Can't believe my friend

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by ozgran, Jan 21, 2003.

  1. ozgran

    ozgran New Member

    Had one of my close friends visit today and while she was here a young fellow who used to board with us arrived. Knew I hadn't been well as I just have't been functioning like I used to and he knew that, and asked about my health. Told him I have FM. Whats that??? Well it's a bit like CFS only very painful. After he left my friend exploded. Stop saying it's like CFS. THAT"S "Yuppie Flu" and you know what people will be saying about you. Tried to tell her she was wrong and there is much evidence around suggesting allsorts of things which may be responsible for us having FM. Her response??? And stop reading all that stuff about it too.!!! I just changed the subject. My other close friend is very supportive and she used to be a nurse. Makes it difficult., don't it. Oh well. I will still read all I can etc and keep in touch with you all on this board. I just won't tell her "nuthin". Love Ozgran.
  2. nogilroy

    nogilroy New Member

    sorry that your friend said that to you that was not very nice of her . sounds like your friend has not read to much about this .somtimes it has been in the newspapers to read it is hard to make people understand what we have .like when my hubby has the flu and he is down and out with it . iwould just like to say to him this is theway i feel like 95 percent of the time . i for one have just stoped telling people how i feel in the last six months family and friends i did tell one person , because i did not want them to think that i am lazy i am only 45 and i use to work , and i do not want to drive my frinds away .also i thought that my husband forgot that i have it also but i look at all the small things that he does for me .he helps me cook when he has the time .buys things for me that help make house work easier to do.also he is ordering some books for us about gardenig and herbs that is what i like to do . this dd makes it so hard to deal with i am so glad that i found it in nov
  3. Fibromiester

    Fibromiester New Member

    Oh, Ozgran, I feel your frustration! I have a friend who IS in the Medical Profession who "poo-poo's" everything I say about recent problems with CFS and my FMS/CMP. I'm searching the Web for a diagnosis myself, because my DR is not always "hearing" my symptoms, and won't test me for what I think I "have", you know? He thinks I'm a Hypochondriac.
    Then I talk to my friend and he makes me even more discouraged! So, yeah, I shut up, and come back here to the board and learn all I can! And the Internet. I get encouraged here, and informed.If I have to live with these things, at least I want the best quality-type of life I can find, with God's help! Right?

  4. Shazzy

    Shazzy New Member

    Hi ozgan,

    I cant believe that was said to you. Some people just dont know how lucky they are to be fit and healthy. Who needs friends when they are like that.

  5. AnnetClo

    AnnetClo New Member

    but I do understand where she's coming from. I spent 18 years as an ER nurse and I admit I didn't know squat about CFS and FM. And I wasn't always the most emphathetic about pain either. I grew up with a father who just wouldn't tolerate crying and "whining". He used to tell us to "shut up or I'll give you something to cry about". So I learned early to keep sickness, pain and feelings to myself. Unfortunately I carried that attitude into my job and I really didn't care to listen to "whiners". If I couldn't see the injury or the illness my first thought was that I was dealing with a hypochondriac or a drug seeker. Not that I didn't care about people or want them to be well, I just let the enormity of the job and the fact that if I didn't complain nobody else should either. I tell my hubby now that this FM is God's way of thumping me on the head and saying "see what happens". And as a friend I have on many occasions said what I thought needed to be said to set another friend straight. I mean if your friends can't tell you the truth who will? I'm really sorry about things I've done now. It embarrasses me no end when I hear you guys talk about the way you're treated by medical caregivers because I was one of those sorry folks. So a big "I'm sorry" from me. And if my old mother is right, then "what goes around comes around" and your friend may have occassion one of these days to have to eat her words. And crow don't taste good!!!

  6. ozgran

    ozgran New Member

    I really appreciate your comments and I will be keeping things much closer to my chest from now on.

    Having been in a job where I organised Support Groups for people and tried to help them educate the community with "open days" and speakers on the subject, I sort of thought being honest about my DD would help others understand. Learnt differently didn't I???

    My husband thought much the same as everyone else for starters but he is beginning to understand a lot more.My son and his wife are having difficulty in accepting things though. Mum was never like this and always there to do whatever for them.

    I think my friend was a little concerned about her attack on me as she rang this morning to see how I was. Told her I was fine!!! - and I will keep telling her that. My other friend will continue to be supportive and only others I will talk to about the FM are the medicos and my friends on this board. You lot really are "Special". ((((((Hugs to you all)))) Love Ozgran.
    [This Message was Edited on 01/22/2003]
  7. kimstar

    kimstar New Member

    Hi, I must admit, I have been eating a lot of crow pie. I was a legal assistant for a Workers' Comp. Defense Law Firm. Whenever a case came up "CFIDS or Fibromyalgia" due to the attitudes of the attorneys I worked for and respected, who fought against it, I believed them, instead of the injured worker. It wasn't until I, myself, came down with an illness that I didn't believe in, that I had to eat crow. Even when I was diagnosed, I didn't believe it, and it took me years to accept it. Even now, I still search the internet trying to find "something else" to blame this illness on. Something with a NAME!!! A name other than CFIDS or Fibro!!! A name that my friends and family will accept! It would almost be better to have cancer, as people would at least accept that, and not treat you as if you are "lazy" and "don't want to work. I feel, that I am getting what I deserved. That since I didn't believe those cases, that God tapped me on the head, and said, here you go, do you believe now??? I feel I deserve it. I've lost everything, my life as I knew it, (horses, hiking, biking, dancing, etc., etc., ) self-esteem, friends and family (who don't believe) physical health,(I used to be muscular) even my relationship with my son, who now thinks his mother is "lazy". My life has fallen apart due to an illness I didn't even believe in. Boy, now I do. I, also, apologise to those I didn't believe. I've suffered for 8 years now, and do not show any signs of getting better. Doc says I am one of his most severe cases. I guess this is what I get for not believing. kim