Caregivers Forum

Discussion in 'Fibromyalgia Main Forum' started by Rea, Oct 2, 2002.

  1. Rea

    Rea New Member

    Tonight I realized this forum was available here. I wish I had found it before. There were many times I would cry from sheer exhaustion. Many times I didn't think I could take it for one more day.

    My mother passed away on Friday, and I had been her caregiver in my home. She had pulmonary fibrosis and lung cancer. It was a long stuggle.

    Now I am so glad she was here and died peacefully, and that I didn't give in to the exhaustion of this DD. Looking back, I don't know how I did it. I guess we just do what we have to do.
  2. Rea

    Rea New Member

    Tonight I realized this forum was available here. I wish I had found it before. There were many times I would cry from sheer exhaustion. Many times I didn't think I could take it for one more day.

    My mother passed away on Friday, and I had been her caregiver in my home. She had pulmonary fibrosis and lung cancer. It was a long stuggle.

    Now I am so glad she was here and died peacefully, and that I didn't give in to the exhaustion of this DD. Looking back, I don't know how I did it. I guess we just do what we have to do.
  3. EllenComstock

    EllenComstock New Member

    Hi, Rea:

    I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. I lost my father a little over four years ago and not a day goes by that I don't think about him and miss him. He was a great dad. At the time I lost my father, my mother's diabetes took a turn for the worse. I never had my mother live with me (I was single at the time), but I cut my work hours (after I was married) to half time so I could help her remain in her home. I also have a mentally ill brother who was living with her at the time. I think I made myself more ill than I already was (I didn't know at the time I had endometriosis and fibromyalgia) trying to do so much. I also had a heart condition (which has since been corrected with surgery-one year ago and so far so good!)

    It's been a real roller coaster ride with my mother and I have felt so helpless and frustrated watching her suffer and not being able to take away her pain. At the same time I had my own pain and exhaustion. It's a long story, but after several heart attacks and strokes and numerous hospital stays, my mother is now is a nursing home and doing pretty well but never well enough to go home. The last major stroke she had affected her mind somewhat and she can no longer live in her home. I found a group home for my brother and he is doing well there.

    When I look back on everything that has happened over the last four and a half years, I wonder how I made it. I have a wonderful husband who has definitely helped me through it. I feel so grateful that my mother was well enough to attend our wedding. Even though my dad wasn't there, I know he was in spirit.

    Anyway, I don't want to keep going on, but just wanted you to know that I understand what it's like to be a caregiver. It really takes a lot out of a normal healthy person, but take a person who is ill themselves, I think it is twice as hard! I also got some therapy while all this was going on and my therapist was just great. We still correspond once in awhile just to keep in touch.

    Anyway, congratulations on all you did for your mother. It shows what a strong person you are and very caring, too!

    Ellen