Cat Diary

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by HeavenlyRN, Mar 23, 2010.

  1. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    Day 983 of my captivity:

    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Althought I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat in order to keep up my strength.

    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.


    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously stupid!

    The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.

    For now.....
  2. bct

    bct Active Member

    HRN: These diaries, especially cat's, are hilarious. Thanks for the chuckles; most therapeutic!

  3. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    I'm glad you enjoyed it. I've had cats all my life, and we now have a dog as well. I've often wondered what they were thinking. I think the cat diary describes our almost one-year old cat very well. His name is Bob! He's a crazy little man with a wonderful personality. Sometimes he just walks up to our dog, drops to the floor and starts meowing. I'm sure he's saying, "C'mon, play with me." The dog just sort of looks at him and says, "Get outta here, I'm busy sleeping!"
  4. HeavenlyRN

    HeavenlyRN New Member

    My parent's cat does that too. It's weird.

    On the other hand.....out cat is a pig and anytime anyone goes into the kitchen he's right there, meowing VERY loudly! We have to be careful because he likes to sit about 2 inches away from our feet and since I'm a klutz it would be very easy for me to end up sprawled out on the floor, face down! I think one of his close relatives wrote the cat diary! Or, I think the other cats at the animal shelter taught him that when he was just a kitten.

    Oh well, we still love him to pieces.