Cant take much more!

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by fibrofogqueen01, Feb 5, 2003.

  1. fibrofogqueen01

    fibrofogqueen01 New Member

    Hi everyone,
    I hope you all are doing better than I am.I am warning you all now major vent letter ahead.I am getting so fed up with being thrown around like I dont have feelings.If I hear I am normal one more time I might just finally crack.I read all these things on the web about these conditions that the docs say I might have and some fit me to a tee but because the blood work comes back normal (so they say)then I am just fine.I am not fine I hurt I ache and have a list of symptoms a mile long.I have all the fibro symptoms and they agree with that but I also have severe joint pain and swelling in the knees along with diffrent personalities with major highs and lows from being majorly hyper to wanting to end my life.They did x-rays and said my knees are deteriorating and I have already had one knee surgery and joint problems since school age but they say it is nothing I believe RA but what do I know HUH!They have me on zoloft for the fibro and depression but it isnt helping I have mood swings that even I dont understand my husband always ask who he is married to today the good wife or the crazy wife.I am always putting myself down and feel worthless but I am NORMAL!We will be moving to a new town in a few months and I am just going to start over with all new docs and see if I get anywhere the ones I have been going to now might as well be worthless atleast in my opinion.It is not like I want to be sick I just would like to know if I am though so I can deal with it and make my life the best I can.I am just one screwed up person joint wise muscle wise and mental boy do I need help!Thanks if you read all this I just needed releas release release I am glad I found all of you with this DD that I to carry with me everyday.
  2. selma

    selma New Member

    You sound as if we don't know what you're going through.
    Many of us feel swollen, yet it isn't shown on testd and most of our blood tests are normal. You are not alone.
    Read more here on line if you can and when you can.
    Venting deffinitely helps. Take a deep breath. Take time to be angry about all this C***.
    We are all learning to help and support each other in finding an answer. Right now there isn't one. Many people find diff. ways to feel better(sometimes).
    I'll say a prayer for you. Sending my love & huggs, Selma
  3. fibrofogqueen01

    fibrofogqueen01 New Member

    I know you guys know what I am going through it is everyone in my life around me that doesnt know what I am going through.I feel like the docs are just blowing me off I have had so many it could be......then it ends up not being whatver they are guessing at the time that it makes my husband and family think I am just full of it.I understand what you are all going through.I was not saying I was the only one out there with these problems but I am the only one in my family with these problems and mental issues.
  4. LauraLea

    LauraLea New Member

    you will find the right doctor. I know sweetie it's so hard to be told you are normal when you feel like crap all the time.

    Look at the move as a chances to find a new doctor who can help.

    There really are good doctors out there (just some days it doesn't feel like it) so don't give up. You have our support with you all the way.

    Laura
  5. fibrofogqueen01

    fibrofogqueen01 New Member

    Thanks a bunch everyone ! I will take any advice you all want to give.Anyone know of some other good sights to check out ?
  6. fibrofogqueen01

    fibrofogqueen01 New Member

    Thanks for the tip I will try that.I am a info junkie I love to read whatever I can get my hands on.
  7. bluebirder

    bluebirder New Member

    Hi all. Fibroqueen I also identify with you. Others I read your replys to her.

    I wanted to reach out and hug you guys! I don't know if my marriage (problems before the diagnosis) is going to survive this.I have already been in counseling 3 times to deal with the issues of medical burden I place on this family structure and a mental/manipulative non emotionally supportive spouse. He is now non financially supportive as well. I don't know how I am going to pay the bills. He wrote MY credit card (his name is not on it) and told them to cancel my account and not hold him responsible for my debt since I "have no job or visable means of support"!! This irks me so much. NO MEANS OF VISIBLE SUPP0RT!!! WE ARE married. I just wish God would take me home. I don't want to live on pills. I don't want to be on disability (but I am applying with a lawyer). Can't stand long, walk or sit without irritating some medical condition. Now I find I have Fibro. I want to shake him by the boots and get him to see I need his emtotional support!!!

    My daughter is getting married in June and I can't even go help with the arrangements as he decided my car insurance would go unpaid, took the checkbook. I have no way to access our joint account now.

    Well, anyway I didn't mean to ramble. I just understand the frustrations fibroqueen!!