Can't figure out how to pace myself. Need help!!!!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by pegasis, Feb 6, 2003.

  1. pegasis

    pegasis New Member

    I have fibro, cfs, ibs, and stomach problems galore. The Doc's all say to pace yourself on what you do each day to not get your body irritated. But, some days I can barely get out to the chair in the living room. So, on days that I feel any better at all, I have to really pounce on things to try to get the house cleaned. I have a 5 month old alaskan malamute puppy who needs to go outside and do to landlord, I can't just tie her out. She is being a pain in the behind about house training and now I have that to clean up all over the house. We have more things in here than we have room and I just can't stand the messes any more. My hubby won't help me and I am going insain. So, how do I pace myself when the house is always trashed and I can't get caught up? Someone help me please. I don't know what to do anymore and it's sending me into depression. Please answer!!! Any tips would be used I promise!!!!!!! Will keep all in my prayers, Pegasis
  2. Lendi

    Lendi New Member

    That one is tough. I'm having some problems with it too. But, basically, you just have to "stop and smell the roses" and try not to worry about the housework. The dog needs taken care of, but the dust bunnies are just fine. Good luck and hope you feel better soon. Lendi
  3. CelticLadee

    CelticLadee New Member

    I never try to do everything in one day. Break it up. But my day goes like this:
    First I do what just has to be done no matter what.
    Then I rest.
    Then I do the urgent tasks.
    Then I rest.
    Then I do the less urgent tasks.
    Then I rest.
    If I have any energy left.
    I do something fun. Helps keep the depression away.
    Then I start this process all over again when I get some more energy. It is very important to eat good nutritious food to help keep the energy level going so I do plan & cook 3 square simple meals a day. Eating 15 grams of protein with each meal has helped me feel less fatigued.
    Hope this will help.
  4. paula45

    paula45 New Member

    There is a website called flyladydotnet (we aren't allowed to post actual URL's so you get the hint)...Anyway, flylady has a whole system of housecleaning that has helped me so much. It's doing it in "babysteps" and timing yourself; AND letting go of perfectionism. It's good reading and a REALLY good plan. Admittedly, many days I can't do anything, but on the days I can, the e-mails I get from them keep me focused and not just running from one thing to another and getting nothing done. It's definitely worth a look. I don't get as frustrated as I used to and if I can't do it, I don't feel as guilty. Hope this helps. Take it easy.
    Paula
  5. bluebirder

    bluebirder New Member

    Boy do I applaud that idea! Now sometimes with the timer set it is hard to stop. At least for me once I stop I don't want to get up again.

    Used to, years ago, when I wasn't working because the kids were tiny.....I would put them down and lay down on the couch myself "to watch the soaps" but acutally I'd wake up an hour later when the kids got up so the soaps were like a sleeping pill. By the time hubby got home I was tired again...

    Now I since I am not working I rotate between excercising, doing dishes while watching birds out the window, reading while laying on couch, sitting here at the computer and changing over laundry loads downstairs or filing stuff into quicken. Sometimes I just sit and swivel leaning forward and back and stare at my fish tank.

    In the summer I will take my trusty little branch I took off the apple tree limb that broke off in a storm and walk around the yard using it like a cane or "walking stick". Quite crude but it actually works better than a cane (which I never got when the dr gave me a presc for one long ago). I just keep it nearby.

    I was a little embarassed, when my neice spent the night last night before catching a flight down to help with my dad (fell and smashed his hip and now has a plate & screws in there), because the tub was still dirty. But I did not have time or energy yesterday to clean it. I am always sore during the job and the whole next day afterwards.

    I am moving today because hubby wants to go to diner and comedy club for someone he used to work with. That will mean sitting! So today I am taking it easy and not doing much. Tomorrow he scheduled a trip to see my daughter and her fiance for a Brunch.Her future mom in law will be there too. So I need to go.I don't know if I will get this office cleaned and find the stuff for taxes preparer tomorrow or not. Time is running out in that area.

    Ok that's enough sitting. Got to move again.
  6. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    getting rid of the excess in your house? You said you have too many things for your rooms. Are there things that you and your husband aren't using that could be donated to charity? They could come and haul it away for you. Small things should be put in boxes for them. I found that I could keep my house cleaner if I had less things sitting around collecting dust. I would keep the knickknacks to a premium, too. When I do clean house, I break it up. I don't vacuum and dust on the same day and sometimes I only do part of the house. Maybe you could hire a cleaning service to do the heavy duty things like carpet cleaning or moving furniture to clean. I understand the difficulty in pacing yourself. It's something I am still struggling with. I have always been a neat freak. I am fortunate in that my husband is good at helping around the house. He does the laundry and dishes most of the time.

    I have never had a dog, only cats and they are pretty neat. I can't advise you with the bathroom problem, but if his fur is a problem on the furniture, maybe brushing him everyday would help contain the fur.

    Ellen
  7. fibolady

    fibolady New Member

    of not being able to do everything you used to do. this is hard. ok, pacing is hard, this is what helps me: lists, lists, lists

    i will mark my calendar by the week, apptments (like doctors) hair etc. then i will mark the day i would like to go to the grocery store, etc. i try to never have to do two major things on consective days. sometimes this cannot be helped but i always pay later.

    my calendar is full of x's where i couldn't do that "thing" that day, so i just moved it forward. oh well, that is the life of a fmser!

    i will make a list of things i would like to get done that month. example, clean out one box in the attic. sometimes the things on my lists will not get done that month, it might be 2 months down the road, but when they do get done, i get a great deal of satisfaction from just knowing, yes i did it.

    when spring and warm weather arrives the hardest part is not overdoing it because everyone feels the spring fever. i have been dealing with this for so long, i have finally learned to break down my projects into steps, where i used to be able to get the supplies and get the project done in one day it might take a week or 10 days.

    take pride in the accomplishments you do make, no matter how small or big.

    warm regards, fibolady

    p.s. that hubby should be helping you, read my post on spouses that leave. one thing, my housework is practically zero now, minus him! this has definitely made a positive impact on how i feel, better. life easier. help out or hit the door!!
  8. Milo83

    Milo83 New Member

    I have been trying for years to pace myself better..But it always seems when I'm having a good day I over-do it, but naturally then I suffer for the next couple of days..
    Although, I have learned to give tasks to husband and son..I don't ask anymore, I just say, would you please do this or that..
    With your husband refusing, like someone else said, maybe he will get tired of it, and finally help, or ask him if he is willing to get some help in..There are a lot of men that would rather help than "dish out" money for some type of cleaning service..You sound like me, we have more than what we really need..In fact today, I was satisfied with what I had done this week (& it wasn't all that much), but decided to have hubby and son go up on attic and get a set of dishes that were never used (had them for 32yrs still in the original boxes never taken apart)and I decided to clean a few of my cabinets out..Makes me feel better mentally anyway, even though I'll probably suffer the next few days..But I am getting rid of some junk in the cabinets that we really don't use..Sorry, I went on so long..
    I know it's hard for a woman that is used to be able to do "everything" to learn how to pace herself..But it can be done..I'm not like I was 10yrs ago with my housework, but yet the house still gets cleaned..
    Take Care.............Donna
  9. Annette2

    Annette2 New Member

    It's nice to meet you! I think over time you will automatically pace yourself. I can't do everything all at once like I used to. Right now I'm having trouble pacing myself at work! I work part-time, but have been putting in extra hours. Today I left at 3:30, even though there was much more to do! One suggestion I do have for you is to try to simplify your life at home. Try to un-clutter your house. Do you have things you don't really need that are just taking up space? Pitch them! Put them in a box and save them for a garage sale. Or give them away. Are there things you "think you'll use one day"? Well, my theory is: if you haven't used it for 5 years, you'll never use it! I'm not talking about appliances or things like that, just stuff laying around. The less stuff you have around to dust, the better. I think you will find things much easier to take care of once the clutter is gone. And if you can, hire a cleaning service, at least once a month. It will give you peace of mind to see your house clean!

    Annette2
  10. pegasis

    pegasis New Member

    Sorry it took so long to answer back to you! I have been having some really bad days all in a row. And you are right, if guys can look at cars etc., we can look at swatches of materials. You must be a pack rat like me. There is something very soothing about all the colors and paterns on the materials. Hey, we take it where we can get it and thank God for the wonderful blessing right? I will try your idea but am not sure if I can do it either!!lol Biggest hugs, lots of love, and Gods greatest Blessings! Pegasis
  11. pegasis

    pegasis New Member

    Thank you to you also for replying!! I wish I could simplify my life. But, my hubby has had a very hard life and acruses things and it makes him feel better. Like he is doing better financially now. So, alot of the junk is his. My vote is to have a huge garage sale and get rid of like 80f the stuff. I mean ya can't take it with ya when ya die and it isn't worth the stress of keeping it all clean right? Heehee I will work on wearing him down hahaha. Thank you so much for answering my post! Biggest hugs, lots of love, and God's greatest Blessings! Pegasis