Can't Enjoy ANYTHING

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by hysperia, Dec 4, 2004.

  1. hysperia

    hysperia New Member

    I've been REALLY sick for five mos. - was probably sick before too, but REALLY sick for five mos. Mostly alone. Dying of lonliness (not really) along with everything else. Son just dropped by with girlfriend for an hour. Now I have a headache, feel dizzy and spaced out, exhausted and cried my eyes out when they left because I can't even enjoy them. Do the losses just keep coming? Do we lose EVERYTHING? How are we supposed to live if we can't even have a nice quiet visit with someone we love? How am I NOT going to go crazy? Anyone?
  2. zachsuncle

    zachsuncle New Member should be feeling the wave of affection and support I'm sending you.

    Hang in there. Yes, you will have disappointing experiences like you did today. But other visits will go better. Make sure your son and his girlfriend know that illness might keep you from being your old self, but that their visits, support and patience are very important in your life. People who respond positively are a blessing in your life.

    There are people out here who understand just how you feel. We're with you. :)
  3. lovethesun

    lovethesun New Member

    Even though I treid to keep a positive attitude.It felt like a did nothing anymore.Especially since the doctor told me not to drive.I've been a week in bed recovering from thanksgiving,then lo and behold,woke up feeling not toooo bad and went ot my first party in 4 years.Stayed for 3 hours listening to music.There is a life out there!!!Hope you feel better,Linda
  4. PVLady

    PVLady New Member

    I have been feeling sorry for myself this week-end. I have been sick for 15 years or more, but really sick for about two years. I started MS Contin a few months back, but it feels like this DD is progressive. I am not better overall, I am worse. I am in bed much more than not.

    I also feel great loss and isolation. In fact I just had a melt down this week-end. I don't think anyone who does not have fibro could ever understand how hard it is. For the most part, many of of look fine physically.

    So others may think it is just a matter of will power to get off our backside. I am also very interested in the "mind-body" connection to our illnesses.

    I am currently reading several excellent books. You are probably familiar with Dr. Sarno who wrote an excellent book on the subject.

    I also like Carolyn Myss. She is a medical intuitive. I am also going to check out the church "Science of Mind". Again, I have been reading about their beliefs and am interested.

    In no way am I saying our illnesses are "all in our head". Its just that I have done everything I can to help myself and now want to look inwards.

    I recently started listening to relaxing music and reading about Yoga and special breathing exercises. I am definitely going to research everything I can.

    Perhaps, in combination with traditional medicine, I can improve my condition.

    Take care

  5. JimB

    JimB New Member

    and that's a symptom of CFS anf FM.

    But from the things you have said here and in other posts, you are suffering from depression.

    You're going thru the motions of living, 'cause you're
    supposed to. You're just not you anymore.

    It's not your fault.
    Even if you figure out what emotional/physical weights might have triggered this...

    It's not going to start your engine .. and keep it running again.
    For at least a while you need
    the RIGHT anti-depressant to remedy
    the chemical depletion in your brain
    so you can get the real you back again.

    The ability to think ,to relax, to hope,laugh and Feel again.

    This has all been my observation and opinion Hysperia, but I've been thru it - severely

    Your best bet in finding the right ant-depressant is a neurpsychiatrist.

    So ,make a decision, which is hard to do sometimes, and follow thru on it as the Top Prioriy.

    Whatever you do, I hope you find relief and happiness. Jim : )
  6. hysperia

    hysperia New Member

    ... I'm sure you're right. But if you're read my other posts, you'll know that I can't take any anti-depressants - have litterally tried them all over the years and I have very bad reactions to them. I have a psychiatrist and she won't prescribe them to me anymore because results are dangerous. She's taken me off other things now that she was using to try to stabilize mood - because she wants to be clear that I'm not having a drug reaction as a cause of this illness. Meantime, she is not supportive of my choice to see a naturopath/doctor team. She believes I have fibro/cfs, she just thinks if I take care of myself and rest, this will "go away in about a year". I can't just sit here and do nothing. Now she doesn't want to see me anymore, because I have chosen a path she disagrees with. I've been seeing her for ten years! Yup, I'm depressed. No doubt about it. But I have to find "natural" ways to get undepressed. Thanks for thinking of me and writing.
  7. flyingfingers

    flyingfingers New Member

    Your post really touched me. It could have been me 20 years ago. At that time I did not have fibro, but went through a series of traumatic events that put me in a deep, deep depression. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks, couldn't eat, sleep, or function. I truly believe if it had not been for the steps I took to help myself I would not be here today answering your post.

    I was 27 and married 6 years. My husband and I were trying desperately to have a baby. We were having infertility treatments done and I finally, after 2 years, got pregnant!! The pregnancy turned out to be a tubal pregnancy and I had major surgery to save my life. The doctor found endometriosis during the surgery and put me on a drug that put me into menopause. Two months after my surgery hubby came home and announced he wanted a divorce. I found out later he had another woman. I crashed.

    I found a really good counselor and was referred to a psychiatrist for medication. I was put on antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication. My counselor told me that I needed to do things that I didn't feel like doing. This was the best medicine of all. I remember keeping a daily journal and writing down every day when I did something...anything, making my bed, getting a shower, getting dressed, etc. One of the most important things I did was to walk every day. Even when I did not feel like it. I remember him telling me when I complained that I was just too weak and couldn't do it because I felt like I would faint. His reply was, "So if you faint, just lay there on the ground until you wake up and then get up and get to walking again." Best medicine I ever had!

    I have used this kind of therapy throughout my life since then. It has helped me to have a normal, good life. I remarried and my husband and I were fortunate enough to adopt 2 beautiful children. They are now 11 and 15 and I am living the life I thought I'd never have. Then the fibro hit 5 years ago. I finally was diagnosed correctly after 5 years by a rheumatologist and put on the drug Cymbalta. I am virtually pain-free now!!

    I found that old journal while cleaning out a closet the other day. It was so heartwarming to go through and read those entries of struggle that I made. I saw healing occurring each and every day. I now approach any hardship in my life with the same persistance, including this fibro disease.

    You can win over this, just take the right steps to get there. Sorry this is so long, but something told me I needed to tell my story to you. Maybe something in it will help you too. I pray for you and wish you the best.

    Hugs and Prayers,


  8. tansy

    tansy New Member

    positive minded among us feel like that at times.

    Lack of sleep has been mentioned here and I can confirm the difference in what I can do and cope with increased once my GP Rx a sleep med that worked at least part of the time.

    My moods and energy improved considerably thanks to a naturopathic approach and change in diet. I had gone back down to barely functioning but managed to improve on that.

    Many of us do not do well with anti depressants, but by participating in boards like this and researching including on the Internet I found some of my answers. Supps, along with my diet took care of many of the symptoms ADs are Rx for in spite of the bio and neurotoxins from the borrelia affecting my brain.

    love, Tansy
  9. hysperia

    hysperia New Member

    ... for generous responses. NOT too long. Things aren't always as bad as I made them sound in that post. But it's so amazing to have a place to say it when you need to and to get some response. Forever grateful.
  10. lee1968

    lee1968 New Member

    I hope you find yourself feeling better. I know it it can be so hard when we are not the person we use to be and so much has changed. You just hang in there.

  11. flyingfingers

    flyingfingers New Member

    Sorry my post was so long above. Sometimes my fingers just get carried away!! Glad you're feeling better now!

  12. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    First let me say, I'm really sorry to hear the way hysperia is feeling and hope things can get better soon......

    But Sherry, I just had to compliment you on your post - you had a very good therapist there - I've had depression problems long before fibro, scleroderma, and all the other health problems in my life, so naturally with all the other health crap going in, depression rears it's ugly head, more than I care to mention......
    But your therapist at the time, was very wise and caring - I've been that route and often have to push myself, but when we push ourselves as far as depression, the tiny things we do "usually" make us feel atleast a little better mentally!!

    Just wanted to give hysperia my best........and to thank sherry for her post.......

    Take Care.........Love, Donna
  13. BxGirl

    BxGirl New Member

    Hysperia, there is a way to feel better. There is a technique called EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). Look it up on the Web. It may sound silly, but you do various patterns of tapping on your head, face, and hand. There is a whole system of how to do this.

    You can try it yourself, or you can go to a therapist who will work with you. You may only need 1 or 2 sessions with the therapist. It worked for me for a problem I was having. You can use it for all sorts of problems.

    Please, please check it out on the Web. It's non-invasive, doesn't hurt and there is no medication involved. Let me know if you try it!

  14. suzbee

    suzbee New Member

    Many tender hugs to you. I have fought depression all my life, even before I got CFIDS and fibro. When one is depressed, things look mighty big and overwhelming. Try to be gentle with yourself.

    Over the years, doctors have prescribed me many different antidepressants, and most of them have been disastrous. The most helpful one was Prozac, but even it had its drawbacks.

    With a doctor's help, I have been able to wean off the Prozac, and now I take nothing for depression. Among all the supplements I take, fish oil is the only thing that has natural antidepressant qualities -- I'm not taking it for that reason, but it's a nice benefit.

    But this dreary winter weather is already taking its toll on my mood, so I'll probably have to start taking something soon (probably lithium orotate, which I've used before).

    Anyway, here's what I found while looking online for natural antidepressants. Hope it helps you.

    Some natural antidepressants --
    Omega 3 fatty acids -- fish oil (this helps me)
    Rhodiola rosea (also an anti-aging, weight loss help)
    NADH (Enada)
    Lithium Orotate (sold online as "Serenity" -- works for me! very subtle, and no side effects)

    There are also some that one must use carefully --
    SAM-e (expensive)
    5-HTP (I tried this, made me feel weird)
    St. John's Wort

    I went searching for natural antidepressant formulas and found a few that looked interesting. They have names like Amoryn, Deprex, and Anxius. Some of the ingredients in them are the same, but each of them also has something a little different. They contain many of the items listed above. I have been tempted to try one of them.

    Now, for good sleep -- Valerian root. I've been using Enzymatic Therapy's "Fatigued to Fantastic" Revitalizing Sleep Formula, with valerian root, passion flower, L-Theanine, hops, wild lettuce, Jamaica dogwood. Oh, does it stink! But so nice and sedative.

    As for the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), I believe it will work. My chiropractor does meridian therapy / acupuncture, and it is amazingly effective. He has taught me how to treat a few of my own meridian points for physical symptoms. There is an EFT practitioner not too far from me, and when the holidays are over I will probably go see her and have her teach me the technique properly. I don't trust myself to learn it from the online manual.

    Anyway, there's some stuff -- check it out for yourself. Don't take my word for it; I've been studying this for years, sifting out the good from the bad, and everybody has to do that for themselves!

  15. herbqueen

    herbqueen New Member

    I taught myself EFT from the site- I got no improvement from it.. does it really work? How have others benefited?<BR>
    I can relate-I too have been housebound now for 5 months with degen nervous system disorder/probably horrible case of late lyme since the neuros can't diagnose me- in physical nervous system constant agony/can't breath so bad and losing ability to walk, numbness, burning, jerking, twitching swallow , hold my head up and total insomnia (sleep meds barely working) . I can't take a visitor either for more than hour so I feel your pain!<BR>
    would love to wake up from this surreal dream I'm in. My mom always told me life was not always fair and she was right!<BR>
  16. Yucca13

    Yucca13 Member

    It is depressing to feel awful for a long time. It takes a real toll on us in so many ways. Sometimes it takes a lot to be optimistic. I dislike where I live (the climate, pollens, etc. literally make me sick.) I live quite a ways from my daughter and grandchildren, so I don't see them as much as I would like.<BR>
    I guess everything is relative. Life isn't fair, that is for sure. I am a bit envious that you have your son to come and visit. My 34-year-old son passed away from prescription methadone (taken for pain) in August, 2008. I miss him terribly. <BR>
    Many times when I feel that I cannot bear anymore sorrow or pain and think I am going crazy, it takes a lot of effort to motivate myself to want to keep on. I think if there is even one person that loves you and needs you, that is enough reason to be alive. <BR>
    I hope you feel better real soon. Please know you aren't alone. Val<BR>