthday party to go to tomorrow. Before that I'm taking my son to basketball practice. So, we're going to basketball practice and then straight over to the party. However, I keep telling myself that when we get home from the party, I'm going to lay down and rest. It's especially important that I rest tomorrow because I'm in the midst of a flare, and my glands are soooooo swollen and painful. But even if you are not flaring, it's important to compensate for "overdoing" it.

    I guess my point is that you can still enjoy yourself, but you need to balance that enjoyment with rest. I still go out to various places on the weekend, and I'm even going to the bar/dancing with my best friend tomorrow evening. However, I know that in order to do that, I need to allow myself extra time to rest before going out, as well as time to rest on sunday.

    Hope this helps.

  15. dani78xo

    dani78xo New Member

    As much as I wish this were the case, FM and CFS don't care what we want. They won't go into hiding just because there's some place we really want to be.

    I want to play soccer again, but I won't ever be able to. I also want to be in school without being absent every three days, but that won't happen either.

    That's the catch with FM/CFS--they tell you what to do, not the other way around. There's really no way of avoiding the crash if you do too much for your body to handle. For everyone it's different.

    Learn your limits. Then you can plan a bit easier. Go to whatever it is you want to go to, but maybe not for the whole time--constantly pushing yourself and this illness will not make your endurance improve, but being watchful of your limitations and realizing when you've had enough WILL.

    There are a lot of days I wish that I could tell my illnesses what to do for once, but I haven't found the trick to it yet :].

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