Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by poodlemommy, Sep 15, 2005.

  1. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    hi friends : I feel the need to put out what Im feeling or I think I will just burst. This summer has been the best yet . I made some tough choices and ended a marriage to a drug addict, I won my law suits and now have my financial security and my legal battles are over, My pain levels have never been lower, I feel happy again. Then a few months ago my first husbands mom became very ill. I have been very close to her for over 30 years. So in support of her and her husband I have been at her bedside every day. she is very close to passing now. Likely this weekend. I have spent wonderful days with especially this last month. I am peace with her going and was thinking it would be nice to have some me time again. Well on Tuesday I took my mom for tests and she has bowel cancer. I still cant beleive it. My mom is the healtiest of all of us. She has never been sick or in the hospital. She is beautiful, vibrant , active , wonderful lady. We are not waiting for a CT scan to see if its spread. If not they will operate and remove a section of her bowel . If its spread I dont know what will happen. She will be having surgery in the next 2-3 weeks. I am the only one who doesnt work so I will be caring for after her surgery. I will pack up my two little poodles and stay at moms. I just hope my fibro stays at a low level. Ive been good so far but I noticed in the last 2 days my back pain is worsening and im very tired again. So now I need to be very careful and pace myself. I need to be strong and be there for my mom. So please keep us in your prayers. I get so much strenght from all of you , we really are the strongest of people arent we. Thanks for listening as I so needed to put this out there.
    hugs to all of you, poodlemum
  2. Francey54

    Francey54 New Member

    Dear poodlemum:

    My heart goes out to you and your mom. It is so difficult caring for loved ones with cancer when we are in good health so having Fibro is a challenge.

    I understand you completely. My dad had colon cancer 5 years ago and I am an only child so it was up to me to care for him. My mom was in no condition to do so since she has so many ailments.

    I stayed with my dad day and night for about 4 weeks in the hospital. After the operation to remove the large cancerous tumor he later developed an infection. I thought I wasn't going to make it, my back was in tremendous pain, every inch of my body screamed for REST, yet I had to keep going. This went on for about 1 year after his operation since I had to take him to Chemo, bath him, help him dress. It was very hard but God gave me the strength to do it.

    Today dad is 90 and cancer free. I thank God I was able to be with him during those very difficult times.

    It is always so shocking to here that a parent or close relative has cancer. It is so prevelant today that it is almost an epidemic. I lost a beloved cousin a few months ago frm kidney cancer. He was so vibrant, handsome and funny. I still mourn his loss.

    Please be assured hon that I will have you, your mother-in-law and your mom in my daily prayers.

    Please take care of yourself as best you can and leave the rest to our Lord. I am here for you for whenever you need a shoulder to cry on.

    God Bless.

    I send you love and many hugs,

  3. Meekah

    Meekah New Member

    I'm so sorry that your mom was dx with cancer. My mom was dx with colon cancer at the age of 38. She was sick for 4 yrs. and passed way at the age of 42. ( I was 20)

    This was 16 years ago, now they know much more about the illness and they have much better ways of dealing with it. She has a much better chance of beating this in this day and age.

    I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.

    Hugs and Prayers
  4. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    francey thank you for an story with a happy ending. Its been a very rough 3 years. 3 years ago I lost my mother in law to my second husband to lung cancer, last month his dad died of liver cancer, I recovered from thyroid cancer a year ago and now my mom. We have been over run with cancer these past few years. YOur are right though, God gives you the strength you need to pull thru. 2 months ago when Mazie first took ill she was in the hospital and the nurse shortage is so bad. So I was the only one who helped the nurse bath her, move her, feed her ice chips etc. Her husbands back is too bad to do it and her own children did not come. Then last month she was moved into a Hospice house. Its a home with 3 bedrooms and her room looks into a beautiful garden. The caregivers have been a God send. So the past month has taken a tremendous burden off me and my father in law. My daugthers and grandchildren have made regular visits also. Mazie last month has been wonderul and we have had some fun visits. She is a very funny and warm lady. So when I was at my wits end with back pain and fatigue God saw fit to present us with this home for Mazie. I know too if my mom should become very ill that she can go to this home also so it takes a big load off. Any how right now I am thinking positive and am very hopeful that she can have surgery and recover. Thanks for the kinds thoughts a story that gives me hope.
    hugs, poodlemum
  5. sheried

    sheried New Member

    I have been where you are. It is such a shock to find out that your mother has cancer. I lost mine 5 years ago to colon cancer. She was 56. I pray that they caught your mother's early and that she will make a full recovery. My maternal grandmother had colon cancer and they caught it very early and all was fine.

    I am sorry about your ex-MIL. It is so hard to deal with this DD and our DDs on top of that.

    I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

  6. rileyearl

    rileyearl New Member

    I'm sorry to hear your mom has cancer. I'm hoping it is early and can be cured completely. What strikes me most about your post is that you are feeling strong and capable from recent experiences. What a gift you can give to your mom. I bet you get to know her better now than you ever have. Take care of you and kiss those poodles for me!


  7. Leenerbups

    Leenerbups New Member

    I am so sorry for you. This must be so hard and terifying for you. please keep us informed on how you and your mom are doing.
  8. Mareeok

    Mareeok New Member

    Oh, that is such terrible news. I am so sorry. You have been dealing with so much and I don't even know your personal trials. God always gives us the strength needed and knows how much we can endure. You must be a very strong lady. I am looking forward to getting to know you.

    Tender heart hugs,
  9. jaltair

    jaltair New Member

    You've had so much to deal with in your life, much the same experience as I've had. I, too, had my MIL pass away within the past six months. It was a difficult time during the last three weeks, but I too got to know her in very special ways and would trade those days for nothing!

    My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about 5 years ago at the age of 78. She chose to not have a mastectomy, instead had a lumpectomy and radiation. She has been cancer free since. During the time of her diagnosis and treatment, I was with her. Being with her endeared to me in a way that is really wonderful. There sure is a really strong bond between mother and child, and that bond is strengthened through close interaction.

    You, your family, and your mother will be in my prayers.

    Warm wishes, Jeannette
  10. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    hi gang/ well my mother in law is still hanging on. She is in the very last stages of death now. It will be just a matter of the eveing I think. My mom got her appointment to see the surgeon. We go SEpt 29th to see just how bad the cancer is. Im so scared and dont want to lose her. Her surgery is booked for Oct 12th. I am praying so hard that she will be ok. I have been helping to be there for my mother in law every day for over 2 months and now my mom. My fibro is saying enough already. WEll I decided it was time to do something for just me and I went a got a beautiful ferry tatooed on my right shoulder. Its lovely. The pain was unbelievable but it was a release of all the emotional pain ive been thru. I am so pleased with how it turned out. I will get a friend to take a picture of it and post it for every one. What a nut I am . My daughter loved it. She wants to get same one so we can have matching mother daughter tatoos and she is going to add 2 dragon flys to signify her daughters. That would be too special. I have a picture of what I used to have the artist do it so I will try to post that on my picture in my profile. Hope you like it. Please guys lots of prayers for my mom. I need her .
    hugs. rose( poodlemum)