Can't take pain anymore

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Fibrotears, Jan 12, 2006.

  1. Fibrotears

    Fibrotears New Member

    I feel so angry and disappointed that I still have pain after FOUR pudendal nerve decompression surgeries.

    I don't know what to do anymore. I can live with the FM pain but the chronic, CONSTANT vaginal and rectal spasms and pain I have, I cannot handle nor live with it the rest of my life.

    I'm going back to university at the end of the month, a big step for me, after being at home for two years, because the pain just got out of hand. But I'm scared that the pain will be overwhelming like the last time and that I will have to stop my studies again. Only I can't waste my father's hard earned money, again. I'm lucky to have a second chance to study and won't have another. Am I doing the right thing to go back? I don't want to disappoint my parents and myself again.

    I want to study but once the pain takes over I cannot go on. But I don't want the pain to control my life. If only the pain wasn't constant and got worse by walking, maybe then I could have handle the pain.

    I just wish that there was a cure for this awfull what ever it is. Does any of you have constant and chronic vaginal and rectal spasms and pain. Do you have any advise as to what to do to get rid of it. My pelvic floor muscles are in knots! And it hurts like heck, all day, every day. I'm not sexually active so this isn't the problem.

    I'm just down in the dumps and don't know what to do. I wish the doctors knew what to do. Sometimes I just want to cut everything out down there but that won't help.

    Please give advise!

    Fibrotears
  2. Christinawensell

    Christinawensell New Member

    no advise to give, just wanted to let you know I will be praying for you.
    I also wanted to say you should be proud of yourself for at least trying to go back and do the studies.
    I will pray that everything goes smoothly,

    Christina
  3. Pianowoman

    Pianowoman New Member

    I looked at your picture and read your bio. You have such a bright future; it breaks my heart to hear of your constant pain. I don't have a lot of good answers but is there a comprehensive pain clinic near you? They use various mind-body methods to help you cope with that kind of unrelenting pain.

    I hope someone has a better answer.

    Kathy.
  4. lolee

    lolee New Member

    I can't even imagine what you are going through . . . . .I'm so sorry.

    Can you take a light load of classes at school? Or do have to carry a full load?

    Talk with your parents about not wanting to disapoint them, it doesn't sound as if they are though if they are willing to go another round at this.

    Don't let this fester and worry you, talk with them. They may surprise you.

    Love,
    Lolee
    P.S.

    I think the "not sexually active" was a great big "DUH" with all that you've got going on! LOL!!! SMILE!!!
  5. Bunchy

    Bunchy New Member

    in my rectum not constantly but pretty bad when they happen. I used to get "episodes" where I had rectal pain that would go on for days followed by a few days flu-like severe aching all over and diarrhoea. I also get severe rectal pain after going to the loo sometimes - it can be agonising but doesn't last very long. I would see your doc and describe these symptoms in detail. Maybe he can give you a muscle relaxant or somethign like low dose valium.

    Hugs

    Bunchy x
  6. fibro15

    fibro15 New Member

    Hi,
    So sorry about the pain you are having. Have you ever been checked for endometriosis? Is the pain in the rectum worse around your period? Terrible pain during bowel movements, painful to sit? I had severe endo it was wrapped around the bowel and thru the abdomen. I needed a bowel resection and total hysterectomy.
    After the surgery I have had episodes of pain up in the rectum and vaginal area at times that is very uncomfortable. Especially after going alot or when the irritable bowel is acting up.
    Hope you can find out what is causing the pain.
    Hugs,
    Kathy
    [This Message was Edited on 01/12/2006]
  7. Sandyz

    Sandyz New Member

    I`m so sorry your having such horrid pain. I have had a few rectal spasms and they are very painful. I can see why you would be frustrated and exhausted having them all the time. I don`t know what they are either. I know with Fm, though we can get muscle spasms anywhere in our body. I would really check out the endrometreosis as someone else suggested. I hugh percentage of us seem to get that. I had it.

    Just keep looking for answers, there has got to be help out there. Try another doctor until you find one that helps you. We are here for you!! I`m going to do a search on these kinds of spasms and see what I can find.

    Soft hugs,
    Sandy
  8. poodlemommy

    poodlemommy New Member

    Im so sorry to hear how badly you feel. Are you seeing a doctor who knows about pain management. How about going to a pain clinic. You really need a good doctor and good pain medicine. It took a while for me to find what works but we kept at it and now I have a pretty good life. My pain is very managable. I take oxycontin and its a life saver. I know people get fearful about addiction but I have pain for life so I know I will probably be no this med for life. So addiction and withdrawal arent an issue. Ive been on this medication for 5 years now and havent had to increase it in 2 years. Once you find the right amount you would be surprised how well you can manage. Im grateful for a doctor who understands pain and is not afraid to PROPERLY medicate her patients. Some doctors have such pig headed attitudes and are more worried about their reputation rather than making their patients comfortable. I hope you find some answers and get some relief.
    hugs poodlemum
  9. steve69h

    steve69h New Member

    Sorry to hear you are having such pain and in the area that your having. I have been having bad muscle spasms in my rectal and colon area and I thought Id give my magnets a try. I have shoe inserts that I got from Nikken and it has helped me with my leggs and hips pain and has also help me in a pinch when I started getting migraines also. Anyways i decided I would try and see it never hurts to try. Well I put one of my shoe inserts in my pants and sat down and it stopped my spasms and if i feel them starting I do it and leave the insert there for about and hour or so and I have seamed to gotten rid of the spasms. I can't say it would work for you but you never know it might. I know the magnets from nikken are some of the strongest ones made I don't know if that makes a difference or not but Like i said it has Helped me in more ways then one. If you have any questions just ask and if I dont know I will get the answer somehow for you. And you will be in my Happy thoughts and hope you start feeling better Take care Steve
  10. blkkat

    blkkat New Member

    fibrotears I'm so sorry you hurt so bad! soft hugs BLKKAT
  11. matthewson

    matthewson New Member

    I was thinking along the same lines as MCD. Benzodiazepines might work for your problems. I had a really bad bout with spasms of the crichopharyngeal muscle in the throat (also called globus syndrome) and as soon as they gave me a xanax, the muscle released. I had suffered with this for weeks before I finally got relief. After taking xanax for a few months, I found that I could taper off and the symptoms did not come back.

    The spasms you have could be caused by anxiety, which my symptoms were. I would have had to go through a bunch of swallowing tests and stuff, if not for a sharp ENT who thought it might be caused by anxiety and gave me a xanax to try.

    You would be surprised at the awful spasms you can get due to anxiety! I was surprised that something as simple as taking a xanax would relax the throat muscles.

    But, I am rambling, so I would say, see if you can get a Dr. to prescibe you a benzodiazepine. It my really help with your problem.

    Take care, Sally
  12. gypsysoul

    gypsysoul New Member

    Iam sorry about your pain. I have recently experienced a spasm in my vagina (felt like a charlie horse). I brought it to the Dr's attention and she said it was part of my fibro.

    I can say the pain came on suddenly. It was horrific. It scared me to the point I thought of calling 911. It lasted a good 4 to 5 minutes. I was so scared because I did not know what was happening to me.

    I was upset that the Dr threw this new pain in the bin with fibro. I thought she was blowing me off. But now I understand. It is posts like yours that let me know Iam not the only one.

    Can you take a few online classes that will transfer to your college?

    Please listen to your body. Do not push it to the limit unless it is absolutely necessary. And there will be those times in your life, and you will get through it. You are not alone, and now I know that I am not. Thank You.

    When my vagina pain came I had to lay down and breathe, like I was taught in Lamaze, 25 yrs ago.
    It is breathing through a labor pain. Get someone to show you how to do it. It was the only thing I could do.

    We love you, don't give up, just give in for the day and hit the bed with a heating pad.
  13. steve69h

    steve69h New Member

  14. Fibrotears

    Fibrotears New Member

    Thank you all for caring so much and for your suggestions!

    I'm going to my ob/gyn tomorrow and I hope he can do something but I'm not very hopefull.

    I will keep you informed.

    Warm hugs to all you great souls out there!

    Fibrotears